Why not state the obvious

[Lounge Lizard]

Many silly things on lables - natural spring water that has been in french mountains forr 100's of years ...with a sell by date

Some others

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

what are your examples

[stompin' phil]

How many people push a door that says pull...and you've even read it before you do it!

Stompin' phil

[DavidY]

Originally posted by Lounge Lizard
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

Imagine the scene... you work in the packaging department of some food company.. with a big thick Quality Manual or some-such that says "Every food product must be labelled with instructions" and "Instructions should be in plain English". What else are you going to write...?

David
(Forever Pushing doors marked Pull...)

[bobgadjet]

Originally posted by DavidY
"Instructions should be in plain English". David
(Forever Pushing doors marked Pull...)

since when did American Airlines use "plain english", or should that be "plane english"

[bobgadjet]

Notice on a microwave
"do not place livestock inside"
Apparently this had been put on after a lady had won a suit when she wanted to dry off her little dog, and the dog exploded inside the microwave.
She won because it didn't say that you cannot place livestock inside.
Only in America

[Claire]

Unfortunately no matter how obvious this is I always get caught out.

Sitting in a restaurant when served with food and the waiter/waitress announces that the plate is hot. Why do I always touch it???

I can't help but touch it! Every time!

[Claire]

~grinning

and the "don't turn around"

How many of us immediately turn??

[bobgadjet]

A sure way of getting a parcel thrown around is to attach a label

"FRAGILE"

Why is that

[Tazmanian Devil]

Originally posted by Lounge Lizard
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

[Dreadful Scathe]

Originally posted by bobgadjet
Notice on a microwave
"do not place livestock inside"
Apparently this had been put on after a lady had won a suit when she wanted to dry off her little dog, and the dog exploded inside the microwave.
She won because it didn't say that you cannot place livestock inside.
Only in America

I think that one is entirely an urban myth, theres lots of them about but that one is particularly silly - exploding dogs indeed Even when lawsuits are quoted as frivilous though we sometimes get outraged by it all without being in posession of the full facts. i.e. The story about the woman who split coffee on herself and won a case against McDonalds for not warning her that it was hot...its true and also not frivilous at all...
read this for the full story

[DavidB]

Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
I think that one is entirely an urban myth

The dog is apparantly a myth. It was a cat...

Lawyer microwaves cat

[bobgadjet]

Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
I think that one is entirely an urban myth, theres lots of them about but that one is particularly silly - exploding dogs indeed Even when lawsuits are quoted as frivilous though we sometimes get outraged by it all without being in posession of the full facts. i.e. The story about the woman who split coffee on herself and won a case against McDonalds for not warning her that it was hot...its true and also not frivilous at all...
read this for the full story

Please re-read... :
I did put APPARENTLY, I didn't say I believed it altho it may seem that way.
I do know that if you put an egg in it's shell in a microwave it explodes, and having seen reports on some of the nonsense that comes from the USA, it is almost believable.

I wonder why that lady split coffee on herself

[bobgadjet]

Originally posted by DavidB
The dog is apparantly a myth. It was a cat...

Lawyer microwaves cat

Thank you David
seems even the legal profession thought it was a dog, initially

[Dreadful Scathe]

Originally posted by bobgadjet
Please re-read... :
I did put APPARENTLY, I didn't say I believed it altho it may seem that way.
I do know that if you put an egg in it's shell in a microwave it explodes, and having seen reports on some of the nonsense that comes from the USA, it is almost believable.

I did notice the word APPARENTLY but the story isn't true wether you APPARENTLY think it is or not - people on the forum need to be informed of your viscious lies

..and dogs are not made from eggshell

Originally posted by bobgadjet

I wonder why that lady split coffee on herself

She was a dancer and could do the splits. obviously, you pedantic loon you

[Martin]

Originally posted by bobgadjet
if you put an egg in it's shell

Lost me here - thought they already came in their shells???


As to LL's quote - On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

A very SENSIBLE one I think, considering my (looney) sister burnt herself by trying to get a last minute crease our of her top before going out. Yes that message might just have saved her...

[bobgadjet]

Originally posted by Martin
Lost me here - thought they already came in their shells???

Actually the shell only forms into a hard shape once it gets into the open air.

[Bardsey]

Originally posted by Lounge Lizard
Many silly things on lables

Excellent Post, LL

[Lounge Lizard]

why thank you, does that mean I am forgiven for song title...(young at heart)
pp

[Bardsey]

Originally posted by Lounge Lizard
why thank you, does that mean I am forgiven for song title...(young at heart)
pp

mmm not sure about that yet.... perhaps once you've met me you'll come up with another more suitable one....I Can't Dance could be a front runner

[Martin]

Originally posted by bobgadjet
Actually the shell only forms into a hard shape once it gets into the open air.

That chicken thing...

I bow down to your knowledge of all foul things.

Brings back memories of a friend who kept chickens and explained grafficly how she sorted out the chickens who were
"egg bound"

As to chicken stuff ... "A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion"