embarrasing lines

[Clive Long]

First dates are a source of cringe-inducing memories for me.

Recorded somewhere in North London in the not too distant past

... chat, chat, chat, smile, flirt, etc. ...

"Oh, so you are going to see your mother? She must be quite old?"

.... silence ...

... bugger, bugger, bugger ...

Shank's pony home tonight ...



Any other contributions to this hall of shame?





No, I haven't searched the forum to find out if this topic has been covered before

Clive

[Feelingpink]

Originally Posted by Clive Long

Any other contributions to this hall of shame?



Clive

First date with an accountant (slap me about the face with a wet haddock if I EVER go to do this again). First, a run-down of the number of suits he has and how they should be circulated to get the maximum amount of wear (sadly, I know all about this since in my distant past I have been out with someone who worked at Burberry's). We get lost and he has no idea where we are going, although he does remember the restaurant address (I navigate us there). When we are sat down and eating, he regales me with stories of his dairy allergy and complete, unedited details of what effects this has on him, with no "too much information" warning. I have to let him know that this is not a good time to tell me.

I'm listening to details of past holidays and redundancy packages when I find myself looking into his eyes and thinking "I'm so bored, I'm so bored, I'm so bored .... I know, I'll get drunk". I try a mouthful of the wine and realise that it is so bad that I can't drink it, much less consume enough to have any effect. This is the first time in my life I have had this problem.

The only good thing I could find in the evening is that it was so bad that it goes in my annals of stories I can tell when I'm old and incontinent, along with being attacked with a crystal vase by a crazed woman and interviews with INXS and Stevie Wonder.

[Minnie M]

Following on from FP's (poor you) post :-

My first date with Mr. X, (who shall be nameless) - I said "make it romantic"

So he made up a packed lunch complete with thermos, we drove down to Selsey Beach to watch the sun set

We ate the food etc., and chatted (yes chatted) till the early hours, however, it got very cold.

He tried to start the car to get some heat going - it wouldn't start AND the only phone near by (about half a mile) was out of order. So he had to walk to find a phone to call the AA. He returned back about an hour later and then we waited another TWO HOURS for the AA to tow us back !!!

[CJ]

Originally Posted by Clive Long

Shank's pony home tonight ...
Clive

Shank's pony or ham shank?!?

[Clive Long]

Originally Posted by Ceroc Jock

Shank's pony or ham shank?!?

It amounted to the same thing

[DianaS]

Best line I heard was from a guy who had been really nervous about finishing with his girlfriend for the new love of his life. After completing his stumbling speech she replied "so I suppose a sh!gs out of the question?!"
It totally floored him

[Divissima]

Was going to post up my own, but thought better of it.

[Feelingpink]

I had the BEST chat-up line yesterday ...


We're walking back from a park, basking in the warmth of a spring day, not a care in the world and the very cute guy in question asks "Would you like to come and see my sunflowers?" It's the best offer I've had in a long time ... it just came from someone who has just celebrated his third birthday.

[David Bailey]

Originally Posted by Feelingpink

... it just came from someone who has just celebrated his third birthday.

Of course, you realise he was coached to do that by his Dad?

Not that I'd ever abuse the trust of my three-year-old. Oh no...

[Bangers & Mash]

My brothers little boy developed a liking for blondes at the age of about 5 and would always kick the football at them or over to them or more often than not through their picnic.

Obviously me and my brother would always rush over to apologise.