The Forum story so far...

[Franck]

... he realised his latest Algerian remix was actually the "blue" cd from Shania's latest album!
Without hesitation, he started his ibook, connected his ipod and started a new thread on the Forum!
This was the moment his trusted sidekick...

[Curtain]

Dillon the Rabbit (from The Magic Roundabout) escorted Lorna to the psychiatrist for her monthly "check up". Although Bill was the most prolific client at the clinic, Lorna had a good relationship with Dr. Barney McGrew and worked through a lot of her microphone problems with him. Dillon had done his job, but reported back to Franck with some terrible news ...

[Graham]

..... - Erick had found out about his dastardly scheme, and had quickly created some new Ceroc rules to outlaw the use of robot DJs. With his plan in tatters, Franck once again turned his mind to Bill, and dashing into a wardrobe, emerged in his green tights and horribly clashing cerise cape. Throwing open the window he leaped out before he remembered that flying wasn't actually one of his superpowers, but by a bizarre coincidence his fall was broken by.....

[Jayne]

...the knicker elastic of his pants (which he was wearing outside of his tights) on the bathroom overflow pipe from the downstairs flat. It was a sight to behold! Surely SuperFranck wouldn't meet his untimely demise by falling 20 storeys into a skip filled with cardboard boxes. Or would he????...

[TheTramp]

...Meanwhile, down on the ground, a young boy looked up. 'Mama', he said. 'Is it a bird, or is it a plane?'. His mother looked up. 'No', she replied. 'I think it's a zeppelin'. At that moment...

[John S]

oops, edited quickly as The Tramp got in first - surprise, surprise!!!


ÉÉas Franck gently swung in the breeze, he gave a low moan as he saw Barbara at the window, holding a pair of scissors. "OK, Fly-boy, she cackled - let's see how good you are now at air steps." She was about to cut through the elastic and send Franck crashing to his doom when ÉÉ

[Franck]

... Sheena bounced up and rescued the hapless super-hero, leading him to Led Zeppelin's Stairway to heaven (and all that time he had thought it was a ladder in her tights).
When they got there...

[TheTramp]

Sorry John

Steve

[Curtain]

... the dancefloor was packed with what appeared to be packets of pork scratchings, stacked ten foot high. Never such a bizarre sight had been seen before on these shores, only Franck knew what to do. He turned to the only person he could ...

[Fran]

think of in such a dance disaster - his identical twin brother, who being a tad peckish scoffed the lot. Upon finishing he gently wiped his mouth with napkin, drank a few pints of water and proceeded to show the gathered audience how he could strut his stuff on the floor just as much as his" favoured brother" with sheena and Lisa - doing a spectacular......

[Bill]

double trouble routine knowing it would annoy his brother who didn't like that double trouble stuff too much.

But he was aware of more and more women joining the dance and suddenly there they all were.Lorna. Sheena and the MAD crew, Fran, Lily, Rachel, the Glasgow mob all with short skirts and wide eyes and big grins.

He looked puzzled when as the song ended they stood in a line and bent over raising their skirts. His heart pounded ( no wonder his brother loved this dancing lark he thought ) but as he looked at the upturned bottoms he realised that on each cheek was a letter and this was the clue someone in the audience had been waiting for. When he stepped back and looked at the bums he read.................

[John S]

............ "Here be Hidden Treasure".

Not quite sure what that meant, he stopped a passing Tramp, who was wearing a green zoot-suit and had a PC permanently strapped to his fingers. The Tramp surveyed the scene and immediately ...........

[TheTramp]

...fainted....

Steve

[CJ]

.....as he realised the "treasure" wasn't as well hidden as, perhaps, it could have been. Having been outed as Franck's twin, Jean-Claude knew there would now be no hiding place: especially as he figured he was the better dancer. It was of scant consolation to Jean-Claude that the shape of the dancers' collective bottoms closely resembled the map he tried to send Wendy all those moons ago because, after all,...

(sorry about puns, bear thing has obviously affected me. )

[Lou]

... Jayne had slipped her blindfold over his eyes and he could no longer see! However, he suddenly remembered he'd learnt Braille as a child, so he eagerly stumbled towards what he hoped was the row of girls, only to bump into....

[Franck]

...Lou!
Who had recently decided to move to Scotland, where she knew life (and Ceroc ) would be better.
Her shriek startled Jean Claude, who promptly...

[John S]

É clutched Lou ever more tightly (believing her bottom to be that of Wendy) and declared his undying love, as evidenced by the hundreds of French letters he had sent her. When Wendy denied ever having received these letters, Graham was forced to admit that he had intercepted them and conducted a statistical analysis (backed up by personal market research) which broke them down by size, colour, flavour, texture and durability. The results of this analysis would be displayed on the Forum and clearly showed that ÉÉÉ

[Curtain]

nine out of ten users swore by Ariel Automatic's "Whiter than White" promise. This astonishing revelation only confirmed what everyone had known for years - Gus's multi-coloured trousers could only be the result of some serious washing machine accident. Mortified by these breathtaking results ...

[Gus]

...washing machines across Scotland were systematicaly vandalised in vain attempts to re-produce Gus trousers. MEANWHILE ... Lisa (now back in her usual Hotpants and Crop Top) had re-aquired the original map and was follwoing its directions. It led her to place full of strange poeple, devoid of humour, warmth, manners and dance style .... a place so terrible that she knew only a warped mind would keep anything of worth down there .... yes ... LONDON! As she tried to blend in with the strange locals, eating jellied eels and drinking weak beer, she noticed..

[TheTramp]

... a strange tramp-like being...

Steve