Valentines Poetry

[Gadget]

Just in case you're stuck for what to write in your Valentines day card........These are entries to a WashingtonPost competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.

Thought that I could love no other
That is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
But I only slept with you, because I was pissed.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
two parts vodka, one part lime.

[Piglet]

I remember reading Valentines that my mother had penned to someone she had the hots for before meeting my dad:

Kisses spread disease its stated
Kiss me Ash I'm vaccinated

I was in fits cos I thought it sounded like she was drunk and was asking the guy to kiss her ass!

[Trousers]

Roses are red
Porn is blue
Thats what I watch
when I'm not with you

heard on Radio 4 - Gosh!
along with

Roses are red
Violets are blue

Why are they called violets then?