Injured by a drop

[Daisy Chain]

Originally Posted by Sparkles

I'I think what you're doing is wrong', and for some of us shy, sensitive little flowers (where's Daisy Chain when you need her?) it can be quite a daunting prospect to say something to a guy

Over here!

Actually, I don't have a problem letting men know that they've hurt me. The involuntary squeal usually gives them a clue. Fraid to say that I'm a bit of a squealer

Daisy

(A Vocal Little Flower)

[jivecat]

Originally Posted by ChrisA

- reacting to unnacceptable behaviour should be a sliding scale, appropriate to the scale of the offence.

This is exactly what I wanted to say! Thanks for summing it up in one economical sentence rather than my pages of ramblings.

[Gus]

Some time ago we surmised that the only way to deal with drop-monsters was to slap them across the face with a wet haddock (forgotten the thread but it WAS funny at the time ... maybe you had to be there). Anyway .... I now realise I need such a weapon and I know who I need to use it on. Was teaching the beginners lesson last night when I a numpty sat out watching decide to 'teach' one the girls a new move he'd seen ... a ballroom drop. The fact that he would have been better off in the beginner's class learning to do his basics right was bad enough, what was worse was that he was doing this move between two sets of chairs and table where there was barely room to walk To say it was distracting is an understatement, I was waiting for her head to hit something and I nearly called him to stop from the stage but decided against it.

Later on words were had with him by the Venue Manager...but it still amazes me that supposedly intelligent people can this just because they've seen a drop a few times they can go and start teaching it to their mates ... especially the ballroom drop which I see as one of the potentially most dangerous common moves. Do people think that teachers just step off the floor and onto the stage with no training (OK ... some cowboys do). Teaching of drops is a serious business. I've been teaching for 5 years and there are still drops I don’t see myself as qualified to teach ... I leave them to the experts like Pete Phillips. Anyone had trouble with 'lay experts' like this?

[MartinHarper]

Originally Posted by Daisy Chain

Actually, I don't have a problem letting men know that they've hurt me. The involuntary squeal usually gives them a clue.

Just as well that nobody ever squeals with delight then, because otherwise that could get confusing...

[Zebra Woman]

Originally Posted by Daisy Chain

Over here!

Actually, I don't have a problem letting men know that they've hurt me. The involuntary squeal usually gives them a clue. Fraid to say that I'm a bit of a squealer

Daisy

(A Vocal Little Flower)

Over the years I have been working very hard on not squealing during star jumps ( the thumbs into my kidneys can really hurt, I don't like to be squeezed hard round the waist).

Anyway one time some macho guy put me into a star jump. I didn't squeal. He then picked me up and whizzed me round infront of him 360 degrees (a catherine wheel?) I still didn't squeal and was feeling quite proud. He then did ...I don't know what ...I thought I was going to die ...I really squealed. He was happy with that.

Since then I've gone back to squealing

ZW

[Jayne]

Originally Posted by Zebra Woman

the thumbs into my kidneys can really hurt, I don't like to be squeezed hard round the waist

Ah, yes. The old kidney gougers. I rarely hesistate in telling them that they're hurting me these days. I might need my right kidney one day!!

The other favourite is the inguinal lymph node gouger. I squirm out of their grip but rarely say anything. Do other people find that some dancers try to remove them for you?

J

(inguinal = relating to or affecting the region of the groin)

[DianaS]

Originally Posted by Jayne

Ah, yes. The old kidney gougers. I rarely hesistate in telling them that they're hurting me these days. I might need my right kidney one day!!

The other favourite is the inguinal lymph node gouger. I squirm out of their grip but rarely say anything. Do other people find that some dancers try to remove them for you?

J

(inguinal = relating to or affecting the region of the groin)

Can't say I have but I have had people hold my hand so tightly it hurts...

[Graham]

Originally Posted by Jayne

The other favourite is the inguinal lymph node gouger. I squirm out of their grip but rarely say anything. Do other people find that some dancers try to remove them for you?

I'm having a little difficulty working out why their hands are in this region at all - are we talking lifts?

[Jayne]

Originally Posted by Graham

I'm having a little difficulty working out why their hands are in this region at all - are we talking lifts?

Nope. I'm thinking of spins that are led from the lady's hips. I believe they should be led by using straight fingers - but some guys cup their fingers and gouge your nodes out.

J

[Graham]

Originally Posted by Jayne

Nope. I'm thinking of spins that are led from the lady's hips. I believe they should be led by using straight fingers - but some guys cup their fingers and gouge your nodes out.

J

Oh, right, gotcha. Perhaps teachers should include something on this in the class - "When I say take hold of the lady's pelvis, I mean the outside of the bone, not the inward-facing part"

[jivecat]

Originally Posted by MartinHarper

Just as well that nobody ever squeals with delight then, because otherwise that could get confusing...

Well, I think I sometimes gasp with delight. I'm almost sure it was on the dance floor. Squeals usually mean pain or terror.

[Divissima]

Originally Posted by Gus

Teaching of drops is a serious business. I've been teaching for 5 years and there are still drops I don’t see myself as qualified to teach ... I leave them to the experts like Pete Phillips. Anyone had trouble with 'lay experts' like this?

Oh yeah, all the time. I have encountered many men who think they can teach you a drop, lift or (usually painful) complex move, normally during freestyle. I have to admit these days I normally say I don't do drops or lifts with people I don't know. I guess I have become more 'difficult' over the years out of self-preservation. As a general rule, I don't greatly appreciate being 'taught' moves by freestyle partners. If it's leadable, then they should lead it, if it isn't or they can't, then I'd rather they leave it alone and lead something else.

[Feelingpink]

Originally Posted by jivecat

Well, I think I sometimes gasp with delight. I'm almost sure it was on the dance floor. Squeals usually mean pain or terror.

RANT: After a whole weekend of Rock Bottoms with no problems whatsoever (and my attempt to dance with EVERY man there) I found my first freestyle at Hipsters involved one dancer trying to bruise or break both my wrists and a knee and lots of drops. I screeched loudly and he didn't take any notice. When someone else later tried holding my wrist overly firmly throughout a whole dance and I said at the end he was hurting me, he explained it was a swing hold. I was glad I was in a position to say that I'd done a number of swing classes and NONE of them had leads in it like that! (If I hadn't, it would have put me off swing for life). So I've tried the subtle approach (screech) and the calm, assertive approach ... and neither seemed to have any effect. Sigh. Where's that wet haddock? RANT OVER

[Gus]

Originally Posted by Feelingpink

Sigh. Where's that wet haddock?

You dont need a wet haddock .. you've got Nigel .... urrrr... that didnt come out right I'm NOT implying that Nigel is a moist piscine, rather that if you informed him of these miscreants I'm sure he would find a way (subtle or otherwise) to rectify their bad habits. If the organisers dont know, they cant do anything about it.

[Feelingpink]

Originally Posted by Gus

You dont need a wet haddock .. you've got Nigel... If the organisers dont know, they cant do anything about it.

Ta. Next time I have the "joy" of dancing with this chap, I'll find someone. What do you do in your venue/s if you get a complaint like this?

[Debster]

Originally Posted by Divissima

As a general rule, I don't greatly appreciate being 'taught' moves by freestyle partners. If it's leadable, then they should lead it, if it isn't or they can't, then I'd rather they leave it alone and lead something else.

Go Div!

[Gus]

Originally Posted by Feelingpink

Ta. Next time I have the "joy" of dancing with this chap, I'll find someone. What do you do in your venue/s if you get a complaint like this?

Me?? I'm a total coward ... I send my Venue Manager in ... NO ONE argues with our Sheena Actualy, only had a couple of such incidents in tha last year ... I have a quiet friendly word wityh those concerned and so far people have listened to what I've said (and in one case not come back again )

[MartinHarper]

Originally Posted by Feelingpink

When someone else later tried holding my wrist overly firmly throughout a whole dance and I said at the end he was hurting me, he explained it was a swing hold. [etc]

Personally, I confess I do tend to have a quite defensive knee-jerk reaction to this sort of feedback, especially when it appears to conflict with something I've been (mis)taught elsewhere, or something someone else has recommended. It's only when I reflect later, after the heat of the moment, that I can really take on board what was said, and try to make sense of it in the context of other things I've learnt.

Please don't give up on your calm assertive approach, just because the immediate reaction isn't very encouraging. I'd bet that you had more effect than you realise.

[bigdjiver]

One thing I would like to add to this thread - If you do get injured please do let the injury heal properly before returning to MJ. I have seen two ladies suffer because they returned too early.

(I probably would not follow my own advice.)