Mad experiments you wish you could carry out

[clevedonboy]

Chatting with a work mate today.

We were discussing how a cat could jump from an upstairs window and not hurt itself (another story).

I got to remembering Terminal Velocity calculations having one of the variables being density & postulated that if you threw a cat and a person (without parachute) out of a plane, the cat would hit the ground after the person - the cat having a lower density. We concluded that this would not be a "fair test" but that we should throw out two cats from the same litter one who was shaved the other not, with a follow up experiment of two shaved cats but one greased to lower their reisistance through the air. Of course the experiment would have to be repeated many times to validate the results (can you tell that I don't like cats?)

Do you think we could apply for funding?

Anyone else got alternatives? they're always complaining that there aren't enough free thinkers in this country

[ChrisA]

Originally Posted by clevedonboy

Anyone else got alternatives? they're always complaining that there aren't enough free thinkers in this country

I'd like to eliminate the common cold.

By grounding everyone that gets one for long enough for them to recover from it without spreading it around - the rate of reinfection would eventually become small enough for it to die out.

[Gill (Norwich)]

Well I want someone to put some research and development into a skirt that flares and twirls to accentuate my dancing (and my legs ) but that won't show my knickers
I am sure it can be done.

[David Franklin]

Originally Posted by clevedonboy

I got to remembering Terminal Velocity calculations having one of the variables being density

I think you misremember - the air density may be relevant, but not that of the object. For the object, the relevant "ratio" is mass / (cross sectional area). Density is mass / volume. Common experience tells us a small object (dust) has much lower terminal velocity than a large object of similar density (clod of earth).

[David Franklin]

Originally Posted by Gill (Norwich)

Well I want someone to put some research and development into a skirt that flares and twirls to accentuate my dancing (and my legs ) but that won't show my knickers

I have found a marvelous solution to this problem, but unfortunately the margin of this post is too small to contain it. However, you may wish to consider the analogous problem of the Emperor's new clothes.

[Gill (Norwich)]

Originally Posted by David Franklin

I have found a marvelous solution to this problem, but unfortunately the margin of this post is too small to contain it. However, you may wish to consider the analogous problem of the Emperor's new clothes.

[clevedonboy]

Originally Posted by David Franklin

I think you misremember - the air density may be relevant, but not that of the object. For the object, the relevant "ratio" is mass / (cross sectional area). Density is mass / volume. Common experience tells us a small object (dust) has much lower terminal velocity than a large object of similar density (clod of earth).

Not misremebering - you are right about the surface area being highly relevant but there is also an effect related to the buoyancy of an object in fluid dynamics (my brain hurts now just thinking about it at this level let alone the stuff we did 18 years ago) - falling through air buoyancy is a negliible factor but in fluids not so - three major things at work gravity weight (not mass) and friction.

But I'm not intending to start a debate on that subject

[David Franklin]

Originally Posted by clevedonboy

falling through air buoyancy is a negliible factor but in fluids not so

Seeing as you were talking about objects being dropped from a plane, I think it reasonable to consider the medium to be air rather than fluid!

Of course, the canonical cat dropping experiment is to attach a piece of toast onto the cat's back, and then butter the toast. Question, at what distance does the strong feline force (cats always land on their feet) overcome the weak bovine-substate-graviphillic force (toast always lands butter-side down)?

[Saxylady]

I believe it has been found that the cat does not land either way up - just keeps rotating in the air until it dies of starvation (as it can't eat the toast) at which point it loses its landing-on-feet ability and just falls with a bonk onto its side. But for the inconvenience of mortality it could be a solution to the world's energy problems.

Has anyone considered the question, if cats had opposable digits, just who would be chucking who out of an aeroplane?

[under par]

Following from comments in another thread(sorry don't know how to link!)

a MAD experiment I would love to try is to TRY AND PLEASE A WOMAN AND KEEP HER HAPPY



U.P.ducks for cover

[David Franklin]

Originally Posted by Saxylady

I believe it has been found that the cat does not land either way up - just keeps rotating in the air until it dies of starvation (as it can't eat the toast) at which point it loses its landing-on-feet ability and just falls with a bonk onto its side.

Nonsense - that's a write up by some theoretician who's not actually done the experiment. Real world tests showed the following results:

Drop over Axminster carpet: Cat evaluates expense of cleaning carpet, decides "end justifies the means", and takes the fall, rolling to avoid more than minor discomfort while rubbing the butter and crumbs in thoroughly. Relieves bladder at same time, as experimenter will feel too guilty to blame cat.

Drop over hard laboratory floor: By utilizing a really vigourous cat twist, the cat can dislodge the butter on the way down, causing it to fall unsuspected behind the scientist's right foot. Unencumbered by the butter, the cat is free to land safely on its own feet. The same cannot be said for the scientist after he steps backwards onto the butter.

Drop over electrified floor: Cat reasons, "Well, if the pink blob wants to up the stakes, it deserves what it gets". The 'drop' is somewhat ruined by 12 sharp claws firmly holding the cat onto the scientist. The cat then rapidly ascends towards the scientist's head, smearing his clothing and face with butter. Fortunately, any mess caused by the butter is soon hidden by the bloodstains. If the cat is sufficiently annoyed, once a safe surface to jump to has been located, a second bladder emptying can be used to complete the circuit between scientist and floor.

Has anyone considered the question, if cats had opposable digits, just who would be chucking who out of an aeroplane?

See above...

[Baruch]

Originally Posted by Saxylady

I believe it has been found that the cat does not land either way up - just keeps rotating in the air until it dies of starvation (as it can't eat the toast) at which point it loses its landing-on-feet ability and just falls with a bonk onto its side. But for the inconvenience of mortality it could be a solution to the world's energy problems.

A solution to this has long been known. If the cat is fed a liquid diet by tube, it remains free to rotate. This creates, in effect, a very simple perpetual motion machine.

Indeed, it is hypothesised by some that UFOs are in fact powered by huge banks of buttered-toast-and-cat arrays, and that the reason they are saucer-shaped is that they are fuelled by milk.

[Minnie M]

Originally Posted by ChrisA

I'd like to eliminate the common cold.

By grounding everyone that gets one for long enough for them to recover from it without spreading it around - the rate of reinfection would eventually become small enough for it to die out.

{halo shining} haven't been dancing all week.

[Saxylady]

Originally Posted by Baruch

Indeed, it is hypothesised by some that UFOs are in fact powered by huge banks of buttered-toast-and-cat arrays, and that the reason they are saucer-shaped is that they are fuelled by milk.

Which leads one to wonder if there is already a Tesco's in hyperspace.

[Baruch]

Originally Posted by Saxylady

Which leads one to wonder if there is already a Tesco's in hyperspace.

Well, they have to buy their milk, bread and butter somewhere....

[Saxylady]

So one mad experminent might be to build an alien trap on the moon baited with yellow-sticker milk, bread and butter then sit back and wait to see who comes calling.
(How long would it all stay fresh on the moon??)

Perhaps they already infiltrate Earth supermarkets - that would explain some of the characters you see.


Ah - flaw in plan, they might get suspicious if there's nobody on the checkout.

[Baruch]

Originally Posted by Saxylady

Ah - flaw in plan, they might get suspicious if there's nobody on the checkout.

Nah, just put up a sign saying "24h Tesco" and they'll assume it's the middle of the night, with only a skeleton staff. (We could even use a real skeleton in a spacesuit....)

However, as the flying saucers are buttered-cat-powered, wouldn't a trap baited with catnip be a better idea?

[Rhythm King]

Originally Posted by Baruch

Nah, just put up a sign saying "24h Tesco" and they'll assume it's the middle of the night, with only a skeleton staff. (We could even use a real skeleton in a spacesuit....)

However, as the flying saucers are buttered-cat-powered, wouldn't a trap baited with catnip be a better idea?

Do take this seriously, for goodness' sakes - they won't be able to smell it in a vacuum, will they.

[Baruch]

Originally Posted by Rhythm King

Do take this seriously, for goodness' sakes - they won't be able to smell it in a vacuum, will they.

Duh - aliens with super-advanced technology would have developed a catnip detector that works in a vacuum, of course!

[Saxylady]

Originally Posted by Baruch

Duh - aliens with super-advanced technology would have developed a catnip detector that works in a vacuum, of course!

I would think that the array of cats in the purr-pet-ual mewtion engine would form a mog-collective consciousness with amplified senses that could pick up the odd stray smell-molecules from lunar cat-nip floating in space, which, I gather, is not a complete vacuum.