[Lynn]

Firstly - I know what you mean, I felt the same way about blues room dancing at my first weekender - that 'wow, I can really do things with the music'. Its great isn't it?

And yes you have to follow their lead but you can control just how close you get and just how much you respond. Its hard to describe as I react differently to each guy depending on how comfortable I feel with them and how I feel they are responding to what I am doing. If I felt they were getting the wrong message I would politely decline a dance if they've been asking a lot. (Or you can accept a dance and just do a 'normal' dance with 'distance' but then the guy really wonders what he's done and it feels mean to do that, better IMO to refuse.)

If I was dancing 4 or 5 blues dances in a row (them asking, me accepting) as you said I guess I wouldn't be that surprised if they asked if I was single, they might think that the 'connection' they are getting could go beyond the dance floor. (Its different if its someone you know pretty well of course.)

I usually wouldn't dance really close for too long with a guy if it was the first occasion (ie event) I had danced with him. Its perfectly OK to break the close hold and lead yourself out of it. It takes trust to really enjoy any UCP dance if and it usually takes time to build that up over several dances.

And there is a level of getting used to a partner and expressing yourself a little bit more each time you dance with them. I commented to a forumite about still feeling a little reserved dancing with him in 'play' terms, I would trust him completely on the dance floor, so its not about that, just simply that I haven't danced enough with him to the point of more self expression.

It also means there is always that little bit extra and new to bring to the next dance, though I suppose eventually you would run out of boundaries!

Hope this helps a bit!