joke

[J-J]

The other day my neighbor, who is a bit thick, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy butI thought, what the heck, and I started jumping up and down along with her.

She said, "I have some really great news!"

I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy."

She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant!

I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told Her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier for you!"

Then she said, "There's More."

I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"

She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.

She said.... (You're going to love this! ...scroll down for answer )










"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both tests came out positive!"

[Clueless]

A man is walking through the desert when he spots this lamp and give it a rub. Magically a Genie pops out and says I grant you 3 wishes, and he says "I wish I was a billionaire" *poof* he's a billionaire

"Next" continues the man "I want to have all the sports car in the world" *poof* Ferraris and Lamborghinis appear at his house

"Finally" the man Goes on "I want to be irresistible to women" *poof*

He's turned into a chocolate bar.