Computers for muppets

**Dreadful Scathe** · 18th-July-2006, 02:14 PM

I thought it might be useful for some simple explanations of computing terms and technologies for our less IT literate forumites. Ill start, fellow geeks please add other posts on something topical/interesting or info on bad computng assumptions and the like. Keep it as SIMPLE as POSSIBLE. e.g.

The internet is lots of computers connected to each other so they can communicate. It started small in the 1960s and grew into what it is today. An ISP (Internet Service Provider) gives you access to it.

A personal computer can connect to the internet using a modem of some sort - a dial-up modem is slow and limited speed technology, "broadband" adsl or cable modems are faster but are limited by the ISP i.e. you pay for speed.

The world wide web is a collection of computers on the internet that show you web pages when you ask them. Email servers comunicate in a different language as do FTP (file transfer protocol) servers where you may have got files from in the past. Other servers can handle filesharing like Bittorrent, Limewire, eDonkey, Napster. Others can handle Instant Messeging. All use different languages but all are connected to the global internet so you can see them.

Firewalls prevent computers from seeing other computers, or let them have limited access.

..err..back to work

**under par** · 18th-July-2006, 02:29 PM

Not really being geeky.... here goes.

A mouse is an aid to navigate around the pages you are using on your computer. You can point and scroll.

How was that DS???

**Feelingpink** · 18th-July-2006, 03:21 PM

Damn! I thought you were going to explain whether Kermit and Miss Piggy were PC or Mac.

*straycat* · 18th-July-2006, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feelingpink

Damn! I thought you were going to explain whether Kermit and Miss Piggy were PC or Mac.

Don't think the muppets have ever been all that P.C.....

**Feelingpink** · 18th-July-2006, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by straycat264

Don't think the muppets have ever been all that P.C.....

Are you sure you aren't DS in disguise?

*straycat* · 18th-July-2006, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feelingpink

Are you sure you aren't DS in disguise?

Yes!
No.
Maybe?

AAAAARRRGGHHHH!!!!!!

**Dreadful Scathe** · 18th-July-2006, 03:45 PM

He's indecisive. Or is he.

Hey you ruined a perfectly pointless thread

UP: Pointing and scrolling are confusing terms if you dont already know what they mean.

LMC · 18th-July-2006, 03:45 PM

Considering the good job that you two are doing on this thread, you're Waldorf & Statler, surely? - which of you is which?

**under par** · 18th-July-2006, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe

UP: Pointing and scrolling are confusing terms if you dont already know what they mean.

Damn

... must try harder.... must try harder.

*straycat* · 18th-July-2006, 04:08 PM

OK. I shall endeavour to be serious for a moment.

Fear. Computers can smell fear. Show them the slightest uncertainty, and they will mercilessly destroy your life, and reduce you to a gibbering shrunken wreck that your own mother wouldn't recognise**.

Stray
** Except Macs. Macs are user-friendly. This means that they will give you a ten minute head-start

LMC · 18th-July-2006, 04:26 PM

I believe Etch-a-Sketch was mentioned during another recent PC vs Mac discussion. In case anyone takes up ESG's excellent recommendation, technical support here. Apologies for original mispost.

**Dreadful Scathe** · 18th-July-2006, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by straycat264

OK. I shall endeavour to be serious for a moment.

Fear. Computers can smell fear. Show them the slightest uncertainty, and they will mercilessly destroy your life, and reduce you to a gibbering shrunken wreck that your own mother wouldn't recognise**.

Stray
** Except Macs. Macs are user-friendly. This means that they will give you a ten minute head-start

But surely Macs are made of compacted bird poo? You neglected to mention THAT didnt you ?

*straycat* · 18th-July-2006, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe

But surely Macs are made of compacted bird poo? You neglected to mention THAT didnt you ?

Do you have a problem with ecologically friendly computers? Well? Do you? Do you?

(where's the damn' fisticuffs smiley when you need it?)

**SilverFox** · 18th-July-2006, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe

Keep it as SIMPLE as POSSIBLE. e.g.

Quote:

Originally Posted by DS

Email servers comunicate in a different language as do FTP (file transfer protocol) servers where you may have got files from in the past. Other servers can handle filesharing like Bittorrent, Limewire, eDonkey, Napster.

Server?? File Transfer Protocol?? Filesharing??

Was that your best effort at explaining something clearly??

Herein lies the problem. You geeks call ordinary folk 'muppets' for not knowing what the hell you're on about, when in fact you seem to have no grasp of the real world outside of yours. You concoct all this ridiculous terminology to a) try and elevate yourselves above us muppets; and b) get sexually aroused.

Why should us end user plebs know all this tedious crap? That's what you're paid for. Just make the damn thing work and SIMPLY! (not your version of simply, please....

)

When somebody orders a drink I don't expect them to know how it was made, what is in it, why it was stirred, what its constituent parts go well with, etc. That's the bartender's job.

Anyhow, while you geeky folk continue to crack a chubby over a load of silicon, I'll continue to crack a chubby over a 'different kind' of silicon.

**Minnie M** · 18th-July-2006, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by under par

Not really being geeky.... here goes.

A mouse is an aid to navigate around the pages you are using on your computer. You can point and scroll.

How was that DS???

I have a 'Minnie' Mouse (really)

it goes really well with my Minnie Mouse phone

**Lou** · 18th-July-2006, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverFox

When somebody orders a drink I don't expect them to know how it was made, what is in it, why it was stirred, what its constituent parts go well with, etc. That's the bartender's job.

Or maybe you could compromise & meet them half way. It's good to understand some basics.

For instance, if someone was to order a martini, but send it back because there was an olive in it - would the bartender smile politely & consider them a muppet?

**Dreadful Scathe** · 18th-July-2006, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverFox

Server?? File Transfer Protocol?? Filesharing??

Was that your best effort at explaining something clearly??

I did mean to put "(server)" after computer to keep it simple, but forgot. The other stuff, in context, is supposed to be clear that its not important. Theyre just names.

Quote:

You concoct all this ridiculous terminology to a) try and elevate yourselves above us muppets; and b) get sexually aroused.

Its hardly 50/50 - more like 20/80.

**Feelingpink** · 18th-July-2006, 09:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilverFox

Server?? File Transfer Protocol?? Filesharing??

Was that your best effort at explaining something clearly??

Herein lies the problem. You geeks call ordinary folk 'muppets' for not knowing what the hell you're on about, when in fact you seem to have no grasp of the real world outside of yours. You concoct all this ridiculous terminology to a) try and elevate yourselves above us muppets; and b) get sexually aroused.

Why should us end user plebs know all this tedious crap? That's what you're paid for. Just make the damn thing work and SIMPLY! (not your version of simply, please....

)

When somebody orders a drink I don't expect them to know how it was made, what is in it, why it was stirred, what its constituent parts go well with, etc. That's the bartender's job.

Anyhow, while you geeky folk continue to crack a chubby over a load of silicon, I'll continue to crack a chubby over a 'different kind' of silicon.

My! Who got into bed on the wrong side today?

**SilverFox** · 18th-July-2006, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DS

Its hardly 50/50 - more like 20/80.

The truth is out.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Feelingpink

My! Who got into bed on the wrong side today?

Wrong bed I think....

18th-July-2006, 02:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
Dreadful Scathe Papa Smurf Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Planet Scathe Posts: 10,202 Status: hidden from Lou Blog Entries: 4 Rep Power: 7 Rep.: 2394	Computers for muppets I thought it might be useful for some simple explanations of computing terms and technologies for our less IT literate forumites. Ill start, fellow geeks please add other posts on something topical/interesting or info on bad computng assumptions and the like. Keep it as SIMPLE as POSSIBLE. e.g. The internet is lots of computers connected to each other so they can communicate. It started small in the 1960s and grew into what it is today. An ISP (Internet Service Provider) gives you access to it. A personal computer can connect to the internet using a modem of some sort - a dial-up modem is slow and limited speed technology, "broadband" adsl or cable modems are faster but are limited by the ISP i.e. you pay for speed. The world wide web is a collection of computers on the internet that show you web pages when you ask them. Email servers comunicate in a different language as do FTP (file transfer protocol) servers where you may have got files from in the past. Other servers can handle filesharing like Bittorrent, Limewire, eDonkey, Napster. Others can handle Instant Messeging. All use different languages but all are connected to the global internet so you can see them. Firewalls prevent computers from seeing other computers, or let them have limited access. ..err..back to work __________________ "defiantly a pork soared" -fletch "This is a discussion forum, not some sort of hippy poetry-reading commune" - TAFKADJ

18th-July-2006, 02:29 PM	#2 (permalink)
under par Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Worthing Posts: 5,958 Status: No Status Rep Power: 5 Rep.: 2418	Re: Computers for muppets Not really being geeky.... here goes. A mouse is an aid to navigate around the pages you are using on your computer. You can point and scroll. How was that DS???

18th-July-2006, 03:21 PM	#3 (permalink)
Feelingpink Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Greenwich, UK Posts: 1,574 Status: Hours of editing photographs Rep Power: 3 Rep.: 1308	Re: Computers for muppets Damn! I thought you were going to explain whether Kermit and Miss Piggy were PC or Mac. __________________ Better too much than not enough - Luis Rodriguez

18th-July-2006, 03:45 PM	#7 (permalink)
Dreadful Scathe Papa Smurf Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Planet Scathe Posts: 10,202 Status: hidden from Lou Blog Entries: 4 Rep Power: 7 Rep.: 2394	Re: Computers for muppets He's indecisive. Or is he. Hey you ruined a perfectly pointless thread UP: Pointing and scrolling are confusing terms if you dont already know what they mean. __________________ "defiantly a pork soared" -fletch "This is a discussion forum, not some sort of hippy poetry-reading commune" - TAFKADJ

18th-July-2006, 03:45 PM	#8 (permalink)
LMC Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In the corner Posts: 4,508 Status: No Status Rep Power: 4 Rep.: 2319	Re: Computers for muppets Considering the good job that you two are doing on this thread, you're Waldorf & Statler, surely? - which of you is which?

18th-July-2006, 04:08 PM	#10 (permalink)
straycat Commercial Operator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northeastern Parts Posts: 3,769 Status: within operational parameters Rep Power: 4 Rep.: 1709	Re: Computers for muppets OK. I shall endeavour to be serious for a moment. Fear. Computers can smell fear. Show them the slightest uncertainty, and they will mercilessly destroy your life, and reduce you to a gibbering shrunken wreck that your own mother wouldn't recognise. Stray Except Macs. Macs are user-friendly. This means that they will give you a ten minute head-start

18th-July-2006, 04:26 PM	#11 (permalink)
LMC Registered User Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: In the corner Posts: 4,508 Status: No Status Rep Power: 4 Rep.: 2319	Re: Computers for muppets I believe Etch-a-Sketch was mentioned during another recent PC vs Mac discussion. In case anyone takes up ESG's excellent recommendation, technical support here. Apologies for original mispost.

18th-July-2006, 10:26 PM	#20 (permalink)
straycat Commercial Operator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Northeastern Parts Posts: 3,769 Status: within operational parameters Rep Power: 4 Rep.: 1709