First-time Impressions

[ducasi]

Hi,

I went to a Ceroc class for the first yesterday. I thought I would share my impressions.

First, some background. I don't have any history of dancing - never been to any sort of classes since school. I've always enjoyed ceilidhs and such though.

I was persuaded to go by a friend who attends quite regularly, though she wasn't at the class last night - I figured it would be less stressful if I wasn't worried about making a fool of myself in front of anyone I know. She had filled me in on how things work though, so there wouldn't be any big surprises.

When I got there I was surprised by a couple of things. First, "joining" Ceroc is very simple - I didn't have to give any details at all about myself, not even my name. Second, I thought there would be a bigger fuss made of a new person, but there didn't seem to be anyone there to do that.

Because I'd been fore-warned, I pretty much knew what was going to to happen during the beginners session, but I think I'd have been pretty lost otherwise - it can take me a bit of time to acclimatise. Fortunately, the partner I had first seemed to know the ropes and things went pretty smoothly.

So the moves we were learning that night looked very complicated. I'm really surprised that I managed to learn it at all. The partners I had varied in their skill and helpfulness, but I was quickly adopted by one of the taxi dancers, and she stuck with me the rest of the session. She was just brilliant and helped me a lot (when she wasn't managing to confuse me. )

I don't know what I did to receive her dedicated attention - there were maybe 4 or 5 other new people. Perhaps I just looked more lost than the others, or maybe she didn't see them all when the teacher asked us to put our hands up. I'd like to think that she thought I was just cuter than the others.

So, I guess I've just revealed that I'm male, so I guess we can talk about that for a bit - what it's like to be a guy beginner.

The good part: You get to stay put on the floor all the time.

The bad part: You are meant to be able to lead.

I was asked to dance during the "freestyle" bit after the beginner's session by an intermediate. I didn't have much of a clue. I did manage to do some of the stuff just taught to me, and my partner was a bit surprised but impressed that I had learnt such difficult moves for my first lesson.

I had tried to hide by making myself busy having some water and talking to the taxi dancer, but she had to go and arrange the revision bit and I was left alone and vulnerable.

Up to now I haven't mentioned any names or the place, I probably won't post this today, so it's less obvious where I was. Although I don't think I've said anything bad about anyone, I don't think it's appropriate to identify individuals unless they want to identify themselves. I guess some people might be able to work it out though. (I also tried to post this anonymously, but wasn't able to... oh well.)

I'm now going to talk a little about the location which may also make it easier to figure out where I was.

Over-all the location was quite good. It's a place I'm fairly familiar with anyway, which helped. There was really only one problem. When us beginners went elsewhere to practice our new moves with the taxi dancers, we found that there wasn't a place for us to go to. We ended up dancing in a fairly cramped space, with a wet and sticky floor and the occasional passer-by having to walk through us. Not ideal.

The revision bit did help a lot though. In fact I learnt things that weren't covered by the teacher - more general stuff that she wouldn't have time to go through during the class. Very useful.

After that we went back to the main hall and watched the intermediates doing their routine. They broke up quite quickly though and it was back to freestyle dancing.

I hid by concentrating on the text I was sending to my friend to say how much I'd enjoyed it. I haven't really said here how much I enjoyed the whole night. Ceroc dancing is remarkably easy and really good fun. During the lesson I couldn't stop grinning I was having such a good time.

After sending the text, I made my escape before I was accosted again and asked to dance by anyone who would know any more steps than me, and would be confused by my feeble attempts to lead them.

And this is where we get to the big problem for me. The one thing that is putting me off going back is the pressure on the guy to lead. I don't want to find myself asked by more experienced dancers to dance and then not know what to do. I don't want to do the asking either. What chance does an absolute beginner guy have?

I've seen other discussions where people have talked about what is needed to persuade more guys to do Ceroc. One thing I noticed last night was that there seemed to be a different age profile between the guys and the girls - the average age of the guys seemed to be a bit higher, though I may have been mistaken - to tell the truth, I hardly noticed the guys anyway. (What do you expect?)

I guess the big thing is about perception. I'm not going to be telling all my friends that I went to a dance class last night. It's just like in "Shall We Dance" if you've seen it. There's a lot of stigma attached to the idea of guys wanting to actually learn how to dance. I guess as we mature that tends to diminish.

I'm not really sure how to combat this problem. I hesitate to mention this, but one thing I did enjoy last night was meeting so many girls so quickly. (Most of which were really nice, though there were a few we just won't talk about.) I guess it's a bit like speed dating, but with less talking and more spinning. Now maybe if this aspect was emphasised to guys more, it would get them through the door. After that they're either going to get hooked on it or not, but at least they'll have experienced it and be able to make an informed decision.

OK, I think I've written more than enough now. Anything else you want to know, just ask...

Before I go, I'd like to thank all the partners I had last night, the teacher and the taxi drivers for making my first time so much fun. I also want to thank my pal for making me go along.

Cheers!

[Minnie M]

Gosh - is this the longest first post

Welcome ducasi

Good luck and hope you have many many great dancing nights, and if you love dance you WILL be hooked

[El Salsero Gringo]

Hello Ducasi, and welcome to the Forum. Congratulations on taking your first Ceroc class, and it's nice to hear it was a positive experience for you!

Originally Posted by Ducasi

And this is where we get to the big problem for me. The one thing that is putting me off going back is the pressure on the guy to lead. I don't want to find myself asked by more experienced dancers to dance and then not know what to do. I don't want to do the asking either. What chance does an absolute beginner guy have?

I agree it's a nightmare at the end of your first class, worrying about having to lead a whole dance when it seems that *everyone* in the room is better than you, and going to to be judging your 'performance.' The first thing to remember is that everyone in the room has been through exactly the experience you mention - and they remember well what it felt like. Once you've been to two or three classes (especially when you re-learn a move that you already know, an there are newer members than you) you'll pick up a bit more confidence.

As for asking or being asked to dance - set yourself a target for the next class: promise yourself to ask, say, three or four ladies also attending the revision class, the taxi-dancer(s) and one 'intermediate' dancer for a dance. Only then allow yourself to go home. That's the *only* way to learn to turn the steps into a dance.

Of course your efforts are likely all to go pear-shaped, you'll probably have to stop in the middle of the songs to find your feet again, you might lose the beat, and the look of concentration on your face will be like in the hardest exam you've ever sat. Don't worry about it, that's all totally normal. Instead of giving yourself a hard time when it goes wrong, give yourself a mental pat on the back everytime you get something (anything!) right - a move completed smoothly - a second move attached to the first - and so on. Make it a positive thing, not a negative. Remember *Everyone* has the same experience at the start, and no-one is going to look down on you for having the guts to get out on the dance-floor and learn - quite the opposite in fact.

Remind yourself that it's going to take probably a couple of months until you start to feel 'comfortable' with leading a dance, but two months is actually a really short time when you look back on it. The trick is to make sure that you have enough fun at each Ceroc night you go to make it worthwhile in its own right. You'll also find you start to recognise other people who are also just starting out which is a great help in feeling more confident in yourself.

In between classes it can help if you step through the moves (as much as you can remember - don't panic if you don't) to some music at home.

Just one more comment: when you say "The good part: You get to stay put on the floor all the time." - do remember to move your feet with the moves, as you lead your partner. I'm sure you are remembering to do that, right?

All the best and hope to see you on a dance-floor in London sometime!

PS remember to ask the Taxi-dancers to dance - for all but the last 45 minutes or so of each evening, they're only allowed to dance with newer members (such as yourself), so don't feel reticent about using them. It's what they're there for.

i

[Lynn]

Originally Posted by ducasi

And this is where we get to the big problem for me. The one thing that is putting me off going back is the pressure on the guy to lead. I don't want to find myself asked by more experienced dancers to dance and then not know what to do. I don't want to do the asking either. What chance does an absolute beginner guy have?

This bit will get easier - at first you are trying to remember all the moves you have learnt. Learning to lead develops as you practice. Pick your favourite move from the night, the one you can remember easily and if you get stuck, go back to that one. And an important point is that everyone has been a beginner at some stage and so know what its like - and most experienced women won't mind at all if you get a lead wrong - just smile, and keep going!

And welcome to the forum!

[Andy McGregor]

Originally Posted by ducasi

I guess it's a bit like speed dating, but with less talking and more spinning.

Maybe we should run 'Spin Dating' nights where you meet dizzy women for 3 minutes

What a FAB post!

I'm sure this is what goes through the minds of many guys when they start MJ. It is very scary, you don't know anyone, you know much less than your dance partner and you're supposed to be in charge and show them what to do! This makes your first few weeks feel very difficult. The good news is that everyone is so friendly, and forgiving of beginners - in fact, most women who do MJ are very forgiving and encouraging to any men, no matter how long they've been dancing

The good news for ducasi is that next week he will be twice as good!

Now here is the advice I always give men like ducasi who really seem to enjoy their first night;

DON'T GO BACK!!

Stop now while you still can! There's no hope for us addicts (especially those of us on here ), but it's not too late to save yourself. Find youself a nice, easy to quit hobby like fishing

[ChrisA]

Hi, and welcome !!!!!



I really enjoyed reading your post, Ducasi. I thought it was very interesting, and I'm really impressed that you managed to observe and reflect on so much, despite being so new to it all - the early lessons were much more of a blur for me

Originally Posted by ducasi

And this is where we get to the big problem for me. The one thing that is putting me off going back is the pressure on the guy to lead. I don't want to find myself asked by more experienced dancers to dance and then not know what to do. I don't want to do the asking either. What chance does an absolute beginner guy have?

Every chance, in fact.

Most people remember that they were beginners once, and will cut you a lot of slack.

If you get some really good experienced ladies to dance with a bit, they'll do nothing that you don't lead, which is fantastic for learning, even though it can feel a bit embarrassing to start with.

Don't be reluctant to ask people to dance, even if you just know three or four moves. Concentrate on giving clear but gentle leads, and people will like dancing with you, cos it's not about doing huge numbers of complicated moves, it's about making the ones you do, feel nice.

Aim to learn to freestyle just one, or maybe two new moves each week. They'll still build up quite quickly, but at a comfortable pace you'll be dancing them much better than if you rush to learn too many too soon.

It'll feel awkward to begin with, but press through the awkwardness, no matter how bad you think you are. There will soon be beginners even newer than you and you won't be the least experienced dancer in the room for long

Whatever you do, don't pressure yourself into thinking that you should be better than you are, cos that way the pressure will slow your progress. Just keep at it, ask for feedback when you dance with more experienced people, and dance as often as you can.

Keep posting, it'll be great to hear how you get on.

Welcome again to the forum - it can be a bit of a madhouse sometimes, and lots of obsessive dancers hang out here, but you never know, you might end up one yourself

All the best!

[Tiggerbabe]

Originally Posted by El Salsero Gringo

Just one more comment: when you say "The good part: You get to stay put on the floor all the time." - do remember to move your feet with the moves

I'm guessing he means that as a man you don't have to move in the rotation and so are "on" the floor the whole time - I could be wrong though

Glad you enjoyed your first night Ducasi, as everyone as said, next week you'll enjoy even more, and there will be one move in next week's beginner's routine that you have already done.

[clevedonboy]

Just chipping in to reinforce what others have said - be bold. I'm a bit of a newbie myself having started in Oct 2004 but things are a bit different for us as it's leroc (so no taxi dancers). The first few weeks I found really scary but most of the more experienced ladies in the class were really considerate & some were downright forceful in making me dance (in a kind way), After four or five sessions though I felt confident enough to string together combinations of moves (badly at first of course) but once I reached that point it was all systems go.

I'm now going to two classes a week and attend whatever dances / workshops I can. It's got to the point now where I hardly dance with my partner at all (slight exageration there)

[Andy McGregor]

Originally Posted by clevedonboy

I'm now going to two classes a week and attend whatever dances / workshops I can. It's got to the point now where I hardly dance with my partner at all (slight exageration there)

It's two classes a week now, but soon it will be three, then 4, then you'll be counting the nights you don't dance "I don't usually dance on Sundays - unless there's a T-Dance within 100 miles". You'll find yourself saying "I know I seem to be obsessed but I could quit any time I choose".

Face it clevedonboy, you're hooked.

Go dancing every night, you know you want to

[Lory]

Originally Posted by ducasi

Hi,

I went to a Ceroc class for the first yesterday. I thought I would share my impressions.

~HUGE SNIP~

Cheers!

Hi Ducasi and welcome to the forum

I really enjoyed reading about your first experience and look forward to some further installments as the weeks go on!

I'd like to offer my words of wisdom!

In six weeks from now you'll be absolutely amazed how much you know! Then in another 2 years from then, you'll be amazed how little you still know!

[Tiggerbabe]

Originally Posted by Lory

In six weeks from now you'll be absolutely amazed how much you know! Then in another 2 years from then, you'll be amazed how little you still know!

Wise words, indeed, Ms Lory

[John S]

Excellent post, Ducasi, very perceptive and some good analysis of why men find it more difficult to begin with than ladies.

And you even noticed that the average age is higher for men than women - not something that had ever occurred to me (yeah, right! )

Which prompts the thought, is it fair to say that a lot of ladies in the 45-55 age bracket who come along soon give up because the men who are the same age are too busy dancing with the younger fillies? (Not that this applies to me, as I'm in altogether different age bracket )

But back to Ducasi's post. You've already taken several bold steps - you've gone along to somewhere new/strange, you've challenged the male ego problem by dancing with women who are better dancers than you, and you've gone public on a forum with a worldwide readership to confess that you enjoyed dancing!

So now, just keep being brave - as well as the valuable suggestions already made, get along to a beginners' workshop if you can, try out a party night as an incentive to see how much fun Ceroc can be, and if you feel like getting in touch with any local Forum members then do so - some of us are almost normal.

Oh, and do keep on enjoying the company of younger women.

[bigdjiver]

Originally Posted by ducasi

When I got there I was surprised by a couple of things. First, "joining" Ceroc is very simple - I didn't have to give any details at all about myself, not even my name. Second, I thought there would be a bigger fuss made of a new person, but there didn't seem to be anyone there to do that.

In Ceroc Central new members have to fill in a membership form, and are usually guided through the process by a Taxi-dancer, who gives them basic info..

... the moves we were learning that night looked very complicated. I'm really surprised that I managed to learn it at all.

It would be nice to know what these "complicated" moves were. We have regular discussions on this forum about what moves should be beginner moves.

... I was quickly adopted by one of the taxi dancers, and she stuck with me the rest of the session. She was just brilliant and helped me a lot (when she wasn't managing to confuse me. )

I don't know what I did to receive her dedicated attention - there were maybe 4 or 5 other new people...

The question ...

So, I guess I've just revealed that I'm male...,

and perhaps the answer. I got flak for suggesting that the Taxi dancers should give the men more support, so they could participate fully sooner.

I had tried to hide by making myself busy having some water and talking to the taxi dancer, but she had to go and arrange the revision bit and I was left alone and vulnerable.

I suggest that you do not hide. I suggest that you watch, and start picking out simple moves that you like. There are so that are so simple and obvious that they hardly seem worth calling a move at all. If asked explain that it is only your second night, and ask if they mind going through the lesson with you. Most people enjoy showing what they know and helping people, and it is an investment in the future for them. Do not be deterred if they feel that they are not up to helping a beginner.

And this is where we get to the big problem for me. The one thing that is putting me off going back is the pressure on the guy to lead. I don't want to find myself asked by more experienced dancers to dance and then not know what to do. I don't want to do the asking either. What chance does an absolute beginner guy have?

You have to learn to ask, and to accept the occasional rejection, and not bother about it. Do not assume that you know why you were rejected. I suggest that you watch while all the asking is being done. If not asked, pick someone, tell them that you are a beginner, and ask if they will let you try and go through the lesson with them. By this time you will only be using up half of the track anyway, and they would only be standing there otherwise.

Welcome, enjoy, and thanks for sharing.

[clevedonboy]

Originally Posted by Andy McGregor

It's two classes a week now, but soon it will be three, then 4, then you'll be counting the nights you don't dance "I don't usually dance on Sundays - unless there's a T-Dance within 100 miles". You'll find yourself saying "I know I seem to be obsessed but I could quit any time I choose".

Face it clevedonboy, you're hooked.

Go dancing every night, you know you want to

Other things do get in the way at the mo (I suppose they could be dropped)

This week is a bit busy now though - class on thurs, dance on fri, workshop and dance on sat, dance on sun, class on mon. I'm not sure if my body can cope with it.

We do try to practice for half an hour on days we can't dance though and cooking last night was a bit awkward when trying to work out the mechanics of one of those devilish half pretzel, travel, secret move, travel, teapot, travel etc moves - I think I need a bigger kitchen

[Piglet]

Hiya Ducasi

Cheers for the enjoyable-to-read posting. I've been dancing since April last year and I can empathise with a lot of what you said - I found as a beginner lady I had to learn all the moves (from the female perspective) which was probably a nightmare for the experienced dancers to have to put up with cos I was probably leading far more than being followed... There's a surprise!

My first night: I didn't even stay beyond the revision class cos it was terrifying to go back up to the room where all the great dancers were. I got over that fear by my second visit though.

My advice is to go over the steps at home again - I used to "dance" myself to sleep by playing a CD and going over the moves in my head - but I found that I needed to know the names of all of the moves in order to do that and I was fooled for a bit by the variations and hadn't realised there were variations... eg. First Move Push Spin and First Move "whatever" the other one is called - can't believe I'm having trouble remembering but I can do the move so obviously the names aren't so important these days.

Also try to share a couple of words with your partners during the beginners' class because then you will find it is easier to go and ask that person for a dance because you already have a "bond" of sorts. And really try to dance with the ones that you felt the class went well with.

I might copy your email and paste it to send to the the guys I've been trying to get to come along since I've started. It's maybe not their thing (they must be mad!) but it'd be nice to see them just give ceroc a chance.

Have fun and remember to laugh when things go wrong - I had such a better laugh when I was learning than I do now that I know some of the moves much better. But I do enjoy when things go wrong (with most partners) because we just crack up.

Happy cerocking!
Pamela

[Chef]

Welcome Ducasi

Welcome to both the forum and to dance. Congratulations on such an excellent "maiden speech". It was like re living my first Ceroc night.

All advice that has been said before has been excellent and I would just add my bit which is to get yourself booked on the next available beginners workshop. I found that it was absolutely excellent. The group was smaller, taught in greater detail, at a slower pace and great tips on how to put things together to form a freestyle.

Be keen. The world loves someone that tries. I made joke of this point and equiped my shirt with drivers L plates with the words "Help Wanted" written on them. The humour of it and setting out my desire to learn meant that the help came to me faster than I could seek it out.

I had to giggle about your point about not telling the guys that you had been out dancing last night. Some guys I know would find it easier to come out to theri mates that they were gay rather than tell them they were dancing.

If you ever feel that then remember this. During an episode of "strictly come dancing" a rugby player called Martin Offiah was being trained to dance Rumba. His professional partner had him stand still as she walked all around him placing and rubbing her hands all over his body while saying "as the training goes on I will be touching you more and more and wearing less and less until the end of the week when I will be all over you and almost naked". Martins response was "this is a lot better than being pulled down into the mub by a lot of sweaty guys". Darn right. I would rather be dancing with the ladies than belching with the guys.

Once again, Welcome and a great first post.

Happy Dancing