Dancing as a man

[Gordon J Pownall]

Originally Posted by Dianas

...girls don't bite do they?!

Oh yes...they do, but in the nicest way.....although I feel that unless specifically requested, you may be exempt from teeth action...!

[Sheepman]

Originally Posted by Dianas

you sound as nervous as I feel

So what would I have to be nervous about? Making a fool of myself? Nah, never happens!!

Originally Posted by Dianas

What I have found is that women are so nice to dance with,

Phew, I'm glad that's not just me then, can I steal that quote for my new signature?

Originally Posted by Dianas

Have you packed your bucket and spade?

If I'm lucky, I'll remember to pack it this year, along with the kitchen sink . . .

Greg

[DianaS]

Originally Posted by Sheepman

Phew, I'm glad that's not just me then, can I steal that quote for my new signature?

Greg

corse you can

[DianaS]

Originally Posted by Sheepman

If I'm lucky, I'll remember to pack it this year, along with the kitchen sink . . .

Greg

I've talken your advice and am bringing a camping fridge so if you've got a sink we're sorted!

[Magic Hans]

Originally Posted by Gordon J Pownall

IMHO all men should learn to follow as well as lead ....it's the law...(well not yet anyway)...

Totally agree. One hundred and 10 percent!!

[Peter]

Originally Posted by Sparkles

IMO one of the best things about social dancing is to be able to walk into a room and feel that you can confidently (relatively) walk up to anyone there and ask them for a dance

mmm so, the flip side of that must be that once I have mastered following, I will then be able to walk up to the other 50% in the room (ie the guys) and ask them to lead me ... how confident will THEY feel?

[Lory]

Originally Posted by Peter

mmm so, the flip side of that must be that once I have mastered following, I will then be able to walk up to the other 50% in the room (ie the guys) and ask them to lead me ... how confident will THEY feel?

I've just had this funny vIsion of you going up to guys and asking them in the style of the Flower in 'The little shop of horrors' but instead of 'feed me! ......... LEAD ME!

[Rhythm King]

Originally Posted by Lory

I've just had this funny vIsion of you going up to guys and asking them in the style of the Flower in 'The little shop of horrors' but instead of 'feed me! ......... LEAD ME!

Yes but that would only work if they're called Seymour!

[Andy McGregor]

Originally Posted by Dianas

I've talken your advice and am bringing a camping fridge

I expect that kind of fridge bitches about your soft furnishings. Does it have a mincing attachment?

[DianaS]

Originally Posted by Andy McGregor

I expect that kind of fridge bitches about your soft furnishings. Does it have a mincing attachment?

Its a cool camping fridge and doesn't mince
but bitches awfully about my taste

[Andy McGregor]

Originally Posted by Peter

mmm so, the flip side of that must be that once I have mastered following, I will then be able to walk up to the other 50% in the room (ie the guys) and ask them to lead me ... how confident will THEY feel?

In my experience most guys are actually frightened by being asked to dance by another guy. Don't ask me to explain why, I haven't a clue, just accept it.

To answer Peter's post, don't wait until you've 'mastered following' to start dancing with guys as a follower. In my experience the best leads are mostly guys, I think it's simply because they get more practice. Some girls are brilliant leads but they usually dance with good followers so have a nice gentle lead - and, because us guys start of as a beginner follower we usually need something much firmer...

[DianaS]

Originally Posted by Andy McGregor

In my experience most guys are actually frightened by being asked to dance by another guy. Don't ask me to explain why, I haven't a clue, just accept it.

To answer Peter's post, don't wait until you've 'mastered following' to start dancing with guys as a follower. In my experience the best leads are mostly guys, I think it's simply because they get more practice. Some girls are brilliant leads but they usually dance with good followers so have a nice gentle lead - and, because us guys start of as a beginner follower we usually need something much firmer...

well perhsps this gives Peter Greg and me a way forward at BB
If Peter leads Greg, and Greg leads Peter, then I can dance with both of them immediately after and they'll think I'm really good!
Cool plan!
D

[Gordon J Pownall]

Originally Posted by Andy McGregor

In my experience most guys are actually frightened by being asked to dance by another guy. Don't ask me to explain why, I haven't a clue, just accept it

Quite agree,

Mind you, do you think it has anything to do with the seamed stockings, red high heels and boa that you wear...???

I get better results just wearing my usual clothes - and usually only am led by guys I dance with regularly......

[Trish]

Originally Posted by Andy McGregor

In my experience most guys are actually frightened by being asked to dance by another guy. Don't ask me to explain why, I haven't a clue, just accept it.

To answer Peter's post, don't wait until you've 'mastered following' to start dancing with guys as a follower. In my experience the best leads are mostly guys, I think it's simply because they get more practice. Some girls are brilliant leads but they usually dance with good followers so have a nice gentle lead - and, because us guys start of as a beginner follower we usually need something much firmer...

I agree with you about men being mostly better leads because of practice, although it's not always true. However much practice they've had, if men don't notice that they're hurting their partner and are too rough with their lead that's not comfortable. I think that is why most women leads are gentler, they know what it feels like to have your shoulder wrenched by a rough guy, or a guy that's pulling your arm in the wrong direction, and how much nicer it feels if you are lead gently but firmly in the right direction! A lot of women have told me they prefer dancing with women (well the ones that lead frequently) because they aren't as strong a lead. Guys definitely need a firmer lead mostly when dancing as a follower, nearly always IMHO much firmer than a beginner lady would need. I think perhaps (although I'm interested to hear anyone elses view on this) that this might be because they are so used to leading they find it hard to switch their brains off, and therefore lead even when they're supposed to be following. I think sometimes, being 5'3'' I find it difficult to lead men (and some tall girls) strongly because of the height difference.

I also wonder if men have more worries about people thinking they are gay than women do. Women are almost "allowed" to be more touchy feely with their own sex, although I don't really know why that should be. I don't personally watch two guys dancing together and jump to the conclusion they are gay, I presume they're enjoying the challenge of dancing in a different way.

[DianaS]

Originally Posted by Peter

Oooo! I fancy some of that. I will be at BB on the first night only so can I be first in the queue? I should point out that I'm about 6ins taller than Sheepy, in case you need a get out clause (claws?)

The heat of the moment in the cool light of day

A talented but nameless stranger asked me to dance at BB, obviously a Forumite, as he stood in the centre of the floor holding out his hand like a girlie, with an expectant but coy look on his face. I was too giggly to do a thing, the moment past and he expertly took charge! Wheehhh...

BTW am I the only woman whose been dropped for a dog at BB?!

[MartinHarper]

From elsewhere:

ladies taking the lead role is not advised for beginners

I'm curious: whose advice is this, and what are the reasons? Is the advice that ladies shouldn't try to learn both roles at once, or that they shouldn't learn the lead role before the follow role?

[Gadget]

Originally Posted by MartinHarper

I'm curious: whose advice is this, and what are the reasons? Is the advice that ladies shouldn't try to learn both roles at once, or that they shouldn't learn the lead role before the follow role?

My opinion only, but they are two seperate skills, and learning them both together would blur the line between them and make both skills less. Learning one first solidifies the actions and reactions before being bombarded with contrary instructions from the other one.
I would reccomend everyone to try both sides of the partnership - Once I have got my leading to a level I am completley confident with, I plan to learn following; but I'm a controll freak and find it very hard to sit in the back and have no controll over where I am going or what I am doing. {OK, an exaduration, but that's what it feels like to me.}

There are many ladys that can/do take up the lead's role - it is fun and helps when there is a shortage of men. However I believe that most ladies like to feel like ladies: danceing as a man every now and again is fine, but only every now & again.

{IMHO}

[Graham]

Originally Posted by MartinHarper

I'm curious: whose advice is this, and what are the reasons? Is the advice that ladies shouldn't try to learn both roles at once, or that they shouldn't learn the lead role before the follow role?

I don't know whose advice this is, but I certainly agree with it. In my opinion, the biggest hurdle to overcome for most people learning to follow is to not lead/anticipate. It's difficult for the majority of beginner women to do this anyway, because they have a tendency to think (often correctly) that they know better than their partner what move is being attempted and how it should go. Of course, if they have previously or simultaneously actually learned the lead role, it will be even harder for them to "forget" this and relinquish control to their partner. It's not a hard and fast rule - there will always be exceptionally good dancers who would have no trouble switching between the roles, but my own experience and observations of other dancers has led me to the conclusion that if you're going to learn to do both well it's better to learn to follow before learning to lead.

[Trish]

Originally Posted by Gadget

My opinion only, but they are two seperate skills, and learning them both together would blur the line between them and make both skills less. Learning one first solidifies the actions and reactions before being bombarded with contrary instructions from the other one.
I would reccomend everyone to try both sides of the partnership - Once I have got my leading to a level I am completley confident with, I plan to learn following; but I'm a controll freak and find it very hard to sit in the back and have no controll over where I am going or what I am doing. {OK, an exaduration, but that's what it feels like to me.}

There are many ladys that can/do take up the lead's role - it is fun and helps when there is a shortage of men. However I believe that most ladies like to feel like ladies: danceing as a man every now and again is fine, but only every now & again.

{IMHO}

Yes I quite agree about these being separate skills etc. As a lady who leads a fair bit, I found when I started that it was confusing remembering which hand a move started from, from the other perspective. As it is now, I think I take them as a whole set of extra moves, and my brain has got used to it.

I really like leading - I like the challenge of it, although sometimes I get really fed up with it, and would rather be swept off my feet by some nice big bloke. Unfortunately there aren't as many guys skilled in musical interpretation at my local venue as I'd like , and so to some tracks I'd rather lead than have some guy lead me with no account for the music whatsoever. It's lovely when you go to a freestyle full of men who can really DANCE though !

[MartinHarper]

Originally Posted by Graham

If you're going to learn to do both well it's better to learn to follow before learning to lead.

*sniff*
doomed!

I will have to drink more, so I can forget how to lead and start again properly...