Dancing as a man

DianaS · 8th-July-2004, 03:48 PM

OMG!
Help I was asked to dance by a woman last night and found it really difficult. I didn't want to let her down as she was new but it was really tricky. I have been dancing as a man for a few weeks in the beginners lessons and can do the lessons but when it goes to freestyle the moves fly out of my head.
Have other woman become bi-lingual and how did they cope with it?
and is it a good thing in any case?

The venue is short of guys and the guys are all new, so my skills aren't out of line with other guys, it just feels so strange!

Advice welcome even if it is just, don't go there!
Thanks Di

PS she was really nice and it didn't notice when I did all the spacing give me a moment to think routines! I just felt so odd and don't know if I want to dance with other women, or as a man, other than just helpiong out when numbers are short

**Minnie M** · 8th-July-2004, 04:07 PM

I always lead in the beginner classes in both MJ & WCS - which I find quite rewarding as I can offer that little extra, like tips for the follower that helped me when I first started.

However, I do feel very very odd when a woman asks me to dance

I actually don't like dancing with another woman very much (unless it's HevMate who leads better than most men)

Boozey Bird is another great lead

NB: Would like to change the name of this thread

Dancing like a " man " hmmmmm............

*Andy McGregor* · 8th-July-2004, 04:24 PM

I've danced as a man. It's often easier than dancing as a woman because you know what's coming

Of course, being a woman is quite hard 'because you have to do everything backwards and in high heels' Ginger Rogers

**Gordon J Pownall** · 8th-July-2004, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andy McGregor

I've danced as a man. It's often easier than dancing as a woman because you know what's coming

Of course, being a woman is quite hard 'because you have to do everything backwards and in high heels' Ginger Rogers

Teacher training makes you dance both as a man and a woman - I may not be the best dancer to lead (when I dance as a woman

) but it doesn't half give you an amazing clarity of lead when you have experienced the receiving end.

Ask andy McG - he's been on the end of receiving it a few times

IMHO all men should learn to follow as well as lead

....it's the law...(well not yet anyway)...

latinlover · 8th-July-2004, 05:01 PM

I've started to dance as a"follower" every now and then,with a man to lead .
I think it is a good thing for guys to do so they can see how the other half .... jives

surley it can only be beneficial and broaden one's awareness of the dance generally?
I must, however, admit to a frisson of sexual identity anxiety once in a while -being 'dropped' by a guy is quite weird when you're a red-blooded heterosexual (got that everyone?)

male
maybe it's different for girls?

**Lou** · 8th-July-2004, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dianas

I have been dancing as a man for a few weeks in the beginners lessons and can do the lessons but when it goes to freestyle the moves fly out of my head.
Have other woman become bi-lingual and how did they cope with it?
and is it a good thing in any case?

Yup - I'm bi-lingual. In fact I found I'm a better lead than a follower, which is quite soul destroying, to be honest!

It's probably because I hate not being in control.

It's a great way of feeling sympathy for beginner men - as most of them find putting the moves together the most difficult part of starting out. I find that I stick mostly to basic moves when I lead. That way, if I'm not sure what I'm going to do in advance, I have a mental note in my head that if I'm starting in a left to right - maybe do a first move or a change places or in a right to right do a yoyo or hatchback - which gives me time to rack my brains for something a bit more interesting.

I remember I'm a man because I'm using my left hand. I do have problems with gender identity in double handed moves! Oh - and perish any lady who tries sabotage moves whilst I'm leading - I get very confused at that point & forget who I am.

**Rhythm King** · 8th-July-2004, 05:43 PM

I follow occasionally, having learned to do it when a taxi dancer. I usually only do it with a couple of lady friends who lead. They also lead other ladies and don't think anything of it. I have also double-troubled with a lady and another guy, where we would all take turns at stealing the lead.
I have danced with other chaps during Lindy classes, generally when they are going round the class and learning to follow. I haven't tended to do it socially though. When I was first learning to Lindy, I had a private lesson, together with another beginner lady, with Frankie Manning

. This wasn't an arranged thing, we were practising on our own during a lunch break at an event and Frankie walked in on us and gave us the best part of an hour's personal tuition.
I danced with him, so he could reverse lead me through certain moves, to get the feel of how they should swing! A couple of other Lindy teachers use this technique too.
Being the size of a hephalump as I am, people tend not to drop me and I find the following quite hard work -all that spinning and not anticipating

! I'm not convinced I'm terribly elegant and unlike certain Mcpeople I don't engage in cross dressing either.

DianaS · 8th-July-2004, 07:58 PM

thanks for all your responses! I want to resposnd to all of them but am going dancing, so will be brief. I think it did give me a bit of a turn and put me on the spot. As we aren't supposed to refuse I felt I couldn't, but my heart was racing.

I dunno about it all. I expect that she felt safer dancing with a woman and could ask me whereas maybe asking a guy felt a little ambiguous?

I feel though that its not something I had ever thought I would have to do... god I've just realised that I experienced performance anxiety. Funnily enough I don't care when I dance with a man they lead I follow and just sort of enjoy it. being the guy I felt REALLy responsible....

I hope that I never feel like that again and don't know what I'll say if I'm asked again!

GUYS how do you COPE with it

**Emma** · 8th-July-2004, 08:07 PM

I dance occasionally as a lead. I found it very difficult initially to get over the 'worry' of thinking up the next move, but after a while I learned that it was easier if I relaxed and didn't try too hard

Nowadays I'm happy to dance the lead in the class (it's a good way to get to know the women, apart from anything), and I quite often take a female friend for a spin, or dance with a beginner woman....I enjoy it, but to be honest I don't get nearly as much pleasure out of leading as I do out of following. I find following more rewarding, for some reason.

I have absolutely no problem being led by a woman, many of my female friends are excellent leads and they are an absolute pleasure to dance with!

Nick M · 8th-July-2004, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lou

I'm a better lead than a follower

Tell you what Lou, next time we're in a beginner class together, you lead and I will follow!

DianaS · 9th-July-2004, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Emma

I dance occasionally as a lead. I found it very difficult initially to get over the 'worry' of thinking up the next move, but after a while I learned that it was easier if I relaxed and didn't try too hard

oopps realise that its called dancing as a lead, rather than dancing as a man. Spose that its less gendered language but me and my mates call it dancing as a man cas we didn't know that it was called dancing the lead.

We also talk in deep voices when we are doing it and do guy type things
its sort of fun

**under par** · 9th-July-2004, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dianas

oopps realise that its called dancing as a lead, rather than dancing as a man. Spose that its less gendered language but me and my mates call it dancing as a man cas we didn't know that it was called dancing the lead.

We also talk in deep voices when we are doing it and do guy type things
its sort of fun

Scratching and picking ........yeuk so unladylike

**Gadget** · 9th-July-2004, 08:17 AM

Just a breif

to all those who do/can reverse roles - I can't follow. At all. I'm only just getting the hang of leading and following is a completley different skill/mind set.

**Lou** · 9th-July-2004, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nick M

Tell you what Lou, next time we're in a beginner class together, you lead and I will follow!

*lol* Done! So long as you promise not to battle over the lead, otherwise I get far too confused.....

**under par** · 9th-July-2004, 08:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gadget

Just a breif

to all those who do/can reverse roles - I can't follow. At all. I'm only just getting the hang of leading and following is a completley different skill/mind set.

I am going to give following a try soon with a lady lead.

To try and get a better idea of what I am supposed to be doing.

**Peter** · 9th-July-2004, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by under par

I am going to give following a try soon with a lady lead. To try and get a better idea of what I am supposed to be doing.

Me too ... I just need to find a female lead who can cope with a 6'3 (ish) follower ...

DianaS · 9th-July-2004, 09:07 AM

Okay chaps I'm at Daventry this weekend and so if any of you are there and fancy a spin with a girlie doing the guys stuff drop me a private. I do ALL the guy things including beginners moves and have excellent lines that I've picked up while dancing as a woman:-

You stop suddedenly look deeply into the womans eyes and whisper gently in her ear..
Don't you know how to follow?

I also pet your hands, use your hand to scratch my nose and call you my "bird"!

I'd love to feel how it is to dance with a man dancing as a woman so honestly I will behave if you fancy giving it a try...

Any one esle heading to Daventry?

D

**under par** · 9th-July-2004, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peter

Me too ... I just need to find a female lead who can cope with a 6'3 (ish) follower ...

Peter , if you think you have problems I have to find someone who can lead a 6'8" ish follower.................I could be waiting a weee while.

Seriously though

height won't make any difference if my lead has very long arms.

DianaS · 9th-July-2004, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by under par

Peter , if you think you have problems I have to find someone who can lead a 6'8" ish follower.................I could be waiting a weee while.

Seriously though

height won't make any difference if my lead has very long arms.

Hey even if your tall you can dance with a shortie. One lady at our venue is really tall (6' at least) but she bobs down really gracefully for a spin

8th-July-2004, 03:48 PM	#1 (permalink)
DianaS Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Lying in the gutter, looking at the stars Posts: 1,425 Rep Power: 3 Reputation Total: 506	Dancing as a man OMG! Help I was asked to dance by a woman last night and found it really difficult. I didn't want to let her down as she was new but it was really tricky. I have been dancing as a man for a few weeks in the beginners lessons and can do the lessons but when it goes to freestyle the moves fly out of my head. Have other woman become bi-lingual and how did they cope with it? and is it a good thing in any case? The venue is short of guys and the guys are all new, so my skills aren't out of line with other guys, it just feels so strange! Advice welcome even if it is just, don't go there! Thanks Di PS she was really nice and it didn't notice when I did all the spacing give me a moment to think routines! I just felt so odd and don't know if I want to dance with other women, or as a man, other than just helpiong out when numbers are short

8th-July-2004, 04:07 PM	#2 (permalink)
Minnie M Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Hove Actually Posts: 6,666 Rep Power: 5 Reputation Total: 1996	Re: Dancing as a man I always lead in the beginner classes in both MJ & WCS - which I find quite rewarding as I can offer that little extra, like tips for the follower that helped me when I first started. However, I do feel very very odd when a woman asks me to dance I actually don't like dancing with another woman very much (unless it's HevMate who leads better than most men) Boozey Bird is another great lead NB: Would like to change the name of this thread Dancing like a " man " hmmmmm............ __________________ --ooOoo-- Age is a question of mind over matter, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter Leroy (Satchel) Paige (1906-1982) Mickey Mouse's girlfriend, Minnie, made her film debut, along with Mickey, in "Steamboat Willie" on November 18, 1928. That date is recognized as her official birthday. Last edited by Minnie M : 8th-July-2004 at 04:10 PM.

8th-July-2004, 04:24 PM	#3 (permalink)
Andy McGregor Commercial Operator Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sussex by the Sea Posts: 7,141 Rep Power: 5 Reputation Total: 1570	Re: Dancing as a man I've danced as a man. It's often easier than dancing as a woman because you know what's coming Of course, being a woman is quite hard 'because you have to do everything backwards and in high heels' Ginger Rogers __________________ “Any fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius-and a lot of courage-to move in the opposite direction.” Albert Einstein

8th-July-2004, 05:01 PM	#5 (permalink)
latinlover Registered User Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 352 Rep Power: 3 Reputation Total: 181	Re: Dancing as a man I've started to dance as a"follower" every now and then,with a man to lead . I think it is a good thing for guys to do so they can see how the other half .... jives surley it can only be beneficial and broaden one's awareness of the dance generally? I must, however, admit to a frisson of sexual identity anxiety once in a while -being 'dropped' by a guy is quite weird when you're a red-blooded heterosexual (got that everyone?) male maybe it's different for girls?

8th-July-2004, 05:43 PM	#7 (permalink)
Rhythm King Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Peripatetic, Poetic and Chic... Posts: 2,913 Rep Power: 4 Reputation Total: 1259	Re: Dancing as a man I follow occasionally, having learned to do it when a taxi dancer. I usually only do it with a couple of lady friends who lead. They also lead other ladies and don't think anything of it. I have also double-troubled with a lady and another guy, where we would all take turns at stealing the lead. I have danced with other chaps during Lindy classes, generally when they are going round the class and learning to follow. I haven't tended to do it socially though. When I was first learning to Lindy, I had a private lesson, together with another beginner lady, with Frankie Manning . This wasn't an arranged thing, we were practising on our own during a lunch break at an event and Frankie walked in on us and gave us the best part of an hour's personal tuition. I danced with him, so he could reverse lead me through certain moves, to get the feel of how they should swing! A couple of other Lindy teachers use this technique too. Being the size of a hephalump as I am, people tend not to drop me and I find the following quite hard work -all that spinning and not anticipating ! I'm not convinced I'm terribly elegant and unlike certain Mcpeople I don't engage in cross dressing either. Last edited by Rhythm King : 8th-July-2004 at 05:45 PM.

8th-July-2004, 07:58 PM	#8 (permalink)
DianaS Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Lying in the gutter, looking at the stars Posts: 1,425 Rep Power: 3 Reputation Total: 506	Re: Dancing as a man thanks for all your responses! I want to resposnd to all of them but am going dancing, so will be brief. I think it did give me a bit of a turn and put me on the spot. As we aren't supposed to refuse I felt I couldn't, but my heart was racing. I dunno about it all. I expect that she felt safer dancing with a woman and could ask me whereas maybe asking a guy felt a little ambiguous? I feel though that its not something I had ever thought I would have to do... god I've just realised that I experienced performance anxiety. Funnily enough I don't care when I dance with a man they lead I follow and just sort of enjoy it. being the guy I felt REALLy responsible.... I hope that I never feel like that again and don't know what I'll say if I'm asked again! GUYS how do you COPE with it

8th-July-2004, 08:07 PM	#9 (permalink)
Emma Omnipotent Moderatrix (LMC) Join Date: May 2002 Location: Sarf East London Posts: 1,602 Rep Power: 4 Reputation Total: 99	Re: Dancing as a man I dance occasionally as a lead. I found it very difficult initially to get over the 'worry' of thinking up the next move, but after a while I learned that it was easier if I relaxed and didn't try too hard Nowadays I'm happy to dance the lead in the class (it's a good way to get to know the women, apart from anything), and I quite often take a female friend for a spin, or dance with a beginner woman....I enjoy it, but to be honest I don't get nearly as much pleasure out of leading as I do out of following. I find following more rewarding, for some reason. I have absolutely no problem being led by a woman, many of my female friends are excellent leads and they are an absolute pleasure to dance with! __________________ It's only dancing - but I like it

9th-July-2004, 08:17 AM	#13 (permalink)
Gadget Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Cruden Bay (Aberdeen) Posts: 6,078 Rep Power: 5 Reputation Total: 1516	Re: Dancing as a man Just a breif to all those who do/can reverse roles - I can't follow. At all. I'm only just getting the hang of leading and following is a completley different skill/mind set. __________________ I used to be an angel, you know with halo and those wings; Now that i'm a devil, my mind's on other things... My feathers turned to ash, and my harp has broke in two; I took uppon myself, to have a dance with you... ¤ TheEvolutionOfMJ ¤ SensualDancing ¤ TechniquesOfLeading ¤ MarkOfaGoodTeacher ¤ Style ¤ Moves,moves,moves ¤ MoveMap ¤ DanceingTest ¤ DanceFloorSlease ¤

9th-July-2004, 09:07 AM	#17 (permalink)
DianaS Registered User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Lying in the gutter, looking at the stars Posts: 1,425 Rep Power: 3 Reputation Total: 506	Re: Dancing as a man Okay chaps I'm at Daventry this weekend and so if any of you are there and fancy a spin with a girlie doing the guys stuff drop me a private. I do ALL the guy things including beginners moves and have excellent lines that I've picked up while dancing as a woman:- You stop suddedenly look deeply into the womans eyes and whisper gently in her ear.. Don't you know how to follow? I also pet your hands, use your hand to scratch my nose and call you my "bird"! I'd love to feel how it is to dance with a man dancing as a woman so honestly I will behave if you fancy giving it a try... Any one esle heading to Daventry? D