Oops - compensation

[bigdjiver]

I offered to move some old iron bedsteads for a friend. I have a little handcart. I contrived to put a scratch along someones car, bodywork and two doors.

I suspect that in the past that their kids are responsible for breaking one of my windows with a stone, and also for firing air-gunpellets at my house, so I am not particularly well disposed towards them. I was a just a little tempted to adopt the "what goes around, comes around" attitude, and say nothing,but that is not me. I am not in the least tempted to knock on their door and confess. I am considering stuffing some money into an envelope with an anonymous apology.

The car is worth about £3,500, and the paintwork is in quite good condition.

[Missy D]

Scatches happen all the time so i would not put any monies through the door or confess. I know i may sound dishonest but, i remember leaving a note on someones car to say sorry i bumped into it. There was just a little dent in the rear bumper yet they still took it through my insurance. I lost all my no claims bonus. Donate some money to charity if you feel bad. And yes i truly believe 'what goes around, comes around'.

[Cruella]

Sorry to get all moral, but i think you should confess. Two wrongs don't make a right! You said you 'suspect' that the kids did these things, so you are not sure! Even IF it was them, that is just an excuse for dodging out of taking responsibility for damaging the car. You will just feel guilty if you don't tell (at least i know i would.) Treat others as you would like to be treated, how would you be feeling if the table was turned?

[bigdjiver]

There have been decisions and developments. I am going to let this thread run its course before I divulge.

[Andy McGregor]

Originally Posted by Missy D

And yes i truly believe 'what goes around, comes around'.

So you don't want something to "come around" as a consequence of this scratch.

Being pragmatic, I'd confess to a neighbour that I'd scratched their car and pay for the repair. After all it's the neighbourly thing to do and it's not worth the angst caused the fear of discovery, worry and guilt, etc. Having said that, I probably wouldn't confess if it was a strangers car in a car park somewhere away from home.

The good news is that you won't lose your no-claims bonus because you can't claim on your car insurance as you weren't driving your car. You might be able to claim on your household insurance though.

I say confess. You'll feel better for it.

[Freya]

I say confess. If your in a deilema about it then it's best to have a clear conscience!! If you own up about it they might not get you to pay for the damage. People can surprise you. You have to live next door to these people after all you don't want to make life difficult for yourself!

Hope this poll helps you. xxx

[under par]

Confess (else I'll send my mates round )

[Swinging bee]

Originally Posted by under par

Confess (else I'll send my mates round )

Sound advice he knows what I know!

[DianaS]

Originally Posted by bigdjiver

I offered to move some old iron bedsteads for a friend. I have a little handcart. I contrived to put a scratch along someones car, bodywork and two doors.

I suspect that in the past that their kids are responsible for breaking one of my windows with a stone, and also for firing air-gunpellets at my house, so I am not particularly well disposed towards them. I was a just a little tempted to adopt the "what goes around, comes around" attitude, and say nothing,but that is not me. I am not in the least tempted to knock on their door and confess. I am considering stuffing some money into an envelope with an anonymous apology.

The car is worth about £3,500, and the paintwork is in quite good condition.

My son left his new car outside of my house When I came out the next day scratches were running down the two sides. I spent the whole after noon polishing it before I phoned him and explained what had happened. Apparently it happended the night before which is why he had left it outside mine

He thinks he know who has done it its the injustice rather than the scratches that cause offense. Confess. Let them know you did it. Tell them your sorry and polish it with wax and Tcut.
If they want money tell them you lied. It was one of their kids and you'd promised to take the rap and smooth things over if they stopped breaking your windows.

[stewart38]

post money through the letter box

it will pay for the repairs


he is happy you are happy

simple

[Dreadful Scathe]

scratch their front door as well

[Barry Shnikov]

I feel a lecture coming on.

As someone who had to spend £200 on having a car door mirror replaced last year because some witless pillock under the influence decided to clobber it as he was passing on his way home, and as someone who found his first real car (sigh) with a whopping dent in the offside passenger door, and a note under the windscreen wipers saying "Everyone here who saw me hit your car thinks I am leaving my name and address but I'm not", requiring me to replace the whole door, I have to say that the self-serving b0llocks I'm reading her just doesn't cut it.

We all have responsibilities to the other people in the society in which we live. They need us to behave appropriately just as we need them to behave appropriately. Otherwise, society fragments and it becomes every man for himself. In that sort of society, it will not be any of the people (I hope) who post here who will be better off - it'll be people like the Kray brothers. Read your history if you have any doubts.

Not taking responsibility for your actions is something we teach children out of. Kids will squirm, lie, throw the blame on someone else, cry - do whatever they can to evade responsibility for the problems they have caused. We know that this behaviour will not cut it in the big wide world, so we help them both to face up to their responsibilities and to cope with the fallout from facing up.

Determining the appropriate course of action towards your neighbour on the basis that you have suspicions about the misbehaviour of his/her/their children is the sort of thing that leads to escalating neighbour disputes that end up in years of discomfort for both parties.

Donating money to charity - that is just an enormous cop-out. If ones conscience pricks, one should ask 'why'? We shoudl do whatever it is that our conscience tells us to. The neighbour is not going to be mollified, if at some future time the truth comes out, by being told "I gave some money to Oxfam". So what?

I'm sorry Missy D had her unfortunate experience. But that's what the insurance is for - paying for accidents for which otherwise we might have no chance of compensating the victim. I honour her for her honesty after the action, but the conclusions she draws are wrong.

Sometimes, things happen to us which are insupportable. We just have to deal.

NB What a great thing to say about Forumites that most of the posts are calling for the best policy - honesty!

[ElaineB]

Please, please do the decent thing and own up!

I have had two incidents where my car has been damaged - one by some idiot who let a trolly go in a supermarket and the other road-rage (and the b*stard lied about it). Cost about £300.00 - TO ME!!!! THE INNOCENT PARTY!

On the good side, at various times, I have lost handbags and purses and luckily have had them handed in - I can only thank my lucky stars and the honesty of the people concerned.

Personally, I try to abide by the rule 'do unto others as you would have them do to unto you'.


Elaine

[Stuart M]

In a karmic sense, I suggest you take a sledgehammer to the nearest 4x4, and make a nice big dent somewhere near the rear light cluster. The rage work will ease your guilt, and at the same time it'll be revenge for me on the 4x4 tw£t who left a big dent in my car a couple of weeks back.

I know it was a 4x4, because it's too high up to be a sensible car. If I had my way, every 4x4 owner would be required to sit an off-road test. On a course which I designed with the mud pit accidentally made way too deep. Oops.

Rant over