Are Housewives Extinct?

[fletch]

Originally Posted by Twirlie Bird

I'm proud to be a housewife.

I am happy at home.

All of my children are fully capable of cooking and cleaning. I consider it my duty as a parent to ensure they are able to take care of themselves when they leave my nest. If they were not able to do this then I would have failed them

Originally Posted by Crazy Shark

I'd rather work then be a housewife.

you might feel differently when you have your own family









and No they arn't extinct in Penkridge Stafford where I live, infact i'm sure there all 'Stepford wives'

[Little Monkey]

Originally Posted by Freudian Hips

Not on site, unfortunately. Is that the deal breaker?

I'm afraid so....

[dep]

Originally Posted by fletch

I'd rather work than be a housewife.


you might feel differently when you have your own family

but, that is work, too damn much of it for some.

[jacksondonut]

Originally Posted by Twirlie Bird

It needs to be justified? I'm proud to be a housewife.

My children are almost all teenagers now but why does that mean I should go to work? I am happy at home. I take pride in keeping my house clean and tidy, providing my family with healthy nutritious meals and doing all the little things that get neglected simply due to a lack of time when working. I know that my Husband is coming home to a pleasant environment every night and a happy wife. That makes me feel proud. I am not stressed because I am trying to juggle work, kids and the home. I have time for everyone and we all benefit. Sure if I went out to work then we would have much more money coming into the house and we would be able to do more things but at what cost to the family? For me - for us - me working isn't really a viable option. It's about getting the balance right for your own personal circumstances.



All of my children are fully capable of cooking and cleaning. I consider it my duty as a parent to ensure they are able to take care of themselves when they leave my nest. If they were not able to do this then I would have failed them.

Originally Posted by Cruella

Absolutely. I was a FTM for twelve years and I loved it and would hate to have had to go to work and miss out on all the time and experiences I had with my children.
Now they are nearly both into their teens so obviously more independant but I still only work 'school hours' I want to be there when they come home from school to greet them and give them a hug.
Yes, I have been lucky enough to have a husband that earns a good wage and also wanted that for his children. I can sympathise with those that really can't afford not to work, and single parents that have no choice. What I can't understand is those that have children and could afford to live on one wage comfortably, but choose to have them and then go back to work full time within weeks of the birth. Get someone else to nurture their children and sometimes be there to put them to bed. What is the point of having kids if you are not going to be there to be a mother to them?

Thanks Cru & TB is the same for me..

I spent nearly 20 years doing the above and maintain it is the hardest, but most satisfying job I have ever done (and still do, as you will always be a parent)!!... and yes, I feel I have been very lucky and priviledged to have been able to do so.. I am fortunate to have 3 well-balanced decent teenagers (most of the time).. so absolutely no regrets whatsoever..

... I am now ready to face the world again and start work as they are all pretty independant..... Nowthat thought, I find REALLY terrifying...

[Scotch Bonnet]

My children are almost all teenagers now but why does that mean I should go to work? BY TWIRLIE BIRD
Absolutely not if you can financially afford it.I have worked full time since mine were at primary school and I wish I could have been there after school for them as teenagers they need you just as much then if not more so !

Enjoy them xx

[Tiger Feet]

Originally Posted by Tiger Feet

In fact, I've just hired a cleaner because I can't seem to make any headway with anything. I am, therefore, a rubbish housewife!

Cleaners came for the first time this morning and it was a disaster ! I've already been feeling worried about it and annoyed with myself that I can't do it all, but I had settled myself by thinking that they do it for a living and they'll not know me and therefore can't go around talking about how disgraceful the house is to anyone who knows me (who, admittedly, already know what my house looks like anyway...I'm not saying I'm rational!). So, I was a bit shocked when the girlfriend of one of my husbands friends turned up. She's a horror! She was in every room, even the rooms I'd told them not to open (not cleaning, just noseying). She spent part of the hour making comments to her partner like 'When my kids were little, I would never leave things like this...blah...blah'. She stood around for ten minutes slagging off my husband (for working away), slagging off her boyfriend and slagging off their other friend and, now that I've looked at the house, half the stuff I asked for hasn't been done! It wouldn't be so bad if I was feeling like myself but, having recently given birth, I'm in a bit of a hormonal state.

This woman came to visit us around Christmas with my hubby's friend and she wasn't pleasant. Sat for most of the night talking about snobs who own their own house (eh, like us?).

Think I'll need to just continue not doing my housework on my own

[Isis]

Originally Posted by Tiger Feet

I'll need to just continue not doing my housework on my own

Sounds like a nightmare! How about trying a different firm? (and telling everyone in the entire village never to use this one).

[Twirly]

Originally Posted by Isis

Sounds like a nightmare! How about trying a different firm? (and telling everyone in the entire village never to use this one).

Absolutely. Ensure that no-one else hires them, and that her reputation is tarnished. I'd report back to the firm as well, complain like hell and refuse to pay the full amount since the full job didn't get done. That was appalling behaviour.

Can you ask around the village and see if anyone can recommend a cleaner?

And whatever happens, don't beat yourself up about whatever state your home is in. It's no-one's business but yours, and we're all good at different things.

[Yliander]

Originally Posted by Tiger Feet

So, I was a bit shocked when the girlfriend of one of my husbands friends turned up. She's a horror! She was in every room, even the rooms I'd told them not to open (not cleaning, just noseying). She spent part of the hour making comments to her partner like 'When my kids were little, I would never leave things like this...blah...blah'. She stood around for ten minutes slagging off my husband (for working away), slagging off her boyfriend and slagging off their other friend and, now that I've looked at the house, half the stuff I asked for hasn't been done!

Ring the company and register a complaint!

* for entering areas of the house that were not to be entered
* for work not done
* for inapppropirate chatter

If work requested hasn't been done then the company hasn't up held their side of the bargin.

you could also request that that particular woman not be sent to you again

and then change companies if you don't like the response you get


- best cleaner my mum ever had was through word of mouth - maybe ask around ...

sorry it was such a terrible experience for you

[Dreadful Scathe]

Originally Posted by Twirly

There are plenty of fathers out there whom I’m sure would dearly love to drop work for one or two days a week to spend more time with their children. But it’s frowned upon, particularly for men.

It is? maybe some places, but who cares if people are frowning at you ? Hitting me with sticks - now I'd be more concerned about THAT

Originally Posted by Twirly

There is, I believe, also some evidence to show that children who go to good nursery schools learn faster and have better social skills than children who have stay-at-home parents. So it’s not all bad.

But surely you try to get them into a nursery school when they are old enough to go anyway but are still, in the main, a stay at home parent.

Originally Posted by Twirly

So should your marriage break down, your partner die or become disabled and you suddenly have to become the major earner in the household, you’ll find it extremely difficult.

All too often absent fathers leave the family home and try to keep up the pretence of being "good" fathers by demanding the children when it suits their social schedule whilst trying to get as much cash out of the ex as legally possible. It would be nice if the children came first . One story I'm thinking of had the husband, who had at least one and possibly many more affairs, walk out on his wife and three children, only to then demand the "too big" 4 bedroom house be sold so he could get halve the proceeds. The wife pointed out that it was in a good catchement area for a good school that 2 of the children already went to, and that him leaving is hardly likely to affect the number of rooms needed. Luckily, the courts agreed.
If you want to leave, you have your reasons, that's fine - but realise that money should go INTO the house for the children not OUT of the house to support your new single life.

Originally Posted by Cruella

What I can't understand is those that have children and could afford to live on one wage comfortably, but choose to have them and then go back to work full time within weeks of the birth. Get someone else to nurture their children and sometimes be there to put them to bed. What is the point of having kids if you are not going to be there to be a mother to them?

Thats weird to me too - chasing money or a career at the expensive of family life makes me wonder why some people bother.

Originally Posted by FirstMove

Now two people need to work to run a household and the quality of life is no better.

Quality of life no better? Than when? where? Are you having a laugh ?

[Stuart M]

Originally Posted by Twirly

There is, I believe, also some evidence to show that children who go to good nursery schools learn faster and have better social skills than children who have stay-at-home parents. So it’s not all bad.

There's also evidence to the contrary: one study found that by the age of 12, the only apparent benefit of nursery education was a bigger vocabulary. More worryingly, several studies appear to show that the more a child goes to nursery, the more aggressive they become (good article here). There's an argument to be made that too much nursery is a bad thing, which personally I agree with.

Originally Posted by Twirly

There are plenty of fathers out there whom I’m sure would dearly love to drop work for one or two days a week to spend more time with their children. But it’s frowned upon, particularly for men.

Luckily enough, my employer is pretty on the ball with this, and I'll be dropping to a 4-day week. Hopefully my other half can too, but her employers are American owned, and therefore the phrase "work/life balance" is one they're still getting to grips with, to put it politely...

[Twirly]

Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe

It is? maybe some places, but who cares if people are frowning at you ? Hitting me with sticks - now I'd be more concerned about THAT

I was referring to career progression - there's a fear amongst those who view their working life as a career that taking time off to care for dependents (children, partners, parents) that they aren't committed and therefore not worthy of promotion. I think this attitude is wrong, but there many people whom it would influence.

Everyone has different motivations, and promotion might be for personal job satisfaction, but it might also be to provide a better standard of living for the family. Taking time out can frustrate in more ways that one.

[Daisy Chain]

Originally Posted by Genie

I'd love to be, if I had kids

I'd love to be a housewife (but without the kids). Imagine being able to go out dancing late on week nights without worrying about an early start to get to work the following morning.

I can just see me half heartedly flicking a duster round the lounge before doing what I want with the rest of the day.

Daisy

(A 9-5 Little FLower)

[Daisy Chain]

Originally Posted by Martin

When I was a kid...


Noone I knew expected to own thier own home.


Expectations have risen... so 2 people go out to work in a family, for stuff that, is just stuff...

So housewifes can be housewifes... if they choose to be.
It is only materialism and not basic survival that stops them.

... and like most of my school friends, I had to share a bedroom with my sister. There was none of this separate bedroom for each child lark

Daisy

(A Nostalgic Little FLower)