Partners Partners Partners ???

[Paul F]

I hope nobody minds me starting a thread in only my second post but i would love to find out about partners!!!

I'm at the stage now where I feel that a regular partner would be a good thing to have.......but ......what is a regular partner???

Is it your 'significant other' or not?

Does everyone eventually get to the stage where they feel a dedicated partner is the way to go??

Will it improve my dancing??? I can only imagine that dancing with one person , say , 70% of the time may actually make you worse, im not sure.

You see some couples dancing in classes and they look awesome. Yeah, the man may be an EXTREMELY good leader and the lady an EXTREMELY good follower but it is more than likely they are partners.
Im not really interested in competition yet (not for some time to come).

On the flip side of this, do people look down on partners dancing in a class / freestyle environment??

Is it considered 'fake' leading??

I really dont know whether searching for a partner is the right way to go. I would love to hear other peoples opinions on this.

[Dreadful Scathe]

Originally posted by Paul F

I'm at the stage now where I feel that a regular partner would be a good thing to have.......but ......what is a regular partner???
Is it your 'significant other' or not?

Dancing more often with one partner will generally improve your dancing i find. Its irrelevant if that partner is your friend/girlfriend/spouse...I dont see how it makes much difference.

Originally posted by Paul F
Does everyone eventually get to the stage where they feel a dedicated partner is the way to go??

I doubt it, but if you want to enter competitions other than 'lucky dip' ones youll have to at some point. Id say that competing was the hobby of the minority though.

Originally posted by Paul F
Will it improve my dancing??? I can only imagine that dancing with one person , say , 70% of the time may actually make you worse, im not sure.

it'll be different for everyone. ive found more problems because ive been to a lot of different venues and learnt different moves - i mainly end up doing them with my partner as others dont know them (and my lead is sometimes not that great to try them - had a few partners in weird positions after they anticipated something they thought i was doing)

Originally posted by Paul F

On the flip side of this, do people look down on partners dancing in a class / freestyle environment??
Is it considered 'fake' leading??

look down? er..no. Turning down dances would annoy after a while i expect but no one i know ever turns down a dance - partner or not. Fake Leading ? Freestyle requires leading by definition - and although a regular partner may well anticipate moves, they would still be following at least some beginnings of a lead in order to anticipate.

Originally posted by Paul F

I really dont know whether searching for a partner is the right way to go. I would love to hear other peoples opinions on this.

unless you are going to be going to be competing, why should it matter? if there is a dancer you really 'click' with and the feeling is mutual just get talking to them and dance with them more. sorted

[Graham]

The main point of a regular partner is to practise things. For example, if you wanted to compete, then it's a good idea to get lots of practise with the partner you'll be dancing with. Also, if you are interested in trying out new style variations or learning new moves it can be helpful to practise with a regular partner, especially if they have been to the same class and have an idea of what they're supposed to do as well. And some things, such as jumps/drops, need to be practised with a willing volunteer.

You don't need a regular partner to practise with, in the sense that it doesn't always need to be the same person. However, from my own observation (as one who doesn't have a regular partner), I have the impression that people who do regularly practise together learn things faster and more easily than people who don't: for a start there's two of you to remember the subtleties rather than just one, but probably more important is the fact that you'll be able to give each other informed feedback.

Some people have a regular partner who is their real-life partner, but many of us have found that our real-life partner isn't a very successful dance-partner, as there is more of a tendency to fight about who's doing it wrong. So I'm told, anyway.

I agree that ALWAYS dancing with the same person will tend to disguise any bad habits in your leading, but you can still have a regular partner and dance with lots of other people - especially beginners, as they tend to highlight your weaknesses.

[Bill]

Originally posted by Graham
The main point of a regular partner is to practise things. For example, if you wanted to compete, then it's a good idea to get lots of practise with the partner you'll be dancing with.

I agree. It's fun dancing with lots of people but with one 'partner' you can spend more time learning/ improving moves. Although I still don't enjoy competing the one good thing in the past was that my partner and I had to get some practice in and for a while the number of moves I could do increased...........then I forgot most of them again!!!!!!!!!!!

Some people have a regular partner who is their real-life partner, but many of us have found that our real-life partner isn't a very successful dance-partner, as there is more of a tendency to fight about who's doing it wrong. So I'm told, anyway.

I've seen this happen as well.......bit like trying to teach a partner to drive ! My dance partner is now also my 'real-life' partner and we haven't really argued over moves.

I agree that ALWAYS dancing with the same person will tend to disguise any bad habits in your leading, but you can still have a regular partner and dance with lots of other people - especially beginners, as they tend to highlight your weaknesses.

You can get into bad habits or get lazy because your 'partner' knows the moves but if you practice and it goes well it can give you confidence and that makes you 'better' and so you become even more confident etc...... But be prepared for some honest criticism if you want to discuss how the moves went and whose 'fault' it is if a move goes wrong !

Dancing with Avril for a couple of years certainly helped me and now dancing with Fran has helped me improve................

[TheTramp]

I have the impression that people who do regularly practise together learn things faster and more easily than people who don't

Can't deny that this is true. The flip side however, is that then, when dancing with other people, you find that you can't lead the move, because you're relying on your partner to anticipate the follow part, and someone that you haven't done the move with before, won't (hopefully) be anticipating, since she won't know what's coming.

I've never really had a regular partner (I'm open to offers! ) - in all the competitions I've been in, I've only one had the same partner twice, and every other competition I've done with someone new. I think that if you wanted to compete seriously though, it would have to help to have a regular partner - and the same goes for teaching too.

Steve

[Jon]

I think that a regular partner or number of partners is the way to improve your dancing. I personally have 2 ladies that I dance really well with because our styles are similar and we both know the more difficult moves. But more importantly we are both totally relaxed and trust each other which definately helps!.

You can spend alot of your time dancing with the same partner(s) which is fine but you should always dance with other people or your leading / following will suffer. I've seen it happen.

And finally just because you have a dance partner doesn't mean you should refuse dances.

[Diane]

Never having had a regular parnter to dance with I could'nt say how your dance would change.
At the clubs I go to there is a guy that will only dance with you at certain times of the night, the other times being for his 'partner'. I guess this is fine if that is what he wants to do it's a free country and all that but I have found myself not wanting to bother dancing with him as who knows when he will say yes I suppose I don't like being told sorry it's so and so's time now.

[TheTramp]

Heh. I quite agree with you Diane.

If that was happening to me, I'd be like, 'Fine. When you're ready, I'll be over there, come get me'.

And if she didn't, well, like I'd really care anyhow

Steve

[Bill]

I'd agree that it can be a pain and very embarrassing being refused a dance even if it's because it's not the 'right' time.

I haven't made a set time to dance with anyone but I have to confess that, like some other dancers there are songs that when they are played make me look round for a particular dancer. Only a few but when you feel comfortable or compatible with someone then some songs are just right !

[Paul F]

Yep, definately agree that certain songs make you hunt out that certain person.

I still wonder though whether having a regular partner would give you that extra spice at the times when you do dance together.

To hear that some men ALLOCATE various slots to various women just makes me annoyed. Above all the great things Ceroc emboddies is the friendliness and pure courtesy of 99% of its members. I would never refuse a dance as long as i am capable of dancing.

The peole who you do see at certain venues who DO just dance together all night are missing out on so much ..... BUT ..... they do look good. I dont think anyone would deny that. I would like that kind of intuitive dancing when i dance. The only way i can think of getting that is to have a regular partner !

STEVE - nice avatar I dont know where you find them !!

[Bill]

Originally posted by Paul F
Yep, definately agree that certain songs make you hunt out that certain person.

I still wonder though whether having a regular partner would give you that extra spice at the times when you do dance together.

Depends on who your partner is and what the song is

Even with a great partner some songs are still very mediocre but wiht someone you know, trust and can have real fun with - well the right song can certainly give you 'that extra spice'

[Sandy]

Originally posted by Bill
Depends on who your partner is and what the song is

Even with a great partner some songs are still very mediocre but wiht someone you know, trust and can have real fun with - well the right song can certainly give you 'that extra spice'

Oh Yes! I find certain music very emotive and dancing with certain people make it an unbelievable combination.

I don't dance with a regular partner either but enjoy dancing regularly with some guys if you know what I mean. It is also very exciting to dance with someone new and go through new moves with them, as long as they can lead well.

oh God Ceroc is just such good fun

Sandy

[Gus]

Originally posted by Sandy
Oh Yes! I find certain music very emotive and dancing with certain people make it an unbelievable combination. ...... It is also very exciting to dance with someone new and go through new moves with them, as long as they can lead well.

Sandy

totally agree ... my dancing and enjoyment of Ceochas moved on massivelt since I started dancing with Helen regularly .. BUT, I still remember the first time I danced with Laura, FC, Sheena and Elliots partner (forgot her name:sorry ). I will alwys make time to dance with Helen, but is a Blues track comes on I head for Laura, is a club track comes on I'd love to dance with Clare D (Bowden) or Elliots lass (Coventry) .... ad who knows who else one will meet at the nect freestyle ..... Yup, this Ceroc game is great fun

[TheTramp]

Elliots partner is Della.

And I agree, she is great fun to dance with.

Steve

[DavidB]

I think having a regular partner initially helps your dancing. You have twice the chance of remembering something. You get a lot of feedback when something goes wrong. For doing lifts and drops it is essential. But it should not be exclusive - you should still dance with other people.

After a while it can hinder your dancing. The man's lead can get very lazy. The lady can get into the habit of not following, because she knows what is coming next. You can get stuck in a rut of doing the same moves, the same improvisations, etc. As soon as you get to this stage, make sure you dance a lot more with everyone else. You are actually getting worse by sticking to the same partner.


Not everyone who appears to have a regular dance partner is doing it deliberately. I dance with Lily a lot, but it is not just because we are dance partners, or because we are married. It is because Lily very rarely gets asked to dance. When we go out dancing, the main aim is to have fun by dancing. This gets a bit difficult if you spend all evening sitting down. (We also like dancing with each other.)

David

[Bill]

Originally posted by DavidB
I dance with Lily a lot, but it is not just because we are dance partners, or because we are married. It is because Lily very rarely gets asked to dance. When we go out dancing, the main aim is to have fun by dancing. This gets a bit difficult if you spend all evening sitting down. (We also like dancing with each other.)

David

and I can understand why Lily and other wonderful female dancers don't always get asked to dance. As mentioned on other threads many men are terrified of asking good women to dance because we'll be 'found out'. Having seen the two of you dance many men will just assume Lily wouldn't want to dance with them or that they couldn't match your ability.

It's a very unfortunate backhand compliment for you and Lily. And as folk have said it's the same for dancers like V & L. We also assume that women like Lily, Lydia et al will have been aslked up to dance all night and will be taking a breather. Having danced with Lily a couple of times now and having loved the xperience I now wouldn't hesitate to ask her because she is so approachable and such a lovley dancer but even now I assume some of the best female dancers wouldn't be too chuffed to dance with me or would be too tired and therefore more likely to say no.

But having a partner to dance with has some real benefits and it's nice to 'retreat' to the 'normal' moves and be lazy but the thrill of dancing with someone knew and having a great time is still a wonderful feeling.

[Dancing Veela]

I think having a regular dance partner really helps you improve - I know that since I stopped dancing with Bill I never really practise moves anymore and my dancing isn't nearly as good as it used to be. However I don't let that stop me!

[Lory]

Originally Posted by Paul F

I'm at the stage now where I feel that a regular partner would be a good thing to have.......but ......what is a regular partner???

Well, it's a new experience for me but I think it's someone who shares the same goals in dance as you (whatever they might be), who you'll be able to, do workshops with, practice with and share constructive criticisms with.

I really dont know whether searching for a partner is the right way to go. I would love to hear other peoples opinions on this.

I've dragged this old thread up and read it with lot's of interest, as I've very recently acquired a dance partner..

I've been dancing over 3years now and I think i've made fairly steady progress along the way. Starting off once a week locally and doing the classes religiously.

Then, after 6months or so, I spread my wings and tried new venues, where I was exposed to much better dancers, which at the time was a shock as i'd begun to feel quite good about my abilities at my local club but now I felt back to the beginning again! But instead of making me feel down, it just give me another level to strive for and a whole new lease of life.

My biggest improvement was without doubt, going on my first weekender! Things just started to fall into place and feel natural. I enjoyed the workshops and learning all the new stuff was brilliant.

My love of dancing has never waned but the realisation of something's of late, I've begun to find frustrating.. for example, I've long since given up doing classes.. (if I do, do one, it's never for the reason of learning something. Let me explain, I might join in, if i'm at a new venue, that would solely be to introduce my self and therefore make it easier to ask for dances later or if there's the rare occasion where there's men over, I feel it's my duty to help out)

The classes that are on offer to me on a regular basis are usually 'move' orientated. What's the point in me learning new moves, when I have no influence over what moves are used in freestyle?

Once, at Camber, I learnt one of the best routines ever (I can't remember the name of the teacher but the name of the move was something like 'the first move tapper?) No-one in the class could get it, except me yes, it was one of those complicated footwork thingy's and suddenly, all those years of tap dancing became worth it... I went through man after man in the line up, getting more and more frustrated until, WOW I was paired up with a guy who COULD!

He seemed just as thrilled as me and we promised faithfully we'd find each other later that night and do it again... I went back to my chalet and practised over and over and stupidly got quite excited when the evening came...... did I ever find the guy again?.... a big fat NO And never once has anyone tried to lead that move on my since (not that I could remember it now anyway )

Dancing with different men is undoubtedly good for my follow but not necessarily good for my style or technique, there's only so far you can go on your own and I think i've reached the time where I'm no long progressing and I miss the progression.

There are some moves which, even for the best lead in the world are basically unleadable and after watching couples who compete at high levels, there's no doubt in my mind, that they work out 'mini routines'. Or in other words, a sequence of moves that always end in a certain wow factor way! Unless your fully prepared for that, how can anyone go into it giving it their absolute ALL..incase that wasn't what the lead 'really' intended after all.

So, moving on... when the opportunity came up for me to have a partner, I jumped at it! And so far, i'm loving it!

The rewards up till now have been...

Being able 'explain' how things feel from my perspective and working together to find out what would improve it for me. i.e. drops

Having the chance to go back over mistakes I've made during freestyle dances and iron out where exactly it's going wrong.

Being told honestly when I do something rubbish or that looks naff and not being offended

Having lessons in completely different styles i.e. Cha cha and Argentine Tango etc. (my head spins when I come out pf tjose but I feel elated and I'd forgotten how good it feels to be learning again)

Getting over my shyness and now actually to be able to look into my partners eyes.. Oh no, that bit wasn't me after all

[ducasi]

Originally Posted by Lory

Well, it's a new experience for me but I think it's someone who shares the same goals in dance as you (whatever they might be), who you'll be able to, do workshops with, practice with and share constructive criticisms with.

... [snip] ...

The rewards up till now have been...

Being able 'explain' how things feel from my perspective and working together to find out what would improve it for me. i.e. drops

Having the chance to go back over mistakes I've made during freestyle dances and iron out where exactly it's going wrong.

Being told honestly when I do something rubbish or that looks naff and not being offended

Having lessons in completely different styles i.e. Cha cha and Argentine Tango etc. (my head spins when I come out pf tjose but I feel elated and I'd forgotten how good it feels to be learning again)

Getting over my shyness and now actually to be able to look into my partners eyes.. Oh no, that bit wasn't me after all

I'm so jealous of you and happy for you.

Are there any Glasgow girls around the same level as me (I've been dancing 6 months, but some of that has been twice a week) who want to experience what Lory has?

[Clive Long]

I have only ever asked two women to be a dance partner

Both because they were "light" "responsive" and "intelligent" dancers. They were about my "level" and I thought they might be keen to progress more quickly than the hit-and-miss method of random partners.

I also really, really fancied one of them.

In both cases they physically recoiled from the request as if they were in a Victorian melodrama being approached by the evil count.

The experience hasn't put me off, and I don't have time now to commit regularly to dance practice, but it was a really interesting lesson in asking the wrong question at the wrong moment to the wrong person.

I'm really happy that Lory has found the right dance partner for her (and the short time I have spoken to Kev he is such a decent guy). Her comments about being able to give constructive feedback without it being meant or received as criticism rings really positive bells in my brainicle - but don't leave all the rest of us behind . I need my weekly reminder, "Smile, Clive, smile !!"

CRL