Bald... receeding, thinning, very short, but I don't think you've quite reached bald yet.
Fat... well, you used to be larger, so only really if you were "obese" before. Bulky, large, thick-built possably.
Ugly... that's only because you manage to get georgeous partners {how does he do that?} - I'm sure that if you placed him among
really ugly people he wouldn't look that bad.
Can't dance... I think that should be qualified with "as well as he thinks" or "to the Mavericks" or "with ugly people" or "when chained up"...
