Ever wonder....

[Gadget]

Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
So why is dyslexia so difficult to spell ? groan

...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
.....why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
.....why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing
liquid is made with real lemons?
.....why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
.....who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
.....why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
.....why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?
.....why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
.....why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?
...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
.....why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
.....why the words "STUTTER" and "LISP" are so hard to say if you suffer from either?

[Dreadful Scathe]

Originally posted by Gadget

...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

thats only on pasty white skinned folks - do red haired people have their hair lightened by the sun, ive often wondered?

...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Black belt mascara users can do this

.....why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

because they knew they were going to get that publicity and lots of begging letters of course - why would they advertise!


.....why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

cos it's latin for shorten and i dont understand irony

...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?

Because its an awful operating system. There more stupid things than that in windows . Theyre not the only company to succeed with rip off products done badly by using any means necessary - theyre just the best in the world at it!


...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

capitalist scum - lemon juice helps clean in dishwashing liquid and is needed but humans will drink any old nonsense as long as it has a picture of nice ripe lemons on the front, so the cheaper the ingredients the better


.....why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?

which man is this - and why does he have my money - stop thief!!


Why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?

Cats will eat any small thing that runs away from them and we don't have Twinkle Toes flavoured cat food now do we ?


.....who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?

talking dogs

.....why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

He swatted the misiklitos instead. They could breath fire so it was more annoying.


.....why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box ?

They do - but its so heavy its called a submarine


.....why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together?

why do they call them flats when they're not flat ?

[Gadget]

Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
thats only on pasty white skinned folks - do red haired people have their hair lightened by the sun, ive often wondered?

This is the Ceroc Scotland web site remember... red haired people in the sun tend to either become one big freckle or go a radioactive shade of red. Like most Scots, I have to tan to get to 'white'.

.....who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
talking dogs

Just think, all that time they were eating "Old and Inferior"...

[DavidB]

Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
Windows 98 ... an awful operating system. Theyre not the only company to succeed with rip off products

Apple comes to mind - ripping of the Xerox Parc interface.

[Dreadful Scathe]

Originally posted by DavidB
Apple comes to mind - ripping of the Xerox Parc interface.

true, but their practices havent been so bad since and everyone copied the windows system invented at xerox at some time.

Internet Explorer is a good example of Microsoft marketing machine at work. Did they invent a great browser, have they made great advances on the web? The story goes like this.


1.The World Wide Web is created in 1993 (ish)

2.Bill Gates says its a fad and is not interested

3.The world wide web becomes very popular

4.Microsoft buy a web browser from Spyglass

5. They call it Internet Explorer

6.They bundle it with their operating system, windows 98 and proclaim it cant be removed or it would break the OS (disproved in court during antitrust trials)

7. They introduce new functionality to the browser against the standards set out by W3C (world wide web consortium)

..which accomplishes...... the domination of IE as the browser of no-choice - and because it is the most used, many web sites make sure they work on it at the expense of other better browsers. Result - domination of the web market. IE is bad enough but Outlook Express is embarassing -people dont know any better but whats the common denominator about most newsworthy virus attacks in last few years - Outlook Express!

MS also have the cheek to proclaim MSN as the most popular web site when its set as the default home page for any new PC with windows .

for further interesting stories about MS - go to http://www.windows-sucks.com/
warning this websites real title is slightly ruder, as you'll see if you click above

I feel better now

[TheTramp]

people dont know any better but whats the common denominator about most newsworthy virus attacks in last few years - Outlook Express!

I hate to defend Microsoft, since they are indeed very sucky.

But I don't think that you can actually blame them for this.

The reason that it's the most targetted program by viruses, is because it's the most widely used program. If you were writing a virus, would you write it for a mail program used by 10 people, or a mail system used by 10 million people?

If another mail program was most widely used, then that would have been the one targetted, not Outlook.

And you can't even really say that they should have made it more resistant to viruses, since the people who code the viruses, would find some way around that.

Steve

[Dreadful Scathe]

Originally posted by TheTramp
But I don't think that you can actually blame them for this.

They thought it was a good idea to have emails automatically open in a window - thus running viruses like lovebug - nuff said.

They also introduced html to email! Thus doubling the space needed on email server worldwide and annoying everyone who doesnt use outlook.

buncha losers i tells ya

[CJ]

In fairly monosyllabic words for nincumpoops like myself:

what would be a better email program?

[Chicklet]

Originally posted by Ceroc Jock
In fairly monosyllabic words for nincumpoops like myself:

what would be a better email program?

you might be suited to RowlandHill051840....it's quite well established, can be a bit slow but the viruses aren't as bad.

[DavidB]

Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
annoying everyone who doesnt use outlook.

If the alternative is to use Lotus Notes, then I'll sell my soul to Bill Gates any day. We have several applications at work that no-one likes (Serena, EChangeMan, Tivoli) but it is Lotus Notes that everyone hates.

[TheTramp]

Yeah. We had Lotus Notes at work too. And I'll stick with Outlook Express over that anyday....

Steve

[Dreadful Scathe]

Originally posted by TheTramp
Yeah. We had Lotus Notes at work too. And I'll stick with Outlook Express over that anyday....

There are lots of better alternatives - personally i use Pegasus and have done for years - it wont do anything you dont ask it to do, but can still do a lot. Eudora is also okay if you like the look of Outlook Express. But there also very good email programs that came with Netscape, Mozilla and Opera browsers.

www.download.com will give a list of many free email programs that you may prefer to outlook express - after all, email are simply text messages, theres no kitchen sink involved and you shouldnt need a huge bloated progam just to deal with email .

(and yes some email programs sort out contacts/appointments for you but it depends what you are looking for)

[SwingSwingSwing]

..email programs.....pah!

Just telnet into your mail server and issue POP commands.


SwingSwingSwing

[Dreadful Scathe]

Originally posted by SwingSwingSwing
Just telnet into your mail server and issue POP commands.

We are all fussy about spelling in here though and POP cant even spell HELLO properly

[frodo]

Originally posted by TheTramp (About Outlook Express)
I hate to defend Microsoft, since they are indeed very sucky.

But I don't think that you can actually blame them for this.

The reason that it's the most targetted program by viruses, is because it's the most widely used program. If you were writing a virus, would you write it for a mail program used by 10 people, or a mail system used by 10 million people?

If another mail program was most widely used, then that would have been the one targetted, not Outlook.

And you can't even really say that they should have made it more resistant to viruses, since the people who code the viruses, would find some way around that.

Steve

This is a refreshingly reasonable point which is pretty valid (IMO) for a number of Microsoft products, which are unfairly criticised for the reason given.

But I have to say that Outlook and Outlook Express could almost have been designed to be vulnerable, the volume of problems are overwhelmingly a function of how the product is put together.

Even being charitable and disregarding the initial release of products, that they have done so little about it, and it has taken them so long can hardly make them less than culpable.

Just my two cents.

[Jon]

Originally posted by TheTramp
Yeah. We had Lotus Notes at work too. And I'll stick with Outlook Express over that anyday....

Having somehow missed this thread and being informed by Emma about it I feel obliged to respond.

Lotus Notes does far more than E-Mail it has a whole range of application development capabilities to produce very powerful workflow applications that help many large businesses run their company. Outlook, Eudora etc just do email and they do it well because thats all they can do.

I have been writing Lotus Notes applications for 10 years so I am a bit protective of it especially since I once worked for Lotus.

Oh and all these E-mail viruses that are around infecting company systems, funny it's only Microsoft Exchange users that get affected. I've never heard of a company using Lotus Notes Email being brought to it's knees by a simple virus in an email.

[DavidB]

On Monday we discovered the Lotus Notes interface within Outlook - so we can still use Outlook to read our email. Now we are a lot happier.

Sorry Jon - but out of 15 people who had never seen Lotus Notes before, not one of us saw anything in it we liked. Even the Linux fans said they preferred Outlook...

David

[Lou]

In a previous life I was a Lotus Notes developer. I loved to develop solutions with it (especially once they released Domino - I was a dab hand at creating web based issue trackers & forums! ) - however, I have to admit it wasn't set up to encourage the design of particularly easy user interfaces (sorry to drop into Geek Speak). But, actually, I now miss it! But I wouldn't have it as my e-mail client. Sorry!