Scottish Charity Champs
Edinburgh: Sat. 18/10/08
(with Pre-Champs Party on Friday 17th October)
Ceroc Scotland Homepage
| Ceroc Scotland Homepage | |
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| Fun and Games A special area for games, jokes, quizzes, flash games, etc... Nothing to do with dance (usually), but a great way to waste time :D |
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- Residential Focus BLUES Week-ender 5th/7th September. Friday, Saturday & Sunday parties open to everyone... With extra Blues Room on the Saturday night. - Utopia Scotland Week-end: 27th/28th Sept. Edinburgh. @ St Stephens, Stockbridge,Edinburgh. A Special week-end of Blues workshops and Utopia party nights + tea-dance with Guest teachers/DJ: Val & Dave. Upgrade your Forum experience, become a SILVER MEMBER! Benefits of Silver membership: - View what everyone is up to on the 'Who's online page, be invisible on the Forum, Create your own Blog, Join the Chat Rooms :) Remove Google Adverts, Filter new posts to avoid certain areas (e.g. Fun & Games, Chit Chat, Geek corner, etc...) when searching new posts, choose a custom avatar and have a Signature! Join today from as little as £6.00 |
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22nd-January-2004, 04:36 PM
| #441 (permalink) |
| The Forum Legend  Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Dundee, Scotland
Posts: 10,496
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 6 Rep.: 1710   | 323.5  Steve
__________________ "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". (Attributed to Voltaire). Caveat: But reserve the right to tell you if what you say is a load of crap!  |
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22nd-January-2004, 04:43 PM
| #443 (permalink) |
| Papa Smurf  Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Planet Scathe
Posts: 10,226
Status: hidden from Lou
Blog Entries: 4 Rep Power: 7 Rep.: 2399 | show offs  still not beaten that 
__________________ "defiantly a pork soared" -fletch "This is a discussion forum, not some sort of hippy poetry-reading commune" - TAFKADJ |
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22nd-January-2004, 04:48 PM
| #444 (permalink) | |
| Senior Member  Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Leeds
Posts: 1,596
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 50 | Quote:
__________________ "No chance to romance, so I'll just have to dance"! | |
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22nd-January-2004, 05:01 PM
| #446 (permalink) |
| The Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Dundee, Scotland
Posts: 10,496
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 6 Rep.: 1710 | Sure. What do you use to get your screen grab then? Steve
__________________ "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". (Attributed to Voltaire). Caveat: But reserve the right to tell you if what you say is a load of crap! |
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22nd-January-2004, 05:40 PM
| #447 (permalink) | |
| Registered User  Join Date: Sep 2003
Posts: 3,830
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 852 | Quote:
I wouldn't know how to do it on one of those toy 'puters that Franck uses.  I was only kidding, tho. I don't think you're the type to cheat... Chris | |
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22nd-January-2004, 07:43 PM
| #448 (permalink) |
| The Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Dundee, Scotland
Posts: 10,496
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 6 Rep.: 1710 | A state trooper was driving along in the country when he noticed a small black coupe swerving all over the lonely back road. He put on his flashers and pulled the car over. Hopping out of his cruiser, he then approached the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The blonde replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener." Steve
__________________ "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". (Attributed to Voltaire). Caveat: But reserve the right to tell you if what you say is a load of crap! |
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23rd-January-2004, 12:50 AM
| #449 (permalink) | |
| Omnipresent Administrator  Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,783
Status: getting ready for Edinburgh tonight!
Blog Entries: 2 Rep Power: 10 Rep.: 1552 | Quote:
on a mac... just click and drag the picture to the desktop... that's it! 
__________________ Franck. Pourquoi tant de haine? Parce que si peu d'amour... | |
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23rd-January-2004, 10:17 AM
| #450 (permalink) | |
| Registered User  Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Aberdeen
Posts: 115
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 10 | Quote:
Nickolas Hall, an expert in psychobiology. He gave an example of a coping skill for job stress which I would like to share with you. When you have had one of those "TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT!" days, try this: On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip. Be very sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bed side table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it, you will notice, in small print, the proud quality statement that "Every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested." Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, "I am SO glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip company!"  | |
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23rd-January-2004, 12:07 PM
| #451 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Leeds
Posts: 1,596
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 50 | A simple mistake??? Gross!! When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
__________________ "No chance to romance, so I'll just have to dance"! |
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23rd-January-2004, 12:24 PM
| #452 (permalink) | |
| The Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Dundee, Scotland
Posts: 10,496
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 6 Rep.: 1710 | Quote:
Steve
__________________ "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". (Attributed to Voltaire). Caveat: But reserve the right to tell you if what you say is a load of crap! | |
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24th-January-2004, 10:11 AM
| #453 (permalink) |
| Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: .
Posts: 242
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 0 | SLEEPING IN CHURCH One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea", said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In the church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed."Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that dammned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!" "Amen," replied the congregation. |
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6th-February-2004, 07:57 AM
| #455 (permalink) |
| The Forum Legend Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Dundee, Scotland
Posts: 10,496
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 6 Rep.: 1710 | Bumper Stickers -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honk! If you want to see my finger -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Constipated People Don't Give A Crap. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honk If Anything Falls Off. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank You For Pot Smoking. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Horn Broken... Watch For Finger. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off... [Seen On The Back Of A Biker's Vest] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fight Crime: Shoot Back! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside Down,On A Land Rover] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ax Me About Ebonics. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Boldly Going Nowhere. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cat: The Other White Meat. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peta - People Eating Tasty Animals. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Caution - Driver Legally Blonde! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You! Out Of The Gene Pool! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Illiterate? Write For Help. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Earth Is Full - Go Home. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Honk if you love peace and quiet. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Keep honking...I'm reloading. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather...Not screaming and yelling, like the passengers in his car. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God must love stupid people; He made so many. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I took an IQ test and the results were negative. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- CONSCIOUSNESS: That annoying time between naps. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's lonely at the top, but you eat better. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Where there's a will, I want to be in it. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The more you complain, the longer God makes you live. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Out of my mind...Back in five minutes -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Damned if I do, damned if I don't...so damnit I will! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Accountants don't die they just lose there balance. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sometimes I wake up grumpy, Other times I let her sleep. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Steve
__________________ "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it". (Attributed to Voltaire). Caveat: But reserve the right to tell you if what you say is a load of crap! |
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6th-February-2004, 12:36 PM
| #457 (permalink) | |
| Registered User  Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: north bushey
Posts: 1,189
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 133 | Quote:
 but I cant get the penguin game to load I get a Quicktime logo on a broken filmstrip every time I load. I WANNA PLAY, and I WANNA PLAY NOW  | |
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11th-February-2004, 12:46 PM
| #458 (permalink) |
| Senior Member Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Leeds
Posts: 1,596
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 50 | Date Rape Well observed!! WARNINGPolice are warning all men who frequent clubs, plus party-goers and unsuspecting pub regulars, to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.A date rape drug on the market called "beer" is used by many females to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps and in large kegs. "Beer" is used by female sexual predators at parties and in bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them.Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of "beer" and then simply asks him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several "beers" men will often succumb to the desire to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.After drinking "beer" men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that something bad occurred.At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings in a familiar scam known as a "relationship". It has been reported that, in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment known as "marriage".Apparently men are much more susceptible to this scam after "beer" is administered and sex offered by the predatory female.Please show this warning to every male you know!However, if you fall victim to this insidious "beer" and the predatory women administering it, there are male support-groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys.For the support group near you just look up "Golf Courses" in the Yellow Pages!!
__________________ "No chance to romance, so I'll just have to dance"! |
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11th-February-2004, 02:28 PM
| #459 (permalink) | |
| Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: north bushey
Posts: 1,189
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 133 | Re: Re: Re: Penis envy? - fear not Quote:
 now THAT's funny  | |
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11th-February-2004, 02:46 PM
| #460 (permalink) | |
| Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: north bushey
Posts: 1,189
Status: No Status
Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 133 | Quote:
A guy answers an add in a local shop window "Handy man required for small jobs around the house", so he applies. He rings the bell at the house and a woman answers the door with a phone in her hand. He tells why he is there and she says "Well I'm on the phone right now, can you sweep the front yard while I finish this call" "Oh, I couldn't do that as the dust will get on my chest" "OK, pop round tha back then, and mow the lawn, I'll be done in a minute" "Well, I would, omnly with my hayfever....." "Right" she said "Get that bucket of water and clean the windows then" "I'd love to, but with my vertigo I could only do the ones on the groun floor" "Look" she said "you can't do anything I've asked, so why did you apply for the job as a Handy Man" "Well" he said "I only live across the road, and you can't get much handier than that" | |
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