Ladies - What are you looking for in a dance?

[DavidB]

I think it's good that the leaders have said they are all looking for different things in a dance. If we all wanted the same thing, it would get pretty boring.

So Ladies - what are you looking for in a dance?

[Janet]

If you could add a fifth option to your poll which reads:

All of the above

then you would definitely get my vote.

Not that I am hard to please or anything!

Janet

[filthycute]

The one i would choose isn't up there.

I just want someone who's having great fun
i could choose any of the mentioned, but without a huge (possibly silly looking ) smile they would all be dissapointing.

filthycute x x

[DavidB]

Originally posted by Janet
All of the above

You can vote for more than one option. But if you all vote for all of them, we men are no better off. I really wanted to let you rank them in order of importance to you, but I couldn't see any way of doing it.

As for smiling - this will have to do...

David

[John S]

Originally posted by filthycute
The one i would choose isn't up there.

I just want someone who's having great fun
i could choose any of the mentioned, but without a huge (possibly silly looking ) smile they would all be dissapointing.

filthycute x x

I think fc is right - there can be few things more disheartening than dancing with someone who looks as if they've got toothache, or whose eyes are all over the dancefloor sussing out the next dance partner. On the (fortunately rare) occasions that has happened to me, I've been desperate for the music to end - and I do understand that if my partner isn't enjoying it then it could be my fault

But if both partners are out to have fun, then even (or sometimes especially) if the moves go horribly wrong then it's enjoyable.

Franck is always emphasising the need to smile, and as long as it's natural (ie not a fixed grimace) then it works for me.

[Janet]

Originally posted by DavidB
You can vote for more than one option. But if you all vote for all of them, we men are no better off.

Hi David,

Yes, you are right.

What I really like in a dance is a SURPRISE.

Let me explain.
This doesn't need to be anything fancy and depends a lot on my partner. (I know this is not very helpful.)
Dancing with a beginner it could be that they suddenly get the beat of the music or remember another move or find that they can actually smile without completely forgetting to dance (BTW that doesn't only apply to beginners :p ).

It could be a new move from a partner who hasn't changed their routine in 6 months, or a good lead which hits a break in the music.

Obviously, if all your poll options come together in one dance then it is fantastic (some might say miraculous ) but a surprise or two is enough in most cases.

I have to say though, that I empathise all too well with filthycute's comments on another thread about men not including new moves in their routine. As a lady, it is extremely frustrating learning 4 new moves per class - could be several hundred a year, depending on how regularly you dance - and being lucky if you ever dance a handful of them again. That is why I find it so rewarding to travel to new venues and dance with new partners - then everything is a surprise.

Janet

[Stuart M]

Originally posted by Janet

What I really like in a dance is a SURPRISE.

Let me explain.
This doesn't need to be anything fancy and depends a lot on my partner. (I know this is not very helpful.)

I think it is helpful - "Surprise Janet at Ceroc" is now on my To Do list. However, I can't think of good ways to surprise partners, other than a handful of moves (e.g. the lady-spin where you reverse the spin half-way through), and they're not too popular I have found. Maybe a subject worthy of a new thread?

Originally posted by Janet

...or find that they can actually smile without completely forgetting to dance (BTW that doesn't only apply to beginners :p ).

Guilty as charged, m'lud!:sorry

[DavidB]

Originally posted by Janet
I have to say though, that I empathise all too well with filthycute's comments on another thread about men not including new moves...

I do try doing new moves. But:

• I only tend to do moves that feel comfortable to me. For example, I can't do any moves where my arm is supposed to go behind my shoulder, because my arms don't!
• I only do moves that I think I can lead. For me this rules out any moves that rely on a signal, other than the very basic ones (neck break, pretzel, etc).
• I don't do drops (too dangerous)
• I don't do travelling moves (no room)
• I only do moves I like.

Unfortunately that rules out 50% of the moves I seem to get taught. But I will try the other 50% if I can remember them

... in their routine.

How many men do a routine? I don't consciously do one, but I know I have my favourite moves or links. I hope it doesn't feel like a routine.:sorry

David

[Franck]

I am surprised that only 4 women have answered the poll
It is not hard really , all you need to do is click in a couple of boxes and then on the "vote" button
Once you have done that, you have the option to post and explain your views...
So far nothing too controversial.

Being a woman can be quite limited while dancing, you are bound by the man's abilities and experience. However, as a result, the pressure is on for the guys

Remember to introduce new moves, do all the moves well, lead expertly, think ahead and match moves to the music, throw in a few surprises for good measure, look good in Black & white shoes, do not sweat too much, SMILE, make eye contact, remember that footwork, watch for the other couple and potential clashes, what was that move in the Intermediate class again? , Oh no,how do I get out of the Armjive again? Am I still dancing to the right beat? , Is my partner still smiling?, Woah - that record is faster/longer than I thought, Ouch - nails / glitter / pony-tail, etc, phew - made it to the end of the record with a nice seducer finish, now who is my next partner so I can try again...

Who said Ceroc was easy again?

I think I need a drink or three

Franck.

[filthycute]

Remember to introduce new moves, do all the moves well, lead expertly, think ahead and match moves to the music, throw in a few surprises for good measure, look good in Black & white shoes, do not sweat too much, SMILE, make eye contact, remember that footwork, watch for the other couple and potential clashes, what was that move in the Intermediate class again? , Oh no,how do I get out of the Armjive again? Am I still dancing to the right beat? , Is my partner still smiling?, Woah - that record is faster/longer than I thought, Ouch - nails / glitter / pony-tail, etc, phew - made it to the end of the record with a nice seducer finish, now who is my next partner so I can try again...

Who is this man???......Franck, could you point him out to me the next time you see him??

filthycute x x

[DavidB]

What I should be thinking when I dance:

• What dances does she know?
• What dance should I do to this music?
• Lets try a different start?
• Is it a 12-bar blues rhythm, or a standard 8-bar pop song.
• Does she like spinning?
• Interesting rhythm - can I do anything with it?
• She didn't follow that. Make sure you lead it properly next time.
• Have I done that move before?
• Did I do it the same way?
• What did she just do - that was cute?
• What beat was that break on?
• Is there room to do that move?
• End of the phrase coming up - I'll just extend that move and it should fit in nicely.
• It's too slow/quick for that move - don't do it again.
• It's getting crowded, so keep it small.
• There must be another break coming up - what can I do?
• Can't do a comb any more - my neck is sweating too much.
• It's the chorus, so no breaks.
• Cute move time - think of one *quick*.
• Another break, so keep it simple.
• It's that interesting rhythm again - if I do the same thing again, she might catch on.
• That's the third time I've done that move - don't do it again.
• This sounds like Latin - try something different like salsa.
• Lets see if she likes improvising - gives me a rest for a couple of bars.
• She's getting used to me - time for a change.
• Still a good connection. Wonder if she can follow shoulder and back leads?
• Oops. I didn't mean to do that. Make it look like I lead it.
• End coming up - make sure she doesn't do a drop.
• Say thank you, or ask for another dance.

What I end up thinking:

• Absolutely nothing.

I cannot even remember what moves I've done.

Sorry ladies.

David

[Heather]

Well done Filthycute!!!! You have sussed out how to do the quote thingy!!! (Maybe you can explain it to me on Wednesday?)

[Jayne]

Hi David,

Interesting thinking process going on there - do you really think that the average man would ever achieve that much thought in three minutes? Let alone in combination with dancing!

I was also impressed that there wasn't a reference to sex in there - surely this should happen at least once in three minutes!

Jayne

[DavidB]

Originally posted by Jayne
I was also impressed that there wasn't a reference to sex in there - surely this should happen at least once in three minutes!

Well partner dancing is sometimes described as the vertical expression of horizontal desire - by that definition we're thinking about it all the time.

[Franck]

Originally posted by Jayne
Hi David,

Interesting thinking process going on there - do you really think that the average man would ever achieve that much thought in three minutes? Let alone in combination with dancing!

I was also impressed that there wasn't a reference to sex in there - surely this should happen at least once in three minutes!

Trust you to bring the tone of the conversation down
Anyway, the above was pretty much what can go through my head during a dance, not all of it and not always of course, sometimes I even talk to my partner, or simply relax in a dance...
As for your other point every 3 minutes??? Really unlikely Too busy working out the above to think of anything else.

Franck.

[Minnie M]

Originally posted by DavidB
[*]Can't do a comb any more - my neck is sweating too much.

YUK YUK YUK Why do men do this - then where do you wipe your wet hand

Good pole

Men/leads always seem to think they need lots of clever moves for their partner to enjoy the dance - this pole will prove otherwise

DavidB is one of the few dancers that ALL us followers (especialy the ladies) LOVE dancing with, so note his comments

Also note Franck's comments, he is not only a great lead but he is so much fun to dance with

[Foofs]

Originally posted by Minnie M
Also note Franck's comments, he is not only a great lead but he is so much fun to dance with

[DangerousCurves]

Originally posted by Minnie M
Men/leads always seem to think they need lots of clever moves for their partner to enjoy the dance - this pole will prove otherwise

I agree wholeheartedly with Minnie - and with FilthyCute's earlier posting.

I really don't mind if the chap only knows a couple of moves, so long as he looks like he's happy to be dancing them with me!

Conversely, I don't like it at all if the gentleman doesn't view the dance as a joint adventure... and leads without regard to the lady. By this I mean the chaps who lead you forceably into the next horrendously complicated move when you're still on the wrong foot from the move before, or who sigh or grimace when you fail to decipher an incomprehensible lead (the "limp lettuce" hand signalling a spin is a particular horror for me, by the time you realise what its supposed to signify you have no momentum left to accomplish the spin!). They seem much more focused on showing off how many moves they know, than actually ENJOYING them with someone.

At Southport at the weekend, during one of Mikey's classes, he explained to the gents very carefully where their weight had to be for a move, and which foot their lady's weight would be on as she moved, so that they could time a sequence properly without pulling her off balance. This lead to a discussion between me and some friends about how useful it would be to have a "gents' lead class" to make chaps more aware of simple things like that, which make the difference between a lovely dance and an experience more like tag-team wrestling! Just not sure how many chaps would be interested.....?

[Daisy]

Originally posted by Jayne
Hi David,

do you really think that the average man would ever achieve that much thought in three minutes? Let alone in combination with dancing!

I was also impressed that there wasn't a reference to sex in there - surely this should happen at least once in three minutes!

[ChrisA]

Originally posted by DangerousCurves
Just not sure how many chaps would be interested [in a gents' leading class].....?

Just the ones that don't need it, probably

Chris