Best job in the world?

[David Bailey]

With the news that Texas cheerleaders are to be banned from making too many sexual moves comes the likelihood that the state of Texas will be hiring "cheerocrats" to monitor such lewd behaviour closely, to ensure that the moves aren't too sexy.

So, that's now number 1 on my job wishlist.

Any other suggestions?

[Little Monkey]

My brother recently (well, a while ago, actually) texted me the following job ad:

We are looking to recruit an 'Official Waver' after the tragic loss of the old one. The job involves the occasional waving from balconies and windows.

We are looking for someone who likes sitting around a lot, and who enjoys wearing dresses and silly hats. A liking of sunny climates is desirable

Please send job application and CV to the Vatican.

Ok, tasteless, but very funny! Sorry if I've offended anyone.....

Monkey

[Dreadful Scathe]

waving requires a lot of stamina you know

The texan thing is funny but hardly surprising, its the heart of religious America. To quote "Full Metal Jacket" only "steers and queers" come from Texas - a statement guaranteed to get you lynched if you said it there

[Bangers & Mash]

Quality control in a brothel

As a freelance IT consultant I got a call from an agent asking what my ideal job was and that was what I said.

When he finally got me pinned down to an IT job. He asked me what my ideal rate was.

£1million a week.

He couldn't offer this, so I agreed to start negotiating from there and work down.

Where was my ideal location?

Anywhere in the world except Baghdad and Wales.

(apologies to the welsh - but that comment is always an ice breaker!)

[drathzel]

i wonder does the talking clock voice get royalties (the way songs do) every time someone calls and listens?

[philsmove]

some people are never happy