Flirting

[ChrisA]

Originally Posted by Pammy

I actually really hate that move. As soon as it starts I think "oh no". I just don't think it even looks good when you're watching it.

I do it sometimes. But (a) I will have a very good idea whether it's Ok to start with and (b) if there's any doubt it is very easy to abort it before contact is made. Occasionally I'll start it, then get a flicker of "this isn't Ok" and abort it in plenty of time. Which makes it into a joke (which it was anyway) which usually gets a smile.

My opinion: Just dance, keep your hands to yourself and know the limits of what is and isn't acceptable, and indeed what those around you want to see and don't want to see. A kiss and cuddle is fine. Sleaze, in my opinion, isn't.

Overt groping of 'bits' is going a bit far, I suppose. But IMHO, the thing that makes any kind of sexualisation of the dance into sleaze is when it's non-consensual. Because anyone who imposes it on an unwilling partner has no respect for that partner, and it's the lack of respect that's the problem.

If it's consensual, then it can be quite erotic and still be fine IMHO - it's none of my business what other people are doing and if I don't like it I shouldn't be watching it (though the woman you described sounds like she was going too far).

As for relationships ending because of dance floor flirting, I think if a relationship isn't strong enough and open enough to cope with a bit of dancefloor flirting, it's probably going to end anyway, and a good thing too, probably. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but one of the realities in life is that even if you're in a relationship you will still find other people attractive. Where to draw the line of how much dancefloor acknowledgement of that attraction is acceptable, is up to the people in the relationship, and none of my business or anyone else's.

I concede that there's a "what about the newbies" question - but I think it's more about what happens to them that's relevant, than what they see, because if they're looking that observantly (and not mostly worrying about their own dancing), they'll probably also see the fact that most people aren't behaving like that at all.

Chris

[Jayne]

Originally Posted by Pammy

I actually really hate that move. As soon as it starts I think "oh no". I just don't think it even looks good when you're watching it.

There are very few people who can get away with this move. Viktor and JiveBrummie are the only two who spring to mind (Chris wouldn't do a move like that, which is why he didn't get a mention ). The rest of the time it's usually a rather rotund, sweaty man who insists on putting your hands on his sweaty man breasts and you're supposed to look like a) it's novel and b) it's pleasant/arousing/whatever.

The other "sexy" move that really isn't is the hallelujah. Personally I find that the only time this works is if your hands are brought apart & down and through the gap there's Viktor doing a body roll. For anyone else I'd recommend just lowering the hands and simultaneously changing from a crossed hand hold to a double hand hold whilst smiling at your partner. It's infinitely more attractive than the hallelujah, IM(NV)HO.

Personal opinions, of course... I'm sure there are moves that I do that guys think "Oh God, not that.." (and I'm not fishing for compliments!)

J

[Pammy]

I've had a conversation with Boomer recently about this sort of over-flirting. The problem is that it's not that these people find someone attractive enough to want to flirt with them, but more that they find everyone/anyone attractive enough. The woman I mention (and she's not the only one), went from one man, to the next, to the next, to the... .... .... and they all received the same amount of "attention" and it's a case of "who am I going home with tonight". I don't like to see that in any environment, not just on the dance floor. It's a case of "anyone is their type"

Like it or not, beginners see behaviour like that and think "weirdo". There are elements of the above apparent in all walks of life, however, the dance scene is very touchy feely and so it is easier to put people off by such behaviour.

[ChrisA]

Originally Posted by Pammy

The woman I mention (and she's not the only one), went from one man, to the next, to the next, to the... .... .... and they all received the same amount of "attention" and it's a case of "who am I going home with tonight". I don't like to see that in any environment, not just on the dance floor. It's a case of "anyone is their type"

Like it or not, beginners see behaviour like that and think "weirdo". There are elements of the above apparent in all walks of life, however, the dance scene is very touchy feely and so it is easier to put people off by such behaviour.

No disagreement with any of this. The person you describe was obviously going way beyond the normal bounds of acceptability. But it's surely pretty rare to find anyone behaving that extremely.

Chris

[TheTramp]

Any guesses on who that 'lady' might be should be kept to yourselves...

Except that 2 people I'm talking to on IM have the same person in mind as me!!

Trampy

[Forte]

We were all encouraged to do little flirty moves at an Amir workshop in Scotland. Amir gave a voice-over of "Look at your partner; now look away briefly; where is he? Look up... Oh there he is".
I had a ball practising that at the freestyle later that evening. Only trouble is I talked myself through it...OUT LOUD I thought Dreadful Scathe was going to fall over laughing in the middle of our dance

[Pammy]

Originally Posted by Forte

We were all encouraged to do little flirty moves at an Amir workshop in Scotland. Amir gave a voice-over of "Look at your partner; now look away briefly; where is he? Look up... Oh there he is".
I had a ball practising that at the freestyle later that evening. Only trouble is I talked myself through it...OUT LOUD I thought Dreadful Scathe was going to fall over laughing in the middle of our dance

Oh well, I enjoyed reading that!!!