[jivecat]

Originally Posted by ChrisA

.....it's invariably the girls that are the victims of both drop injuries and unwanted groping.

Not so, as regards the injuries, anyway. I'm sure there have been a number of mentions on the forum of guys wishing to protect themselves from jive-caused or aggravated injuries, especially to the shoulder, though not, admittedly, caused by drops. The blame is usually placed on yanking ladies.

So to the girls, I'd say this:

1. Don't dance with them once you know what they do. Sounds obvious, but lots of ladies somehow seem to think that they're being bad by refusing to dance with these guys.

You make things sound so black and white. But they're not. It might be reasonable to do as you say when the culprit is a dyed-in-the-wool, arrogant person who will not see what he is doing wrong and is not receptive to teaching. But things are not usually as simple as that. The guy who dropped me was an inexperienced dancer led to attempt drops with the implicit approval of teachers even though he had not mastered the basic technique of doing them safely. No harm done, on that occasion. He's a nice lad, enjoys his dancing and is steadily improving. I'm happy to take the risk of him dropping me again, though I'm much more vigilant when I dance with him now. I could argue that I was in some sense culpable because I didn't take the chance of correcting him and helping him at the time, because I find it difficult to know how and when to intervene tactfully. (Thanks, Trish, for practical advice given somewhere or other!) But to refuse to dance with him again? I think that would be insufferable behaviour on my part.
And what do I do if the guy who has put me at risk is someone who I usually enjoy dancing with? Congenial dance partners (for women) are not generally so plentiful that we can pick and choose the cream of the bunch.

2. Complain to the offender. Loudly. Emphatically. Stomp off the dance floor. Whatever it takes, make it completely clear how much you object to what's just happened. Whatever else you do, do not tolerate it with that pained smile I see so often on nearby ladies' faces. The message does not come across to the insensitive git that's just hurt or molested you as the disapproval you intend.

I agree that part of the problem is that women do not speak up clearly enough about what is acceptable for them on the dance floor. We all need to do this, though not necessarily in a hostile way, and we need to be backed up by clear and unequivocal support from the teacher during classes. Many men just don't realise that they may be causing a problem and would be mortified to learn that and should be given the chance to change. Also what one follower hates may have been perfectly acceptable to lots of others, as I've discovered when comparing notes with friends.

3. Complain to the organiser. They need evidence to act, and so the more complaints they get about the (usually serial) offenders, the more easily they'll be able to act.

Chris

Only when other avenues have been tried, surely.