Flirting IMHO can be both natural and learned. Both ways can be 'real' but the time when I personally don't like it to be 'real' is when I'm dancing. I like to pretend a lot when I'm dancing, with the other person doing the same - it's part of the dramatisation of the dance for me. Whilst that may be good for dancing it makes it almost impossible to know if someone is really flirting (rather than good at dramatising the dance) unless they come on while dancing, which spoils the dance unless that's what you're looking for.
Sometimes you can accompany the lady back to her seat in a gentlemanly way if she appears to like that (but don't crowd her!). Work out if she's interested. "See if she's answers you in sentences of more than one syllable," is one of the best bits of advice I heard on this, and it was from a Dundee lady on the Forum - one of the non-scary ones
- Sheena I think maybe . . .
Bear in mind as well that she may be looking for genuine friendship
and nothing else. If you find her (or him)
genuinely interesting, you will be equally happy whether anything beyond a dance turns into friendship, dance-buddies, or romance - asking yourself if this is genuinely your aim will perhaps improve your chances too! Never have an agenda, let the other person do the 'chatting up' - just be polite, gracious and as genuinely interested in that person as good manners and sensitivity permit.
Dancing is primarily a social function and it would be a bit high and mighty to say never chat anyone up during a dance, but be aware that many or most people are there primarily for the dancing. The safest way not to cause offence is to keep the flirting for off the dance floor and
not assume people are there to flirt.
Just my view
