Apologies in advance to those who take offence but it is good!
Location ( Turra primary school ) "and for all ye English reading this!!.......Turra is a small hamlet north of Aberdeen!!!........being
Turriff
Teacher to class
Right class today is Thursday, so we,re going to have a general knowledge quiz. The pupil who gets the answer right can have Friday off and not come back until Tuesday.
Jocky thinks brill ahm ace at ma general knowledge.
Teacher Right class, who can tell me who said. " Dont ask what your country can do for you , but what you can do for your country.
Jocky ( shoots up his hand )
Teacher looking round Yes Jeremy.
Jeremy ( In english accent ) Yes miss the answer is J F Kennedy inaugeration speech 1960.
Teacher Very good Jeremy. You may come back on Tuesday.
NEXT THURSDAY COMES AROUND, AND JOCKY IS EVEN MORE DETERMINED
Teacher Who said. We will fight them on the beaches , we will fight them in the air, we will fight them at sea. But we will never surrender.
Jocky ( SHOOTS UP HIS HAND SHOUTING I KNOW )
Teacher ( looking round ) Yes Timothy.
Timothy ( In posher english accent ) Yes miss, the answer is Winston Churchill, Battle of Britain speech 1941
Teacher Very good timothy , you may come back on Tuesday.
THE FOLLOWING THURSDAY COMES AROUND AND JOCKY IS VERY VEXED
Teacher Who said One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.
Jocky ( JUMPIMG UP AND DOWN WITH BOTH HANDS UP, YELLING I KNOW)
Teacher ( looking round the class ) Yes Rupert.
Rupert ( In frightfully plummy english accent ) Yes miss that was Neil Armstrong, 1967, The firs! t moon landing.
Teacher Very good Rupert you may come back on Tuesday.
Jocky ( Who has lost the plot blurts out ) WHERE THE F**K DID ALL THESE ENGLISH C**NTS COME FROM
TEACHER ( Looking round the class ) Who the hell said that.
Jocky ( Standing back up ) Bonnie Prince Charlie, Culloden,
1745. SEE YA TUESDAY
Cheers
Steven |