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Frankie_4711 · 9th-March-2006, 05:29 PM

Just wondered if you guys could maybe give me some advice?

While at Storm, I spent most of Saturday night and all of Sunday night in the Blues room – I have totally fallen in love with this style of dancing, which I had not done up until that point, feeling that it gave me, as a woman, so much more freedom to express myself and to feel and interpret the music – something I have always felt is an important aspect of dancing.

BUT, I need to know if I’m doing it wrong, or overdoing it, because I ‘seem’ to be sending out the wrong message to the guys. Or maybe it was the guys - I don't know! To me, all I was doing was dancing, following his lead and reacting to the song. Having read the Online Workshop on Sensual Dancing, I can’t see that I was doing anything unexpected – just following the guys’ lead – they held tight, I held tight; they wiggled, I wiggled. I even improvised a bit, slowing down some of my walk arounds, not immediately taking hold of an offered hand, but wiggling away or turning independently instead. I made some eye contact and even smiled a bit! All of which seemed to be appreciated …

Especially by about 6 or 7 guys who just kept coming back for more – maybe 5, 6, 7 times or more in an evening, some even asking for 4 or 5 dances in a row. Now I’m not rude and don’t want to be thought of as impolite, so I said ‘yes’ each time, and hoped it was just because I was a good dancer(?). But the reaction of 2 of those men once they discovered I was married made me wonder – they both just disappeared virtually without trace, and when I saw one later on, he didn’t even smile at me!

As I said, I’d never done this kind of dancing before, so just went with the flow. Should I have kept more distance (but that wouldn't have felt right for me)? Would I have been seen as rude if I’d said ‘no’ to some of those dances? Do the men out there feel that if a woman is dancing close and sexy that she wants more than just a dance? How do I know where ‘close’ stops and ‘too close’ starts, because that’s something that’s different for everyone – I didn’t think I was too close, maybe they did? Any tips from any ladies been in a similar position? I didn't seem to have the same effect of every man I danced with, so is it me, or is it them? So many questions - sorry, but please help! I’m confused!!

9th-March-2006, 05:29 PM	#1 (permalink)
Frankie_4711 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Maidstone, Kent, England Posts: 389 Status: No Status Rep Power: 2 Rep.: 160	Advice needed please! Just wondered if you guys could maybe give me some advice? While at Storm, I spent most of Saturday night and all of Sunday night in the Blues room – I have totally fallen in love with this style of dancing, which I had not done up until that point, feeling that it gave me, as a woman, so much more freedom to express myself and to feel and interpret the music – something I have always felt is an important aspect of dancing. BUT, I need to know if I’m doing it wrong, or overdoing it, because I ‘seem’ to be sending out the wrong message to the guys. Or maybe it was the guys - I don't know! To me, all I was doing was dancing, following his lead and reacting to the song. Having read the Online Workshop on Sensual Dancing, I can’t see that I was doing anything unexpected – just following the guys’ lead – they held tight, I held tight; they wiggled, I wiggled. I even improvised a bit, slowing down some of my walk arounds, not immediately taking hold of an offered hand, but wiggling away or turning independently instead. I made some eye contact and even smiled a bit! All of which seemed to be appreciated … Especially by about 6 or 7 guys who just kept coming back for more – maybe 5, 6, 7 times or more in an evening, some even asking for 4 or 5 dances in a row. Now I’m not rude and don’t want to be thought of as impolite, so I said ‘yes’ each time, and hoped it was just because I was a good dancer(?). But the reaction of 2 of those men once they discovered I was married made me wonder – they both just disappeared virtually without trace, and when I saw one later on, he didn’t even smile at me! As I said, I’d never done this kind of dancing before, so just went with the flow. Should I have kept more distance (but that wouldn't have felt right for me)? Would I have been seen as rude if I’d said ‘no’ to some of those dances? Do the men out there feel that if a woman is dancing close and sexy that she wants more than just a dance? How do I know where ‘close’ stops and ‘too close’ starts, because that’s something that’s different for everyone – I didn’t think I was too close, maybe they did? Any tips from any ladies been in a similar position? I didn't seem to have the same effect of every man I danced with, so is it me, or is it them? So many questions - sorry, but please help! I’m confused!!