Ladies' sabotage advice

[jivecat]

A couple of guys I've danced with recently are keen on that corny old move where the lady has to put her hands on the man's chest and push him away. I hoped it had gone out of fashion. I always forget what I'm supposed to do so there's this dreadful pause while I look at the guy, thinking "Why's he stopped leading?" and he presumably thinks "This one's slow on the uptake." If I'm being really dense, sometimes he even points coyly to his chest, with a complacent smirk upon his face. (Sorry guys, but I am positive no forumite would behave in such a manner. )

The trouble is, I don't usually want to put my hands anywhere near anyone's scrawny chest, especially if there's the slightest risk or suspicion that my hands are going to end up even remotely near his nipples, ach. But I'm put in a position where I can't very well refuse to do so, without appearing wilful and uncooperative - which of course I am, but would prefer to at least appear to be playing the game on the dance floor.

So, does anyone know a neat sabotage thingy evasive trick I can train myself to do when the atrophied pectorals/clammy digits interface looms imminent? (Er, not too technical please, if poss.)

[Lou]

Originally Posted by jivecat

So, does anyone know a neat sabotage thingy evasive trick I can train myself to do when the atrophied pectorals/clammy digits interface looms imminent? (Er, not too technical please, if poss.)

Yeah - knee him in the groin. That should stop him trying any corny moves again.

[jivecat]

Originally Posted by Lou

Yeah - knee him in the groin. That should stop him trying any corny moves again.

Assuming I could coordinate kneeing him in the groin whilst placing my hands on his chest, even while sober, do you think that this would cause an interruption to the smooth flow of the dance?

[Rebecca]

I thought i was the only one who HATED that 'move'. Not sure what it is about it. You could always try preparing yourself for a twist turn as he's approaching the second 'in & out' and if he lets go of your hands off u spin lady!! He'll be dumbstruck and perhaps slightly nervous and you won't have to look at him whilst he tells you off for not playing. He'll also grab your hands naturally after the spin and away you dance

No lifting the arms though - he'll be close in and you might not want to give him a black eye - trust me it happens (oops)

[Gadget]

You're not being given a lead - do anything you want...
move them up instead of down?
keep moving forward untill your elbows are in contact with him, then use this additional leverage to shove him backwards?
grab his t-shirt and back away with him in tow?
take your hands away, look at them in disgust and wipe them on your trousers?

I confess that I sometimes use this move - but seldom actually perform it: I lead as if this is the move, but change it into something else... basically so I can smile at the look of releif on my partner's face.

[El Salsero Gringo]

Originally Posted by jivecat

A couple of guys I've danced with recently are keen on that corny old move where the lady has to put her hands on the man's chest and push him away. I hoped it had gone out of fashion. I always forget what I'm supposed to do so there's this dreadful pause while I look at the guy, thinking "Why's he stopped leading?" and he presumably thinks "This one's slow on the uptake." If I'm being really dense, sometimes he even points coyly to his chest, with a complacent smirk upon his face. (Sorry guys, but I am positive no forumite would behave in such a manner. )

The trouble is, I don't usually want to put my hands anywhere near anyone's scrawny chest, especially if there's the slightest risk or suspicion that my hands are going to end up even remotely near his nipples, ach. But I'm put in a position where I can't very well refuse to do so, without appearing wilful and uncooperative - which of course I am, but would prefer to at least appear to be playing the game on the dance floor.

So, does anyone know a neat sabotage thingy evasive trick I can train myself to do when the atrophied pectorals/clammy digits interface looms imminent? (Er, not too technical please, if poss.)

I do that move reasonably often. (I don't think I've ever smirked though.)

If you don't want to bounce off the man's chest, the alternative is simply to bounce off his shoulders instead. That shouldn't cause offence, and unless he has a very unusual physiology should keep your hands well away from his nipples.

And I don't think there's any call for a knee in the groin, thank you very much.

[MartinHarper]

I do this move.

Like Gadget, I was always taught that if the man stops leading, the woman is within her rights to do whatever the heck she likes. If the only thing she can think of is grabbing his chest hair, that's not really the guy's fault.

Originally Posted by jivecat

So, does anyone know a neat sabotage thingy evasive trick I can train myself to do when the atrophied pectorals/clammy digits interface looms imminent?

As a lead, there's no realistic way I can force my partner to put her hands on my chest (and believe me, I've tried). So, I'm giving a physical lead for my partner to move forwards (ie: I pull on her hands), followed by a visual lead to stop (ie: I don't get out of the way). Once I've let go of my partner's hands, her arms both become "spare arms", and I have no control over how she chooses to style them.

As a bare "passive" minimum: follow the lead, as given, and ignore the signal. Walk towards him, stop before you run him over, and keep your hands in the government approved "thunderbirds" pose until he picks one of them up to start leading again.
A more "active" option: move towards him, stop, and do that sassy hands-on-hips thing girls do when they want to be impatient and sexy at the same time. If he's not offered a hand after a couple of beats, he's clearly happy for you to "play", so take advantage.
Alternatively, you could hijack: drop down as you come in, and place your hands on his hips instead of his chest. Fro there, lead him into a few swivels, hip spin, return, etc.

[Danielle]

Originally Posted by Rebecca

I thought i was the only one who HATED that 'move'. Not sure what it is about it. You could always try preparing yourself for a twist turn as he's approaching the second 'in & out' and if he lets go of your hands off u spin lady!! He'll be dumbstruck and perhaps slightly nervous and you won't have to look at him whilst he tells you off for not playing. He'll also grab your hands naturally after the spin and away you dance

No lifting the arms though - he'll be close in and you might not want to give him a black eye - trust me it happens (oops)

You're not the only one - its one of my most hated moves as well (that and the side to side ) I find if you just stand there and just pretend to look confused he doesn't try it again (have tried the spinning out method but the guy in question just thought I couldn't follow his lead and kept trying it again and again )

[El Salsero Gringo]

...

Look, if you ladies don't like a move, why not just say "I don't like that move?" It strikes me as extremely condescending as well as just pointless to try to be clever and dodge your way out of it, then bitch about it on public forums about how the man doesn't "get the message".

When you dance, ladies, you ask for a clear lead from us. But this partner-dance-as-communication thing works both ways, you know - if you don't like something, just say so.

[Simon r]

Originally Posted by El Salsero Gringo

...

Look, if you ladies don't like a move, why not just say "I don't like that move?" It strikes me as extremely condescending as well as just pointless to try to be clever and dodge your way out of it, then bitch about it on public forums about how the man doesn't "get the message".

When you dance, ladies, you ask for a clear lead from us. But this partner-dance-as-communication thing works both ways, you know - if you don't like something, just say so.

hmmm the cool exterior cracks..... how are these comments any diffrent from some of your own in recent threads.

[Andreas]

Originally Posted by jivecat

So, does anyone know a neat sabotage thingy evasive trick I can train myself to do when the atrophied pectorals/clammy digits interface looms imminent? (Er, not too technical please, if poss.)

Why not just run your finger tip (finger nail more precisely) down his shirt w/o enough pressure to really touch him. Once you reach the gut stab him 'gently' in the side with your finger. If he enjoys that, next time you repeat the action but instead of stabbing him you step forwards onto his toes.

There are plenty of subtle moves to can bring across that you are not happy with the move

[Lou]

Originally Posted by Andreas

Why not just run your finger tip (finger nail more precisely) down his shirt w/o enough pressure to really touch him. Once you reach the gut stab him 'gently' in the side with your finger. If he enjoys that, next time you repeat the action but instead of stabbing him you step forwards onto his toes.

That's even better than mine.

Cheer up, ESG.

[Gadget]

Originally Posted by MartinHarper

As a lead, there's no realistic way I can force my partner to put her hands on my chest (and believe me, I've tried).

not strictly true ... But I'm not sure it's a good idea to post publicly with all these folk wanting to stab and maim leads who do it

[El Salsero Gringo]

Originally Posted by Simon r

hmmm the cool exterior cracks..... how are these comments any diffrent from some of your own in recent threads.

Which recent threads do you have in mind?

[DianaS]

Originally Posted by jivecat

A couple of guys I've danced with recently are keen on that corny old move where the lady has to put her hands on the man's chest and push him away. I hoped it had gone out of fashion. I always forget what I'm supposed to do so there's this dreadful pause while I look at the guy, thinking "Why's he stopped leading?" and he presumably thinks "This one's slow on the uptake." If I'm being really dense, sometimes he even points coyly to his chest, with a complacent smirk upon his face. (Sorry guys, but I am positive no forumite would behave in such a manner. )

The trouble is, I don't usually want to put my hands anywhere near anyone's scrawny chest, especially if there's the slightest risk or suspicion that my hands are going to end up even remotely near his nipples, ach. But I'm put in a position where I can't very well refuse to do so, without appearing wilful and uncooperative - which of course I am, but would prefer to at least appear to be playing the game on the dance floor.

So, does anyone know a neat sabotage thingy evasive trick I can train myself to do when the atrophied pectorals/clammy digits interface looms imminent? (Er, not too technical please, if poss.)

Hmm JC,
take a step back and offer your spare hand with a smile.
It's fair enough

At times I just explain that I don't like or do that move (I hate the one where your supposed to slide your bottom up their legs and substitute it with a cross over walk and if they try and explain what they think I should be doing I just explain that I'd rather not)

[David Bailey]

Originally Posted by El Salsero Gringo

When you dance, ladies, you ask for a clear lead from us. But this partner-dance-as-communication thing works both ways, you know - if you don't like something, just say so.

Hey, that sounds like me talking

It's a bit of a tricky one - it's certainly a legit move, and I think it can look pretty good in the right circumstances. I don't do it often, maybe only a couple of times a year, but sometimes the dance flows such a way that it's nice to do.

Having said that, it may be a bit too personal for some followers, and like all potentially-dodgy moves, you have to be a bit sensitive about who you do it with. I suspect that ESG is sensitive in this way, and jivecat's partners may not be.

I also agree with Gadget and MartinHarper*, in that of course if you supply no lead, the lady should do her own thing and wait until you do supply a lead (or walk off...).

However, the chest-spin is led - there is a signal, it's not obvious, but if you know the move and your partner, it should be clear from the position and momentum. Basically, in-and-out, then let go of hand and, err, stick your chest out

So if the lady declines the lead, OK, but the lead should be there.

I guess one possible diplomatic exit for the follower is to just put your fingertip on the chest rather than full palm, and push yourself back. That avoids nasty pectoral contact - how's that sound?

My bottom line is - it's a move, it's not the most fashionable, but it's legit, and the follower should follow a clear lead, otherwise anarchy will ensue...

Originally Posted by jivecat

sometimes he even points coyly to his chest, with a complacent smirk upon his face. (Sorry guys, but I am positive no forumite would behave in such a manner. )

Errr...

That is, "No! Of course not!"


* In fact, basically, I agree with everyone. Isn't that nice?

[Lory]

Originally Posted by jivecat

The trouble is, I don't usually want to put my hands anywhere near anyone's scrawny chest, especially if there's the slightest risk or suspicion that my hands are going to end up even remotely near his nipples, ach.

I know I'm weird but this move always brings a smile to my face, it's sooo cheesy and funny and I've found loads of ways to 'play' it....

Sweaty scrawny chest = very straight index finger poke

Sleazy letch = Thumbs only, with fingers spread wide in the NO WAY styley

Can't bare to touch them at all = put your hands together and do a genie in a bottle action, straight up. out and round and grab their hands on the way out

Nice body = Stop and take a couple of beats to enjoy run fingers slowly down from collar bones, through to middle of chest, then flat hands on both pec's and push away with a !

And silly cheeky mates get their nipples pinched really hard!

[El Salsero Gringo]

And another thing: If it's OK for ladies to talk about sweaty scrawny chests and atrophied pecs, does that mean I should complain - supposing it bothered me - about having to touch lard-mountain hips or wizened twisted old fingers ("ach") while I dance? Our bodies are whatever they are.

[David Bailey]

Originally Posted by El Salsero Gringo

And another thing: If it's OK for ladies to talk about sweaty scrawny chests and atrophied pecs, does that mean I should complain - supposing it bothered me - about having to touch lard-mountain hips or wizened twisted old fingers ("ach") while I dance? Our bodies are whatever they are.

As the possessor of a, ahem, non-perfect bod, I agree!