[jivecat]

Originally Posted by Pete

People have said that the way to improve is to dance with better dancers. In my experience women who are really good dancers are really easy (and lovely) to dance with but I can't see how that improves my dancing (I think I can see how a woman might improve by dancing with a better male dancer: learning new moves etc).

I have certainly learnt a lot from people who were better dancers than me. I learnt not to be scared of more complex moves and to have the confidence to trust that my partner would lead me through it- though this only really came about when I danced regularly with familiar partners. When dancing with people who are of a much higher standard than myself this is still the most important thing that I've learnt -relax and be receptive to what it is they are trying to get me to do. I don't think I could have learnt these things from someone who was at an earlier stage of learning than myself because their lead tends not to be clear and reliable enough.
Regular practice with people who knew what they were doing also helped all the basic moves to become familiar so I could start to work on them and refine them.

I shouldn't really speak from the lead's point of view but some beginnerish men say that their tentative signals are more likely to be picked up successfully by a more experienced lady- and success breeds success. Conversely, I often hear men complain that their efforts to learn during the classes are hampered by dancing with inexperienced or inept ladies- which is why, I presume, so many fixed couples opt out of the carousel system.

I'm also reluctant to ask better women dancers for a dance as I assume they would rather be dancing with someone who is as good or better than them - is this a fair assumption?

What do people think?

This is by no means true. The social reasons for dancing are really important and are not based on dancing ability and it's always nice to be asked. Also demographics are firmly on your side as women are usually in the majority and don't get the same choice of partners as men do. I've had many very enjoyable dances with people from their first night up with a few provisos:

a. They are trying their best to learn.
b. They dance in time to the music.
c. They don't pull me about unreasonably.
d. Don't keep trying moves beyond their ability.

That's rather a lot of qualifiers. And lots of people who wouldn't consider themselves to be at all inexperienced would fall foul of some of these. But I still dance with them. Usually. So don't worry about it. Ask them.