A peculiar phenomenon...

[Rougeforever]

So, as a lady following does not come naturally to me (I'm a Project Manager - I can't help it !) but after a few months of being shouted at (once literally) in the beginners class and review sessions I gradually relinquished control (which comes in dead handy in the intermediate class where I frequently have no idea what's going on !)

I learned to follow ok, and stopped anticipating moves. Great.

Now I am more confident though in the moves I've ended up dancing (particularly in class) with lots of beginner men who (because of their own inexperience) actually *expect* the woman to lead.

During one class (an intermediate one) I actually had to stop and say "look, I can't lead you through this move, I don't know it !" - my partner said "oh, you spoilsport", and looked quite disappointed, and we weren't able to go with the rest of the class.

So, I'm now in the position where all my good habits of waiting for a lead (even if it's off the beat) are being challenged, and being a new dancer I'm worried that all the hard learned good habits are being overwritten with bad ones.

But if a man doesn't know the move I can't just stand there grinning at him waiting for a lead - can I ?

[TheTramp]

Originally Posted by Rougeforever

But if a man doesn't know the move I can't just stand there grinning at him waiting for a lead - can I ?

Yes. Yes. And yes.

If he can't lead a move during the class, then what hope is there during freestyle?

By all means, let him lead it, then point out (gently) where he is doing it wrong, but then let him lead it again. Hopefully better.

As you say, if you are leading in the class, then you aren't learning how to follow. And you're picking up bad habits. The teacher is there to teach him the move, so if he wants to learn, then he should watch and try to do it, not rely on you to get him through it.

He can always approach the teacher at the end of the class, and ask the teacher to go through it with him, if he's still not quite picked it up (or just forget about it, and never do it in freestyle). As for not being able to go with the rest of the class, it's only 2 minutes, and then you'll get moved onto someone who (hopefully) can do it.

Trampy

[DavidY]

I think there's a difference between being in the class and freestyle.

Sometimes I can find myself in a class, right at the back of a big hall when I can neither see nor hear (because of dodgy accoustics) the teacher properly. If women are rotating there's a good chance they may just have had a much better view of what the move was, and can help me get it right - especially if I tell them I'm unsure.

[Lory]

Originally Posted by DavidY

I think there's a difference between being in the class and freestyle.

I agree, somethimes it might just be a simple little mistake they're making but you've 'got it' and if you just lead them through it once, it clicks! And Hey presto, they've got it too! I've lost count how many times a man has said, Oh, I didn't realise it was that simple, thanks for showing me!

But, I have the amazing abuility to instantly forget EVERYTHING I've been taught in the lesson the minute it's over!

[Emma]

Originally Posted by Lory

But, I have the amazing abuility to instantly forget EVERYTHING I've been taught in the lesson the minute it's over!

Ha ha, me too! It's a talent! Whereas Tazmanian Devil has the ability to not only recall everything she's danced in a lesson, but also to convert it into the the lead or follow according to which she wants. How cool is that?

[Tiggerbabe]

Originally Posted by Rougeforever

But if a man doesn't know the move I can't just stand there grinning at him waiting for a lead - can I ?

I agree with Trampy, yes you can, in fact often the teacher will ask you to do just that so that the guys appreciate exactly what *they have to do* to make the lady *do what they want her to do*.

In the class if the girls are doing everything automatically then the men aren't really learning - even down to something as simple as the girl offering her spare hand before the leader has actually "asked" for both hands. In freestyle you just wouldn't.

And Taz

[Rougeforever]

Oh bugger There was me hoping you'd sanction me just leading a little bit, if it would help...

I guess I'm just going to have to do it the hard way and concentrate on my own following rather than just going with the flow

It's just as well, I'm only now just getting to *dance* rather than walk through the moves speedily, to music.

[TheTramp]

Still looking forward to meeting you, and having a dance.

Are you going to come to Southport in September??

Trampy

[Geordieed]

Don't change the way you are one bit. If you are in a position to dance by following the lead and not dance what you think is being lead then you are very lucky. It is a skill many women who have been dancing for years would love to master. Bad habits are very hard to break free of. It also encourages men to learn to lead properly which to me feels some kind of ancient artform to master. I am constantly fustrated by my own dancing because I have picked up so many bad habits over the years.

One other thing to bear in mind is learning to protect limbs and joints from heavier lead and follows without taking away of the lead and follow techniques.

[Zebra Woman]

I really want the men to learn to truly lead whatever comes into their heads, so they can relax and get into the music, and I can get into the zone.

I try to meticulously follow, so the man learns what he is leading me to do but....
If a man is really struggling and asks for help, I will tell him which bit I think is going wrong and then help by giving a very gentle squeeze of the hand that he needs to raise up or keep hold of during a move.

If he wants me to completely lead then would maybe do it once , but it feels so wrong. Beyond that I would offer to be the man while he is the lady. So far they have always looked horrified and said 'no thanks'.

Although now I realise from the forum there are quite a few men who really like to be led. .....I think I might stop offering that option, just in case. If I was put on the spot I would definitely get it wrong (and much worse than them).

[under par]

Originally Posted by Zebra Woman

I really want the men to learn to truly lead whatever comes into their heads, so they can relax and get into the music, and I can get into the zone.

I try to meticulously follow, so the man learns what he is leading me to do but..

shall we try tonight then Stripey

[Zebra Woman]

I'll be going straight to THE ZONE

[under par]

Originally Posted by Zebra Woman

I'll be going straight to THE ZONE

Sorry Stripey!!! Mrs par and I are going to Hipsters so maybe another night eh!!!

Have you got the address for the ZONE, maybe we will pop in on the way home. He He

[DavidY]

Originally Posted by Zebra Woman

Although now I realise from the forum there are quite a few men who really like to be led. ~SNIP~ If I was put on the spot I would definitely get it wrong (and much worse than them).

.. but I can assure you my following is not as good as your leading

[Yogi_Bear]

Originally Posted by Zebra Woman

Although now I realise from the forum there are quite a few men who really like to be led.

Quite so, and it can be a most enjoyable experience when the follower takes over the lead, I can assure you