Tango - are Ladies allowed to ask?

[ElaineB]

I was told a few weeks ago that Tango West in Bristol have been advising the new Ladies that they are not allowed to ask the Gentlemen for a dance! I understand that this is the custom in Argentina, but didn't realise that anyone thought this would be a good idea in the UK!!!!

Has anyone else come across this rather outdated and bizarre rule at Tango in other parts of the UK?


Elaine

[CJ]

They also have arranged marriages in the UK Tango scene, so don't go making your own decisions!!!

[ElaineB]

Originally Posted by Ceroc Jock

They also have arranged marriages in the UK Tango scene, so don't go making your own decisions!!!

Thanks for the advice - and I will stay away from Tango Dancers masquerading in kilts as well!


Elaine

[spindr]

Originally Posted by ElaineB

I was told a few weeks ago that Tango West in Bristol have been advising the new Ladies that they are not allowed to ask the Gentlemen for a dance! I understand that this is the custom in Argentina, but didn't realise that anyone thought this would be a good idea in the UK!!!!

Has anyone else come across this rather outdated and bizarre rule at Tango in other parts of the UK?

At least the traditional way of asking for a dance was explained at TLC.

"Argentine tango has an etiquette, or convention, of its own so that a leader's machismo is not “dented” by being publicly refused a dance by a follower. Before requesting a dance, a leader will make eye contact with their chosen follower across the room. If the follower maintains eye contact as the leader approaches, then the leader can “safely” assumed that the follower will accept the verbal offer to dance. However, if the follower breaks eye contact as the leader approaches (for whatever reason), then this is considered to be declining the invitation to dance — the leader can easily abort their approach, without having (their ego dented by) a more public verbal refusal. Similarly, followers can indicate their willingness to dance by making eye contact with leaders."

See also: http://www.cyber-tango.com/art/eyeask.html

SpinDr.

[Little Monkey]

Originally Posted by spindr

At least the traditional way of asking for a dance was explained at TLC.

"Argentine tango has an etiquette, or convention, of its own so that a leader's machismo is not “dented” by being publicly refused a dance by a follower. Before requesting a dance, a leader will make eye contact with their chosen follower across the room. If the follower maintains eye contact as the leader approaches, then the leader can “safely” assumed that the follower will accept the verbal offer to dance. However, if the follower breaks eye contact as the leader approaches (for whatever reason), then this is considered to be declining the invitation to dance — the leader can easily abort their approach, without having (their ego dented by) a more public verbal refusal. Similarly, followers can indicate their willingness to dance by making eye contact with leaders."

Cool!

I try to do the no-eye-contact thing at my local ceroc venue when there's someone I'd rather not dance with. Unfortunately this approach seems a bit too subtle for the average cerocer!!!

In my tango class, we encourage everyone to dance with as many different partners as possible, and encourage the ladies to ask the men, not just wait until a man asks them. We only have a small group of people, so it's not very intimidating.... However, I have heard that in a lot of other tango classes or milongas, this is 'frowned upon'...........?

LM

[Petal]

Originally Posted by spindr

At least the traditional way of asking for a dance was explained at TLC.

"Argentine tango has an etiquette, or convention, of its own so that a leader's machismo is not “dented” by being publicly refused a dance by a follower. Before requesting a dance, a leader will make eye contact with their chosen follower across the room. If the follower maintains eye contact as the leader approaches, then the leader can “safely” assumed that the follower will accept the verbal offer to dance. However, if the follower breaks eye contact as the leader approaches (for whatever reason), then this is considered to be declining the invitation to dance — the leader can easily abort their approach, without having (their ego dented by) a more public verbal refusal. Similarly, followers can indicate their willingness to dance by making eye contact with leaders."

See also: http://www.cyber-tango.com/art/eyeask.html

SpinDr.

That's exactly what i was taught by am wonderful tango teacher, Stefano, earlier this year.

[Msfab]

I never new this rule existed , and I'd been doing Argentinian Tango for about 9 months. (which is run by an Argentinian) I was regularly asking leaders including the teacher for a Dance and never refused.
I think its a silly rule and an even a sillier way of getting a dance! You can’t always make eye contact across a floor when there are people dancing on it and the lights are down.
I’m going to carry on asking for dances, until the organisers of a venue pick me up on it!

[Bex]

I never knew this rule existed either. Quite a few years ago when I worked for an airline I had the opportunity of visiting Buenos Aires briefly. Not knowing the language and only there in a work capacity I only spent spare time in my hotel room (quite sad I know, but I was young and a bit scared to venture out too far!) Anyway, in Buenos Aires they have a whole TV channel dedicated to Tango, it was bliss, just watched this the whole time I was there really.

I remember them talking about the history of Tango and that in Buenos Aires in particular, the early 1900's had a surge of 2million immigrants arriving from Europe (Italy & Spain). Many were single men, hoping to earn enough to return to Europe, or bring their family or buy a bride from Europe. A poor, desperate, male population bred crime, brothels, gangsters, and the tango!

Men danced together - there were few women, but tango inevitably moved to where they could be found - in the brothels, and it is said that the women could chose their clients by their dancing skill. The man had three dances to prove himself!

Maybe the men only being allowed to ask nowadays is a sign that they don't think you've originated from a brothel!!!

Bex

[Zebra Woman]

Originally Posted by Bex

Maybe the men only being allowed to ask nowadays is a sign that they don't think you've originated from a brothel!!!

Bex

Interesting Bex, I wonder if the Tango eye contact protocal helps them there?

They can avoid looking at the women who look like they may have originated from a brothel...


Hmm.........

[Andreas]

Interesting. To be honest I have no idea how this "don't you dare ask" attitude developed. Considering that Tango has started as an 'all male dance' one may wonder if, when one asked for a dance he had to be automatically the leader, right?

[Lory]

I asked our Tango teacher and she laughed, saying that it WAS true 'once' but nowadays in modern clubs, it's very similar to an MJ night, being, its just as acceptable for either sex to ask!

Although she did point out, that all depends on what country your in but here in Britain, we're on a fairly safe bet!

[ElaineB]

I will hopefully be going to Tango again on Thursday, (a different class to the one where this rule is meant to exist!) and will ask the teacher there as well.

Many thanks for your input!!!


Elaine