Jokes - Page 16

**Bardsey** · 5th-December-2003, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by psyc0diver
Cows used To Explain World Ideologies

Moooo!

Crikey! I fell asleep twice whilst reading this.... I need a cuppa now..... errr....got any milk?

Dave Hancock · 5th-December-2003, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bardsey
Crikey! I fell asleep twice whilst reading this.... I need a cuppa now..... errr....got any milk?

Jill, that joke was udder p!sh!!

psyc0diver · 5th-December-2003, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dave Hancock
Jill, that joke was udder p!sh!!

Quit beefing you two

**Bardsey** · 5th-December-2003, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dave Hancock
Jill, that joke was udder p!sh!!

Don't get in a flap! I'll try and think of anudder in a minute.

psyc0diver · 5th-December-2003, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bardsey
Don't get in a flap! I'll try and think of anudder in a minute.

that wasnt any butter than the last

Dave Hancock · 5th-December-2003, 04:23 PM

Additional cow corporations:-

Swedish Corporation
You use the cows in your porn movie.

Iraqi Corporation
You have no cows. UN inspectors confirm you have no cows. America invades, claiming you have udders of mass destruction and steal all your milk.

**Bardsey** · 5th-December-2003, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by psyc0diver
that wasnt any butter than the last

No it was a bit cheesy I agree

**Bardsey** · 5th-December-2003, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dave Hancock
Additional cow corporations:-

Swedish Corporation
You use the cows in your porn movie.

Iraqi Corporation
You have no cows. UN inspectors confirm you have no cows. America invades, claiming you have udders of mass destruction and steal all your milk.

Nice One!

Irish Corporation#
Ah bejasus! I'm sure we had a cow round here somewhere! Never mind, we'll have to have guinness instead of milk.

**Will** · 5th-December-2003, 04:28 PM

You'd have thought someone would have come up with a "Scottish Cow" by now !?

psyc0diver · 5th-December-2003, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bardsey
Nice One!

Irish Corporation#
Ah bejasus! I'm sure we had a cow round here somewhere! Never mind, we'll have to have guinness instead of milk.

well enough of this bull, I've herd enough. Time to put on my jersy & go home
TCOY

**Bardsey** · 5th-December-2003, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by psyc0diver
well enough of this bull, I've herd enough. Time to put on my jersy & go home
TCOY

I just know I'm gonna hate this.... but I have to ask....okay what does TCOY stand for?

TheTramp · 5th-December-2003, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bardsey
I just know I'm gonna hate this.... but I have to ask....okay what does TCOY stand for?

Take Care Of Yourselves??

Steve

**Lory** · 5th-December-2003, 05:07 PM

TAMPAX have announced they have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of Tinsel........

They say its for the Christmas period only!

Chris · 5th-December-2003, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lory
TAMPAX have announced they have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of Tinsel........
They say its for the Christmas period only!

Jive Brummie · 6th-December-2003, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lory
TAMPAX have announced they have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of Tinsel........

They say its for the Christmas period only!

Lory.... that's proper filthy...

.............I love it

ChrisA · 8th-December-2003, 10:42 AM

Girls, I require your attention!
We always hear “the rules” from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. They are all numbered “1” intentionally.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won’t dress like the Charlie’s Angels don’t expect us to act like film stars.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during adverts.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions - neither do we.
1. Men see in only 16 colours, like Window’s default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. (We have no idea what mauve is.)
1. If something itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act as if nothing WERE wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don’t mind that - it’s like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education

**Bardsey** · 8th-December-2003, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisA
Girls, I require your attention!
We always hear “the rules” from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. They are all numbered “1” intentionally.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions - neither do we.

Yeah right!

**Boomer** · 8th-December-2003, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ChrisA
Girls, I require your attention!
We always hear “the rules” from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side. They are all numbered “1” intentionally.....
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don’t mind that - it’s like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education

Who da man!?!?! He da Man!!! Big-up ta da Troofsta, keepin' it reeaalll

**Bardsey** · 8th-December-2003, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Boomer
Who da man!?!?! He da Man!!! Big-up ta da Troofsta, keepin' it reeaalll

My God, Boomster! You'll be walking round wearing bright yellow, wearing wrap-round shades and loads of bling next, saying "who's yo daddy? "I's yo daddy"

**Boomer** · 8th-December-2003, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bardsey
My God, Boomster! You'll be walking round wearing bright yellow, wearing wrap-round shades and loads of bling next, saying "who's yo daddy? "I's yo daddy"

Hey! Dat be bling-bling mama!.....What on god's earth am I on about?

5th-December-2003, 05:07 PM	#313 (permalink)
Lory Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: North London Posts: 7,064 Status: nervous Blog Entries: 2 Rep Power: 6 Rep.: 3064	TAMPAX have announced they have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of Tinsel........ They say its for the Christmas period only! __________________ "If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine

8th-December-2003, 10:42 AM	#316 (permalink)
ChrisA Registered User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,830 Status: No Status Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 852	Oldies are goodies... and it's Christmas, so what the heck Girls, I require your attention! We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. They are all numbered “1” intentionally. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Saturday Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won’t dress like the Charlie’s Angels don’t expect us to act like film stars. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during adverts. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions - neither do we. 1. Men see in only 16 colours, like Window’s default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. (We have no idea what mauve is.) 1. If something itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing”, we will act as if nothing WERE wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or cars. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don’t mind that - it’s like camping. Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education

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5th-December-2003, 04:23 PM	#306 (permalink)
Dave Hancock The Original Scooby Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 851 Status: No Status Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 223	Additional cow corporations:- Swedish Corporation You use the cows in your porn movie. Iraqi Corporation You have no cows. UN inspectors confirm you have no cows. America invades, claiming you have udders of mass destruction and steal all your milk.

5th-December-2003, 04:28 PM	#309 (permalink)
Will Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: London Posts: 1,422 Status: No Status Rep Power: 4 Rep.: 557	You'd have thought someone would have come up with a "Scottish Cow" by now !?

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