A Ceroc Forum Story ......

OK .... so I'm flued up, stuck in doors and BORED BEYOND BELIEF ... so the time has come to try something creative for once....


Ever played the game (usualy involving alcohol) where you make up one line of a story then the next person adds the next line and so on and so on ...

Well ... thought given the rapid wit, scintilating sarcasm and rapid reparte that exists on this forum ... thought I'd give it a go...

RULES
Each contributor must add only three sentences ... preferably stoping part way through the third sentence.
No personal bitchiness ... unless you want that person to get vengance in public....
You can only contribute again after FOUR contributions by other 'authors' ... yes I'm talking to you Tramp and Gadget ... let some of the other kids have a go...

So here goes.


The cold night rain still beat against the room's window, but went unnoticed as Wendy stared intently into the PC's screen. The forum talk was once more about Sheena's stroking trousers and serial airsteppers but a warm smile played on Wendy's lips. She sipped her drink again thought again what to do, as with the Xmas dances approaching what could she do about .......


TO BE CONTINUED?

Who me??? :innocent: (This from the guy with 692 posts, and lying 2nd in the list of alltime top posters! :rolleyes: ).

Anyhoo....

.......her desperate need for more dances with Gus. Those orange trousers shone brightly in her memory - even more vividly than the kilt. Banishing those wicked thoughts momentarily to the back of her mind, she turned around as......

Quote:

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Originally posted by TheTramp
Who me??? :innocent: (This from the guy with 692 posts, and lying 2nd in the list of alltime top posters! :rolleyes: ).

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Gus registered on the forum in MARCH you 've been on less than a month...nuff said ;)


ok heres mine....

...the noise from something being posted through the letter box broke her from her reverie. Upon investigation it turned out to be a little model drummer girl in a plastic tube. 'Hmm' thought Wendy whimsically ' I dont remember ordering such Scottish touristy tat! Must be a joke thought up by...'

Jean- Claude - that wonderful French hunk she had met whilst in Paris, he played the drums in one of the local bands and loved to watch her, as she danced seductively in her little mini-kilt. Now her thoughts turned to those carefree youthfull days as she turned the small figure over and over in her hand. So lost was she, in this foreign land of long ago, that she didn't even notice.........

....the note dropping from the plastic tube. Eventually her daydreaming was interrupted by the phone ringing, and she went to answer it. It was Brady calling to ask if......

she'd had anymore thoughts about that surprise visit back to gay Paris. On hearing the question, voiced in Brady's concerned tones, Wendy realised that nothing as trivial as Franck's last playlist was going to stop her reliving those wistful days and that ctastrophic night when she missed Jean-Claude, unknown to her, by those 5 fateful minutes. As if her guardian angel was throwing his last hand into the table, Santana's Flor d'Luna came on the radio and she thought maybe, just maybe....

The cold night rain still beat against the room's window, but went unnoticed as Wendy stared intently into the PC's screen. The forum talk was once more about Sheena's stroking trousers and serial airsteppers but a warm smile played on Wendy's lips. She sipped her drink again thought again what to do, as with the Xmas dances approaching what could she do about .......

.......her desperate need for more dances with Gus. Those orange trousers shone brightly in her memory - even more vividly than the kilt. Banishing those wicked thoughts momentarily to the back of her mind, she turned around as......

...the noise from something being posted through the letter box broke her from her reverie. Upon investigation it turned out to be a little model drummer girl in a plastic tube. 'Hmm' thought Wendy whimsically ' I dont remember ordering such Scottish touristy tat! Must be a joke thought up by...'

Jean- Claude - that wonderful French hunk she had met whilst in Paris, he played the drums in one of the local bands and loved to watch her, as she danced seductively in her little mini-kilt. Now her thoughts turned to those carefree youthfull days as she turned the small figure over and over in her hand. So lost was she, in this foreign land of long ago, that she didn't even notice.........

....the note dropping from the plastic tube. Eventually her daydreaming was interrupted by the phone ringing, and she went to answer it. It was Brady calling to ask if......

.....She had seen his bra. Wendy had been showing Brady the art of shimmying earlier that night, and in the process of Wendy helping him fulfill ALL of his promise as a dancer, she had talked him into releasing his manbreasts, along with his inhibitions. As Brady contremplated this new life ahead of him, he couldn't help.....

...thinking how that missed airstep, and its tragic consequences, had so completely changed his life. It would all have been so perfect if there was somebody out there who could Brady him. But that was all in the past - he could now truly look forward to dancing Blues with Bill, and hoped he would do that move where...

...he would be put into a slow seducer, Bill would pause look into his eyes and say.....

...."I heard Gus can work wonders with 2 inches..." at which point Brady's eyes widened and his thoughts turned to...

.... his troubled partner who, during their last dance, had returned....

from the dead, like one of the dodgy dancers at the back in Michael Jacksons thriller video. The detachable arms were a useful party trick but the smell of rotting flesh meant a blues dance number was generally out of the question. The sound of sirens broke through the smoke filled dance hall and...

... it was realised that his first move would be his last. They buried him (again!) and followed his wishes of having a dance at the wake. Unfortunately they asked the organiser of a successful (well - popular!) recent party in Glasgow to book somewhere, and...

..having taken on board everything which had been commented on the previous party the organiser found himself forced to have a good long think about everyone's wishes. So much to consider, and he was struggling to get all his thoughts in order, indeed his thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer. Finally he decided on...

delegating all responsibilities on to the desperate lot, themselves. Brady's partner, bless him, was a popular dancer and if this was to be a proper wake for the people, it had to be by the people. "Rightio," said Bill, "In that case...."

.... for the good of mankind the aristoracy must be over thrown and the will of the common dancer must prevail. Today! we will launch a revolution, and I shall lead the compressed dancers from their squashed existance to the land of plenty..... of space". But Brady stood up and shouted......

"Oh no you won't!!!!!!!!" gesticulating to the audience to join in. If there was only one thing Brady loved more than the panto season it was..........

....the Daily Star crossword, but it was sooooooo tough, and when indulging in such pleasures he sometimes had to ask....

Quote:

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Originally posted by Ceroc Jock
"Oh no you won't!!!!!!!!" gesticulating to the audience to join in. If there was only one thing Brady loved more than the panto season it was..........

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ooh you gotta wait for 3 people CJ you cheat :)

to continue......


....'a long slow screw up against a wall', one of Ceroc Jocks favourite drinks as well. In fact they were like brothers in arms - Brady and CJ. Just like the three muskateers but with one missing, and they weren't french, however...

.....unlike Jean-Claude. Wendy knew what she was going to do now. She had put everything into one of Graham's spreadsheets and it had given her the answer. It even drew a pretty coloured pie-chart, so it must be right. But could she really....

... trust an answer from some evil Microsoft software, conceived from the loins of Satan by the son of the Devil himself - Bill Gates. {Sorry - Franck asked me to post this} Still - the Ceroc for Lap Dancers idea it came up with was appealing. But would it attract enough men...

... mused Frank as he wondered on the viability of a Ceroc franchise north of the Arctic Circle, could he overfill a hall in Lapland? But he was pulled from his reverie by Bill's insistant banging of his....

.....red stilettoes on the head of the hapless airstepping smoker whose blood was now congealing in numerous small pools spreading out from his lifeless body on the uneven O'Donahues dancefloor. Realisation slowly dawned on Franck that for once the emptiness of the room wasn't due to his latest experimental Algerian hip-hop garage crossover track. Suddenly, the doors flew open, and several policemen crowded through them, and with them was none other than......

Wendy ... dressed in a wonderfull sensuous outfit that screamed ... "stroke me ... you know you want to!" Bill thought quickly, casualy strolling over he took Wendy's profered hand and whispered to the Police "We told him this floor was dangerous ... NOW looked what happened"! A dull light came on in Mr Plods eyes and seconds later the public were enthralled to see Franck being hauled away screaming .... "The Music wasn't that bad honest ... its all a Microsoft conspiracy!!"
Bill put on 'Vem Vet', took Wendy into his arms and thought to himself ... "two birds, one stone" .... until he realised that...

Quickly editing because of Gus's post!

.... The tiny Swedish songbird, Lisa Ekdahl, whose sweet and innocent demeanor belied the evil bitterness inside her, had entered the room. The music stopped.
"Where is Heather?", she roared.
Everyone turned to look, but....

....everyone knew there was bonny heather all over the highlands, she could have just popped up north for a sprig or two. 'Swedes' thought Bill. 'Good music, but no knowledge of where to find quality foliage'. Just then, the plants namesake 'Heather' came in wearing a T-Shirt proclaiming 'Lisa sucks' which made CJ comment....

... that he was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something even worse, such as....

Quote:

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Originally posted by Dave Hancock
... that he was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something even worse, such as....

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lol Dave stop quoting all the bad metaphors/analogies from the other thread :D

its not my turn ...

next...

that fatefull injury when he sprinted through the thistles ... forgetting he was wearing his kilt. Never mind .. the sign that 'Lisa Sucks' gave him a thought as to how he could have the last of those thorns removed! He approached Lisa with rising 'anticipation' and said

..."let me show you this drop they do down south". But Lisa was already chasing through the heather after Heather. She asked the Tramp to help, and he...

erm..erm..never mind *l*..I like Lou's better :)

...didn't hear, being away on business and all that (which explained why the forum was so quiet that day). Bill twirled and grimaced. "Sore willy" he explained. Gus replied that he'd seen more than he ever wanted to see, and suggested that they...


Hmmm.... why is it I always time mine with someone else?! (*lol*)

Sorry Emma! We changed same time too! *lololol*

Quote:

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Originally posted by Lou
...didn't hear, being away on business and all that (which explained why the forum was so quiet that day). Bill twirled and grimaced. "Sore willy" he explained. Gus replied that he'd seen more than he ever wanted to see, and suggested that they...

---

..should all sit down together bash out some sort of Swing Music playlist that could be adopted in the North, because plainly it would be Better For All. Bill perked up at this a bit and mentioned that...

...he had this idea of a whole freestyle dedicated to Blues, with a Blues theme, and a Blue dress code and ...and....and .... but it was too late... Gus had realised that the cause of Club Music was dead! Sadly he changed from his bright orange trousers and was about to change into something more 'sensible' when he was bowled over by an enraged Wendy storming into the room (again).

"You stopped dancing with me mid beat" she yelled at a suddenly 'un-bluesed Bill ..."..and no man performs Blues-Interruptus with me and lives.!" So saying she made a mental note to strip Bill of his BTC rank and pulled out of her pocket a......

"...signed copy of PEANUTS with her lookalike emblazoned on the cover. "If only you could be more like Snoopy" she grumbled at Bill "he would never stoop so low." "That beagle can certainly dance" thought everyone near by. A tremendous springing noise echoed round the room ....







(what does Wendy think of all this attention :) )

... and in came Sheena. Gus came over all funny - a strokeable tiger outfit!! He'd only seen one of those on video before (and it wasn't the Ceroc champs video!!!) He casually raced over to her, and said...

...."Hey, baby: you look like funfunfunfunfun!!"

"Not so fast, monkey-boy!" interrupted John S, angrily, "I've spent years waiting for this moment, and no flashing-trousered twerp is going to spoil it!". With that, he grabbed Sheena's hand, and......

... escorted her to his psychedelic camper van where he offered her a cup of tea and a large selection of biscuits. The mood was tense, Sheena was allergic to digestive. John S apologised profusley for shoving his box in her face and ...

.......spilling the hot liquid down her strokeable trousers. Sheena sprung to her feet, and sprung, and sprung (etc) yelling "Act Your Age, Grand-dad". She fled from the van, seeking solace in ......

... the same sanitorium in which we all should be? But as she got to the door, she thought to herself, that would be far too easy. The best thing for her to do was definately.....

...to run to the arms of Elliot. After much stroking of trousers and several dances later Sheena felt invigorated and bounced back to life. She had an idea and she was a woman on a mission to...

(thought that would make you smile Sheena! :wink: )

ed - oops, me and CJ posted at the same time... mines slightly modified but was intended to go after John S's...

....rid the world of serial air steppers. She grabbed a wet kipper from the fridge and advanced towards....

...the man in black who was casually balancing three women on his nose while literally hundreds of dancers danced within three feet of him. Un-nose those women she cried, waving the wet kipper in a menacing fashion. Unfortunately at that exact moment, Franck...

Steve

Quote:

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Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe


(what does Wendy think of all this attention :) )

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Absolutely loving it !!!!!!! Giggling with each new post !!!

Just wish someone would get Jean-Claude and me together for a red-hot blues :yum: .....but the way things are going I could get battered with a frozen fish instead :sick:....

Wx

PS Just burnt the rice for dinner !!!!

.....stormed back through the door, muttering "Putain! Les flics me font chier!", and made a beeline for his beloved IMAC, thoughtlessly barging into Sheena, who toppled towards the man in black. Instinctively, he placed an expert hand behind her neck and miraculously stopped her inches from the floor, but unfortunately the three nose-balancing women tumbled floorwards, flattening five nearby dancers.

Meanwhile, back at Wendy's house, Graham picked up a piece of paper from behind the front door, and opening it, read.....

... CAR BOOT SALE - THIS SATURDAY - B THERE OR B SQUARE

Graham, being unashamedly hostile towards second hand goods, made straight for the city centre to buy some Christmas presents for all his Cerocing buddies. To his utter amazement, the credit card bounced (SHOCK HORROR) whilst trying to buy a My Little Pony for himself (OH MY GOD) he was escorted out of the shop (WORLD EXCLUSIVE). With only £2.50 to his name he ...

Bit tabloidy, but hey.

realised that Ceroc this week was beyond his financial grasp. Terror like he had never known wracked his body. He desperately searched his pockets for more money but all he could find was the Car Boot Sale note ... then he realised that there was a message on the OTHER side of the note that said...

Golly gosh was a clean translation of his real thoughts as he started to turn the cogs in his brain: there has to be a way to get that £5.00 entrance fee. With an almost blinding flash of inspiration, he decided to sell Jean-Claude a....

(Wend, if someone bites... don't say I'm not good to you. If they don't, I tried, petal:wink: )

.... signed copy of a picture of Wendy. Upon receiving it, Jean-Claude thought something in French, then immediately got on the first available plane to Glasgow. After landing he got straight in a taxi and....

(CJ, How I do?)

Steve

after a tense three hour journey (Jean -Claude was surprised to find that Glasgow was so full of one-way streets, all of them en-route to Wendy and Graham's house!) he finally stepped out of the cab and looked wistfully towards that 2nd floor window (you do live in a flat don't you Wendy?).
Mais - non! he thought in French (just in case you didn't notice), how can I bear to see my beloved Wendy in the arms of another?
But the desire that filled his heart was too great and striding determinedly on he at last reached the door and lifted his beautifully tanned, strong arm (he's a drummer remember, very strong arms!) to knock ..................................

when suddenly he was confused by a memory of GadgetÕs analysis of 3000 possible hand positions. He found himself totally unable to decide between the Right-handed Rat-a-tat-tat with Raised Pinky, and the Left-handed Loop-de-Loop with Lowered Thumb. As a compromise, he chose to ring the bell with another part of his anatomy, but unfortunately for him É..

..... he realised he had not paid sufficient attention at Gus's workshops and he knew not how to use his 2 inches! Worse was to 'come' as Wendy chose that momemt to open the door and .... she laughed at his 'not-so-mighty' sword. Messr Van D shrank away (not that you could notice the difference) as Wendy now saught satisfaction elsewhere and Graham realised that she was now bearing down in him. In desperation he....

...ran to the arms of Elliot (pushing Sheena rudely out of the way). "Young man", he cried. "Young man, you must save me from a fate worse than........"

Steve

the exquisite agonies of the insatiable delights which are hotly following behind!!!! I'm knackerd!! how much energy do you have left Elliot????
Sheena Indigniantly picked herself up of the floor and rubbed down her velvet trousers provociatley and looking Graham squarely in the face said.....

Will somebody please tell us what Sheena is about to say? Never since I've known her has anyone been able to keep her silent for so long!!!

(I can't continue this without breaking the "4 other contributor's" rule, but surely somebody must have an idea - even if it's only to do with Graham's knack of turning everything into graphs and pie charts!!!!)

Stroke me, tease me, thrill me Big Boy" .... well at least thats what the drunk Graham heard ... when in fact Sheena had actualy said "Where's that Elliot boy" (and easy misinterpreatation). However, given what she had said, Sheena could be forgiven for being somewhat taken aback when Graham suddenly started molesting in her in a 'closer than close' way. Inevitably(!) ... Wendy chose that moment to re-appear on the scene. Realising that his last moments on this planet were approaching, a suddenly sober Graham blurted out, "There's a perfectly reasonable explanation darling" as he zipped up Sheena's trousers .."I......

Go on John !!! Live dangerously !!! Just go for it and say what you'd like her to say !! Gus won't mind !!! I'll see to that !!!

Wx

... was just looking in here cos this is where Jean-Claude said he put the map for the buried treasure. Sheena was keeping it for us nice and safe. In fact, if it wasn't for Sheena hiding it, and me getting it out now (!!) it could well have............

.....been any one of the Dundee Crew who found it. However, the map is full of words like "TRESHURE", "GOALD" and "DIG HEAR" so it's obviously not yet been seen by Heather." Wendy, being one of life's innocents and terminally gullible, fell for Graham's explanation and buried her face in his manly chest, tenderly murmuring ........

... "So that's what happened to my cat!" She rushed off to phone the RSPCA, but was stopped in her tracks by a crazed looking Sheena. She explained that the man from the RSPCA had stroked her trousers, and promptly locked her in a kennel. She only got out when she was adopted by...

Bill !!!- (who fancied a new pet for christmas.) However he had deserted her when he went underground to hide his shame from being kicked off Wendy's BTC team ( he was the first afterall!!) and being beaten in the dance arena by Snoopy the dog! Oh the shame off it all:tears: :tears: Now poor, poor Sheena has been left defensless in the dance world and is seeking .........

retribution on those who would fondle her trousers and unzip her looking for hidden treasure. 'How dare they' she thought, cus she thought a lot did Sheena, 'how dare they' ( she said again - specially for the hard of thinking and reading).

I'll show them that there's more to me than wit, charm, sophistication, dancing ability, organisational skills, sweetness and light :D ................. to prove to everyone what I'm capable of I'm going to......................


( how come I've only found this thread now !!!!! took me ages to read this to find out what on earth was going on!!!!)

....run out and do all of Curtain's Xmas shopping for him! So she grabbed her bag & rushed off to....

...Oxfam, aware as ever that Curtain was a poor impoverished student: as if there was any other kind.:rolleyes: If you look carefully and REALLY think about the recipient, one can truly buy the most amazing gifts, she was thinking. Just as she was looking through the touchy0feely rack, a warm glow came over her, as if she had had her Readybrek that morning, as she remembered that gift.....

....... of alphabet knickers Heather had given her last Christmas to help her spelling, and how she had spent ages working out how best to show them off before she came up with FRANCK.

Nevertheless, she continued to look at Oxfam's woolly hats for new headgear for Curtain, until she finally saw something she thought was just the job.

However, Sheena wasn't sure he would appreciate it, as .............

the book had a very long title and only a few pictures and so was hardly suitable for univeristy studnets (:D ). The title diod seem to strike a chord................'The art of DJ'ing. How to make That Special Night Go With a Swing and entertain music hungry dancers for hours on end and crack a few jokes at the same time while defining the exact nature of Blues Music'.

While she pursed her lips and gazed at the cover something suddenly struck her.......

...it was the flailing arms and legs of a serial airstepper. "why on earth are they doing that in an Oxfam shop?" she mused. They were doing it because....

there was at least one square foot of free space! (Not counting the height of the ceiling, which, if you took that into account, meant there would be more than enough cubic area to satisfy the conditions required by the Health and Safety of Serial Airsteppers Executive :wink: ).
However they had not reckoned on Sheena walking into their dance space and so left her no option but to pull the wet haddock (that Gus had so kindly sent her for just such an ocassion :grin: ) from her shoulder bag and to begin beating them both soundly with it. As they lay motionless, face-down on the ground, Sheena bent slowly and reached forward to turn them over and to her horror.................

saw none other than Elliot and Graham - limbs all entwined as they had taken a tumble and their unconcious faces splatterd with rather smelly fish scales..phew!!!!! Gus had obviously got that one at the reduced counter!!

Sheena pinched her nose and bent down towards them to......

...check if they (and especially Elliot) needed CPR....

Quote:

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Originally posted by Bill
the book had a very long title and only a few pictures and so was hardly suitable for univeristy studnets (:D ).

.

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Oh really!!!:really:

Despite my limited knowledge on spelling Mr B.T.C College lecturer - I think you will find that diod is spelt did and studnets are spelt students:wink: maybe you would like a picture instead??:wink: :nice: :nice:

fran:kiss:

Quote:

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Originally posted by Fran


Oh really!!!:really:

Despite my limited knowledge on spelling Mr B.T.C College lecturer - I think you will find that diod is spelt did and studnets are spelt students:wink: maybe you would like a picture instead??:wink: :nice: :nice:

fran:kiss:

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That's right Fran!!!!!:wink: You tell him, girl!!!!!!!!:D :
:cheers:
Heather,
:kiss:

Quote:

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Originally posted by Heather




That's right Fran!!!!!:wink: You tell him, girl!!!!!!!!:D :
:cheers:
Heather,
:kiss:

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urmmm,.... now that I have had time to dwell on it - I would like to say that was said in fun Mr B.T.C:kiss: and there is a certain irony in me telling someone how to spell:wink: - could'nt resist it though :nice: :nice:

fran:kiss:

and I was springing to the defence of all the uni students - even if I am part time:wink:

now back to the next exciting installment........ ( I cant go because its not my turn) but will someone please because i am really enjoying reading it all.
had a thought I could design a book with the finished story and maybe it could be auctioned at the next Scottish comp??? just a thought.

Quote:

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Originally posted by TheTramp
...check if they (and especially Elliot) needed CPR....

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fran

and to her utter astonishnment they did not need CPR but what they did need was that next vital clue in the mystery that had clouded their waking hours so they undid Sheena's touchy feely trousers because little did she know that that special design on her knickers was not at all a simple design but a message in brail which would tell them the whereabouts of that all important clue.

So Elliot closed his eyes ( being a gentleman ) and felt sheena's underwear. The message read.................

Quote:

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Originally posted by Fran


Oh really!!!:really:

Despite my limited knowledge on spelling Mr B.T.C College lecturer - I think you will find that diod is spelt did and studnets are spelt students:wink: maybe you would like a picture instead??:wink: :nice: :nice:

fran:kiss:

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normally yes...BUT where I teach we don't have students...we have studnets. It's a devious ply manufatcured by the authorities to circumvent certain EEC regulations over the exact definition of European students. We can claim extra money by them not being students but by being studnets. Brings extra revenue to the north east economy. I just have to tend them every now and again. A little watering and a few misplaced anictdotes ( no facts obviously !!).

Hope that clarifies things for everyone. :wink:

now on with the plot.where were we....oh yes in Sheena's knickers :na: :cheers:

Quote:

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So Elliot closed his eyes ( being a gentleman ) and felt Sheena's underwear. The message read.................

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....... "Ann Summers, 100% rubber, Size (indecipherable)". Aha, thought Elliot, that is why Sheena's avatar bounces so much. In pursuit of the treasure, he and Graham rushed to their nearest Ann Summers shop, only to find ...............

......Scot.....

Quote:

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Originally posted by Ceroc Jock
......Scot.....

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I worry about you Bob.....

Don't read into the SCORPIO thing too much

Elliot & Graham had to abandon their plans to get their own rubber underwear, and instead help Scot and Robert through their troubled relationship. Graham suggested that Robert spend a bit of time away from the man of his life, and DJ at a swing night. Scot misheard this, and decided to promote his next dance as a swingers party. He ...

...wasn't really surprised when the first guests to show up were a couple of News of the World reporters who made their excuses and left. Scot realised the swinging scene wasn't really for him, so instead....

he undid his exotic attire and fancy ( and terribly expensive) lingerie, threw it in the general direction of the assembled crowd, looked in the direction of Franck who was enjoying the company of Wendy, Jayne and Janet, and cried out.....................

...NO!! I can't take any more of this. I'm off to Blitz....

Steve

Quote:

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Originally posted by Scot


I worry about you Bob.....

---

And you worry about me???????????????

Had to pick on someone who hadn't been mentioned yet.:wink:

...NO!! I can't take any more of this. I'm off to Blitz....

ÉÉ where I will be treated with the respect, awe and worship that I merit. But when I go, I will make sure I take with me ÉÉ

...a sheep?...

Quote:

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Originally posted by Jayne
...a sheep?...

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"No! No! No! she is mine!!!! you promised you would never take her Franck!"came a cry. The shocked crowd looked around to see who had made the desperate plea and then they parted, agast at the unexpected sight of........



fran:wink:

Lisa, still tastefully attired in her leather thong and mini basque outfit (yup ... shopping at M&S again), but looking aghast. She sprinted forward tearing the sheep out of reluctant hands and ran toward a waiting car which raced away. Inside the look of young inncocence was replaced by a malevolant evil smile as Lisa (or Madame Lisa D'Pain as her clients knew her) unzipped the fake woollen hide to reveal the REAL secret message. "BHUH HUH HU" .. the Evil Lisa cackled .... "Its Mine ... the Map to the Source of Orange Trousers".....soon, soon I'll be able to.....

(Gus that was a not so subtle attempt to get someone inside your orange trousers akin to Sheena's wasn't it??!)

Quote:

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Originally posted by Jayne
(Gus that was a not so subtle attempt to get someone inside your orange trousers akin to Sheena's wasn't it??!)

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SHHHHSH .... I was hoping no-one noticed. Anyway .. I'm still being distracted by the thought of Lisa in her leather outfit ... anyone got any photos?:wink:

Anyway ... COME ON ... someone contiue the story before Lisa realises whats happening to her chaste image....

Surely that should be 'chased'???

Steve

OK, OK, it's not quite my turn, but in the interests of moving the storyline along .....

Quote:

---

Lisa, still tastefully attired in her leather thong and mini basque outfit (yup ... shopping at M&S again), but looking aghast. She sprinted forward tearing the sheep out of reluctant hands and ran toward a waiting car which raced away. Inside the look of young inncocence was replaced by a malevolant evil smile as Lisa (or Madame Lisa D'Pain as her clients knew her) unzipped the fake woollen hide to reveal the REAL secret message. "BHUH HUH HU" .. the Evil Lisa cackled .... "Its Mine ... the Map to the Source of Orange Trousers".....soon, soon I'll be able to.....

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........ cover my legs with orange trousers like Gus does (although of course he has much more reason to do so). But wait, this looks like an extremely detailed list of directions to The Tramp's residence (posted by him on the "I'm Coming to Glasgow" thread in a deperate attempt to get young Scots lasses to visit his house of ill repute). Could Gus have left his own trousers there when .......

..... that infamous "getting chucked out of Ceroc story swapping" party. On hearing of the swapping bit, out intrepid reporters from the News of the World were there too. Gus, being the sharp eyed creature he is, managed to see through their disguises and realsised they were actually......

... two pot plants, and an ironing board....

but Lisa's keen eyes spotted the subterfuge and because her leather thong and attractive mini basque ( OK Gus !!:D ).....could deflect attention from her hands the ironing board and pot plants had no idea what hit them.

In a whirl and blur of motion Lisa turned the board on its side so it was nice and stiff (:devil: :rolleyes: ) and laid the pot plants on top.


She showed them the map and threatedned that if they didn't tell ehr where the orange trousers were she would .......

... get them to demo for her at the next Intermediate class, where she was planning a 'special' version of the "In & Out hands on chest", involving...

"a left, right and centre handled fangeld wangled quadrupel pretzel thingy ma bob - ( one of the new moves learnt at the latest ceroc update:wink: ) which also devishly incorporated a pair of rubber gloves, a plastic mat and some baby bio leaf polish" to be used upon them if they did not submit to her whim. :devil: :devil: From fear of public humiliation ( although, there was a tiny part of the pot plant and the ironing board which it all did appeal to) , they gave in and told her ....

Quote:

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Originally posted by Gus
Lisa, still tastefully attired in her leather thong and mini basque outfit (yup ... shopping at M&S again),

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Wicked....:D or wicked :eek: :really: :devil: ? Just shocking! I'll have to dust of my angel outfit soon to redress the balance!