Forum Limericks - Page 2

**Aleks** · 29th-January-2004, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lory
There once was a girl called Rachel
who's big baggy knickers were hell
her boyfriend called Mark
kept his head in the dark
So Now she wears none I can tell

Good for her!

CJ · 29th-January-2004, 05:27 PM

Do what you want with your limericks,
I'll tell you a tale about stones and sticks.
They make break a bone,
but my skills I shall hone.
I'm a songwriter doing it just for kicks.

**Dreadful Scathe** · 29th-January-2004, 05:30 PM

There was a young lady called CJ
who fancied himself as a DJ
he'd play kylie and co.
the dance floor would grow
but the last song is always a replay

...did you see what i did there

er......heres one wot i wrote..

This dancer has a special skill
a leap, a lunge, a lovely twirl
when leading for that special song
they hope that they can do no wrong

the partner follows with growing joy
a picture face of sheer delight
the lower tempo, it was a ploy
the partners face looks up in fright

faster faster the tempo rises
dancing circles increase their sizes
the partner follows with trepidation
which plateaus out to true elation

upon the climax they stop, well spent
a musical freeze that was heaven sent
the crowds around cheer and shout
that was almost something to write home about

er..dodgy...
and, no..it is certainly not about MY dancing

*Sheepman* · 29th-January-2004, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisA
. . .
It’s years before I’m that old.

You realise it doesn't scan or rhyme don't you??
And now you're not getting that "don't write a poem" fee, but Trampy gets his fee, I think I'm in love

Greg

CJ · 29th-January-2004, 05:32 PM

5.9
5.9
6.0
5.9
3.2 (what can I say?? Was the Russian judge!!)

TheTramp · 29th-January-2004, 05:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sheepman
And now you're not getting that "don't write a poem" fee, but Trampy gets his fee, I think I'm in love

Awww

Steve

ChrisA · 29th-January-2004, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sheepman

You realise it doesn't scan or rhyme don't you??

You have to read it carefully to make it scan, but what part of Sheepy/creepy, entranced/advanced, fold/old are you suggesting doesn't rhyme????

Old and deaf, I reckon.

**Lory** · 29th-January-2004, 05:59 PM

There once was an old perv called Lurch
At hipsters is where he did perch

until Mr sheepy
Told old Mr Creepy
Lay off, or I'll give you the birch

ChrisA · 29th-January-2004, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lory
There once was an old perv called Lurch
At hipsters is where he did perch
until Mr sheepy
Told old Mr Creepy
Lay off, or I'll give you the birch

**Divissima** · 29th-January-2004, 07:38 PM

There once was a young man from Wembley
who'd attend any dancing assembly.
The ladies cried - "Will -
please give us a thrill
by making our knees go all trembly!"

-----------------
I thank you

ChrisA · 29th-January-2004, 07:52 PM

Certain dancers quite expert at wiggling
Have been known to subdue with their wriggling
Now immune to their charms
I need sound no alarms
Because now it just makes me start giggling

ChrisA · 29th-January-2004, 08:14 PM

Accusing our Nigel of mincing
Is not really all that convincing
With that hat on he’s sure
To get round the whole floor
With them all queuing up for his grincing

**Divissima** · 29th-January-2004, 08:22 PM

There once was a young 'ster of cool
Who danced like a music-crazed fool
All sleaze he abhored
But wiggling adored
and danced all the way to Blackpool.

Not one of my better efforts, sorry

**Stuart M** · 30th-January-2004, 10:32 AM

I know some MAd girls from Dundee
who're quite willing to jive, you should see.
They may not be drinkers,
but they'll show you their knickers,
if you're Franck, and it's your birthdee!

**Stuart M** · 30th-January-2004, 10:34 AM

There once was a smurf called D Smurf
who smurfed quite a lot in the smurf
he smurfed at the smurf
and smurf smurfy smurf
smurf smurfy smurf smurfy smurf smurf...

TheTramp · 30th-January-2004, 10:55 AM

Hmmm.

Don't give up the day job just yet Stuart

Steve

bobgadjet · 30th-January-2004, 01:51 PM

A Forum Tramp named Steve
Plays tunes to enjoy, we believe
He'll have us all know
That Mavericks won't show
On a playlist from his PC

A Minnie from Brighton, we hear
Is always full of good cheer
She'll soon get a card
To make travel less hard
And certainly a lot less dear

Ashtons Blonde bomshell named Lory
Could well be a barmaid from Corrie
On reading this cr*p
Will dish out a slap
So now is the time I'll say Sorry

Maybe more soon, if I survive

ChrisA · 30th-January-2004, 02:09 PM

A certain young dancer called Jayne
Had been up in Glasgow to train
Then southwards she came
In search of more fame
And Scotland’s loss was England’s gain

Jayne · 30th-January-2004, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisA
A certain young dancer called Jayne
Had been up in Glasgow to train
Then southwards she came
In search of more fame
And Scotland’s loss was England’s gain

Woo hoo! A limerick with "Jayne" but not one reference to rain or pain! Well done that man!

J

TheTramp · 30th-January-2004, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisA
A certain young dancer called Jayne
Had been up in Glasgow to train
Then southwards she came
In search of more fame
And Scotland’s loss was England’s gain

I refer the honourable gentleman to the picture, in the 4th post down, on this page...

broken heart

Steve

29th-January-2004, 05:27 PM	#22 (permalink)
CJ Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Fife. Posts: 5,026 Rep Power: 6	Hey, Trampy boy... Do what you want with your limericks, I'll tell you a tale about stones and sticks. They make break a bone, but my skills I shall hone. I'm a songwriter doing it just for kicks. __________________ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. www.readitandweep.net Risk more than others think safe; dream more than others think practical; care more than others think wise; desire more than others think possible.. ... then the Universe is yours.

29th-January-2004, 05:30 PM	#23 (permalink)
Dreadful Scathe Papa Smurf Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Planet Scathe Posts: 10,154 Blog Entries: 4 Rep Power: 7	There was a young lady called CJ who fancied himself as a DJ he'd play kylie and co. the dance floor would grow but the last song is always a replay ...did you see what i did there er......heres one wot i wrote.. This dancer has a special skill a leap, a lunge, a lovely twirl when leading for that special song they hope that they can do no wrong the partner follows with growing joy a picture face of sheer delight the lower tempo, it was a ploy the partners face looks up in fright faster faster the tempo rises dancing circles increase their sizes the partner follows with trepidation which plateaus out to true elation upon the climax they stop, well spent a musical freeze that was heaven sent the crowds around cheer and shout that was almost something to write home about er..dodgy... and, no..it is certainly not about MY dancing __________________ "defiantly a pork soared" -fletch "This is a discussion forum, not some sort of hippy poetry-reading commune" - TAFKADJ

29th-January-2004, 05:32 PM	#25 (permalink)
CJ Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Fife. Posts: 5,026 Rep Power: 6	5.9 5.9 6.0 5.9 3.2 (what can I say?? Was the Russian judge!!) __________________ Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. www.readitandweep.net Risk more than others think safe; dream more than others think practical; care more than others think wise; desire more than others think possible.. ... then the Universe is yours.

29th-January-2004, 05:59 PM	#28 (permalink)
Lory Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: North London Posts: 6,990 Blog Entries: 1 Rep Power: 6	There once was an old perv called Lurch At hipsters is where he did perch until Mr sheepy Told old Mr Creepy Lay off, or I'll give you the birch __________________ "If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine Last edited by Lory; 29th-January-2004 at 06:04 PM.

30th-January-2004, 10:32 AM	#34 (permalink)
Stuart M An Eclectic Toaster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Glasgow Posts: 1,884 Rep Power: 4	I know some MAd girls from Dundee who're quite willing to jive, you should see. They may not be drinkers, but they'll show you their knickers, if you're Franck, and it's your birthdee! __________________ Cycling Facility of the Month

29th-January-2004, 07:38 PM	#30 (permalink)
Divissima Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 1,461 Blog Entries: 8 Rep Power: 3	There once was a young man from Wembley who'd attend any dancing assembly. The ladies cried - "Will - please give us a thrill by making our knees go all trembly!" ----------------- I thank you

29th-January-2004, 07:52 PM	#31 (permalink)
ChrisA Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,830 Rep Power: 3	Certain dancers quite expert at wiggling Have been known to subdue with their wriggling Now immune to their charms I need sound no alarms Because now it just makes me start giggling

29th-January-2004, 08:14 PM	#32 (permalink)
ChrisA Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,830 Rep Power: 3	Accusing our Nigel of mincing Is not really all that convincing With that hat on he’s sure To get round the whole floor With them all queuing up for his grincing

29th-January-2004, 08:22 PM	#33 (permalink)
Divissima Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 1,461 Blog Entries: 8 Rep Power: 3	There once was a young 'ster of cool Who danced like a music-crazed fool All sleaze he abhored But wiggling adored and danced all the way to Blackpool. Not one of my better efforts, sorry

30th-January-2004, 10:34 AM	#35 (permalink)
Stuart M An Eclectic Toaster Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Glasgow Posts: 1,884 Rep Power: 4	On a roll... There once was a smurf called D Smurf who smurfed quite a lot in the smurf he smurfed at the smurf and smurf smurfy smurf smurf smurfy smurf smurfy smurf smurf... __________________ Cycling Facility of the Month

30th-January-2004, 10:55 AM	#36 (permalink)
TheTramp The Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Dundee, Scotland Posts: 10,492 Rep Power: 6	Hmmm. Don't give up the day job just yet Stuart Steve __________________ "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". (Attributed to Voltaire). Caveat: But reserve the right to tell you if what you say is a load of crap!

30th-January-2004, 01:51 PM	#37 (permalink)
bobgadjet Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: north bushey Posts: 1,189 Rep Power: 3	A Forum Tramp named Steve Plays tunes to enjoy, we believe He'll have us all know That Mavericks won't show On a playlist from his PC A Minnie from Brighton, we hear Is always full of good cheer She'll soon get a card To make travel less hard And certainly a lot less dear Ashtons Blonde bomshell named Lory Could well be a barmaid from Corrie On reading this cr*p Will dish out a slap So now is the time I'll say Sorry Maybe more soon, if I survive

30th-January-2004, 02:09 PM	#38 (permalink)
ChrisA Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,830 Rep Power: 3	A certain young dancer called Jayne Had been up in Glasgow to train Then southwards she came In search of more fame And Scotland’s loss was England’s gain

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