Why it's good to be a man

[ChrisA]

• Your last name stays put.
• The Garage is all yours.
• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can be president.
• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• You don't give a rat's **** if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
• The world is your urinal.
• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky looking.
• Same work... more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
• One mood, ALL the time.
• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
• You know stuff about tanks.
• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
• You can open all your own jars.
• You can leave the motel bed unmade.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat
• Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
• You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.
• You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He's mad at me."
• You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• You don't have to shave below your neck.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
• Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

[ChrisA]

And a few more...

• Movie nudity is virtually always female.
• Queues for the loo are are 80% shorter.
• Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
• You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
• Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
• You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
• You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
• If you retain water, it's in a bottle
• You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
• Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
• If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might have made a lifelong friend
• Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
• All your orgasms are real.

[Sparkles]

There are several of these that I would advise you not to believe.

S. x

[Yliander]

Originally Posted by ChrisA

• The Garage is all yours.

you want to bet

Originally Posted by ChrisA

• You can open all your own jars.

i can open all my own jars thank you very much

Originally Posted by ChrisA

• If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

you think

Originally Posted by ChrisA

• You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat

no male i have ever met!

[Groovy Dancer]

Originally Posted by Sparkles

There are several of these that I would advise you not to believe.

S. x

And why is that ? care to point them out?
ps here's another

KGD

[Sheepman]

Originally Posted by Groovy Dancer

care to point them out?

You don't think you can stop there do you?


Greg

[Sparkles]

Originally Posted by ChrisA

• Your last name stays put.
  Unless you're an obscure person like Prince (or is he the artist formerly known as Prince (aka 'squiggle') still?)

• The Garage is all yours.
  I don't think this is true unless you live in your own

• Wedding plans take care of themselves.
  Yeah, this you *wish* was true.

• You can be president.
  Why would you want to be?

• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
  So can girls

• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
  That's what you think.

• You don't give a rat's **** if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.
  I know several men for whom this is not true - and don't you feel good if someone comments on it and says how sexy it makes you look anyway?

• The world is your urinal.
  This is vile (but probably true, unfortunately)

• Wrinkles add character.
  Yeah, right!

• People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
  Not true.

• New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
  Rubbish - have you ever seen a guy's feet after he's broken in new climbing shoes - what a mess!

• One mood, ALL the time.
  Er, no, the moods seem to be: normal, vaguely happy, smug, p*ssed off, grumpy and (on rare occasions) angry. The only extremem on is the 'angry' on - that's why you think you can get away with this comment.

• Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
  Except for the one's where you're on the phone for 4hrs, yeah?

• You know stuff about tanks.
  Or you like to think you do!

• A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
  Also true of women.
  But I actually have a male friend who takes two suitcases for a weekend trip!

• If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
  If you were 34 and single I'd bl**dy notice!

• Everything on your face stays its original color.
  Except when it goes grey...

• You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat
  Have to agree with Yilander on this one.

• You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
  But you do anyway...

• You don't have to shave below your neck.
  But you do anyway (sometimes)...

• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
  Unless you're sophisticated (I'm going to get in trouble for that one, but no man in his right mind would wear a camel suit with anything other than brown shoes, and you can't wear brown shoes with black trousers and expect to be taken seriously!).

• Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
  Yeah, OK, you believe that if you want to, but it's not true.

• Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
  Er...

• You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
  If this is true, no wonder you're in shock when it happens!

• You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
  Not true.

• Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
  This is not a good thing.

• All your orgasms are real.
  Er...

There, satisfied now?
S. x

[Hamish_A]

Originally Posted by Sparkles

• You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

So can girls
S. x

[Gadget]

Originally Posted by Sparkles

There, satisfied now?
S. x

^ reason 143: it dosn't take that much to satisfy a man.

144: we don't have to always have the last word in a conversation.

[Lory]

You know stuff about tanks.
Like we're jealous

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat
Have you met Clive Long?

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
Thats just sad!

You don't have to shave below your neck.
Neither did the 'flamenco lady' on SDF?

Movie nudity is virtually always female.
Thank goodness for that!

Queues for the loo are are 80% shorter.
Now I'm jealous!

Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
Ahh but that can also be a disadvantage for you!

Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
No but we wonder about a lot of other things.

[El Salsero Gringo]

Originally Posted by Lory

Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
No but we wonder about a lot of other things.

No need to wonder Lory, just ask. Right guys?

And what's so bad about being 34 and single?

[Sheepman]

Originally Posted by Sparkles

There, satisfied now?
S. x

Um, no! On second thoughts you should have "stopped there!"

There's still a couple of Ers... I'm curious about...

Greg

[Commis Chef]

Originally Posted by Gadget

144: we don't have to always have the last word in a conversation.

Was it really Gadget who posted this comment?!

[Sparkles]

Originally Posted by Sheepman

Um, no! On second thoughts you should have "stopped there!"

There's still a couple of Ers... I'm curious about...

Greg

I knew you were going to make me explain those...

Originally Posted by ChrisA

• Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
  Well, if you're alive and not on a drip in hospital, then we don't have to wonder because we know that you swallow (it's very useful for re-hydrating and taking in nourishment
  But if you're going to be rude about it, you obviously don't know many gay men...

• All your orgasms are real.
  I've had a couple of guys in the past admit to me that, while he was with a girl (not me, I hasten to add), he 'faked it' just so that it would be over (apparently she wasn't particularly good). I felt quite sorry for them really

Originally Posted by El Salsero Gringo

And what's so bad about being 34 and single?

Nothing at all

Originally Posted by Lory

Movie nudity is virtually always female.
Thank goodness for that!

S. x

[Sheepman]

Originally Posted by Sparkles

I've had a couple of guys in the past admit to me that, while he was with a girl (not me, I hasten to add), he 'faked it' just so that it would be over (apparently she wasn't particularly good). I felt quite sorry for them really

Sounds like a question for a poll to me ...

Greg