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Old 22nd-June-2004, 06:43 AM   #5 (permalink)
ChrisA
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Re: A reminder (I'm trying not to rant!)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rougeforever
He threw some intermediate moves at me. I fluffed them.
No you didn't.


Quote:

He then threw some more at me. I fluffed them too.
No you didn't


You didn't fluff anything. He failed on two counts:

- to choose moves that you would be comfortable with

- to lead the moves in such a way as to enable you to follow them

This is a situation I see all the time - it really is incredibly common. Guys who know lots of complicated arm-winding moves but who can't lead a single one of them attempting to dance them with beginners or early intermediates who just end up demoralised and thinking it's their fault.

I've said this before, but it is the guy's responsibility to sense where his partner is at, and lead moves that are appropriate. And on the subject of leading - I would bet quite a bit of money that if you felt that he "threw" moves at you he wasn't leading them at all.

Moves need to be led from beginning to end, and for the most part the guy needs to know exactly where the lady's body needs to be on every step of every move in order to lead it properly.

And speaking from my own experience as well as my constant observations, it is incredibly easy for a guy to think he's leading well when in fact he is not. I like to think these days that I have a pretty good idea of when I'm leading well, and no doubt I'm a lot more sensitive to this than I was a couple of years ago. But from time to time I still find myself surprised (usually when practising with Jayne) to discover that a move that's going wrong is my fault when I was under the impression it was, er, not

So please don't feel bad, and please don't be shy of telling a guy to stop attempting to dance moves that you can't follow.

It really is the guy's fault most of the time, and certainly in your case. Even if he could do moves that you can't yet, it is still his responsibility to choose ones that you can, and any guy who thinks he's a good dancer should be able to do this very easily.

Good luck

Chris
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