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I have found simply "too fast" or "too slow" to be a challenge to beginners ..
~snip~I still think beginner men would struggle to lead well ~ if they were hitting breaks and interpreting the music ...
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"Too fast" and "too slow" is challenging no matter what your level - just that the boundaries get pushed back a bit as you get better.
I'm not suggesting that challenging tracks be played for beginners to cut their teeth on - just that you don't have to play uninspiring music.
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{re: teaching musicality in parallel with leading} I feel beginners have enough to take on board as it is. And remember, every week someone brand new will be doing the beginner class...
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Perhaps beginners may lead (/learn) better if they were shown how a move could tie into the music? Just a theory.
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If "bending" the dance is ~stuff*~ at, what I consider to be, an appropriate time in the music then "yes"
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but what if he doesn't think it an appropriate time? What would you do if the lead gave you room to do stuff* at an 'inappropriate' moment?
How would you react/feel if the lead stopped you in the middle of doing stuff* and took the lead back again? Is this any different to what you have done by stopping the lead?
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.... I wonder what you think I want here ????? This is partner dancing
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Yes - partner dancing. Dancing
with your partner. When you do stuff*, are you dancing with them?
It's a "lead and follow" dance. The lead leads, The follow follows. What do you think I want here? The follower to follow my lead perhaps?
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... and sometimes I feel like some dancers think they are taking their dog to obedience classes  |
A dog only goes to obedience classes if you have a problem controlling it. There, it learns to walk to heel with a lead... hmmm, my may have a point{*duck*
... erm...not that I would call any ladies dogs either... where's that shovel? 
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Maybe the next time a lady's face turns to stone as she looks to the floor and avoids eye contact, you could ask her what she thinks. It might just be a mis-match, of course....
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... she is avoiding eye contact and looking to the floor - how can I tell if her face has turned to stone? (what does that look like anyway? normally any stony face I get is accompanied by a red-hot glare
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The amount of times I've tread on toes, bashed my partners and collided with them, I'm surprised they still accept a dance
If I do something less obvious than this to upset someone, I am unlikely to notice (especially with a smile and "thanks" at the end of the dance) -
please tell me. 
(hints don't work)