Age Difference matter?

[KatieR]

Do you have plough experience ??

I could have

*runs off to amend resume*

[Petal]

ok if 5 year gap seems to be favoured , any 40 ish gals out there looking for a dance partner ,lol

So is that 35 - 45, gives you lots of options.

[stewart38]

My mate has been out with a 23yr old and 52yr old this year and you know what he is changing his mind

Age does matter !

It shouldnt but it does

[jockey]

Ive read a few of the replies and there are two unexamined assumptions that need to be questioned:
1) that all individuals of the same (sort of) age are in the same shape
2) that if there is a large disparity in age it is the younger which is the exploited one (if exploitation occurs).

On (1), clearly if you eat the right things and get plenty of exercise and have the right genotype you will look younger and, physically, you will be younger. One test is the skin test - if you pinch the skin on the back of your and it springs back immediately you are younger than the person whose skin dallies around..
On (2) it might be argued that an older person might have material goods and spiritual/intelectual "properties" that could well be "exploitable". Suppose a young girl lives at home out of necessity, hasnt had much experience of life and isnt well read (for whatever reason(s)) and meets a guy who has a nice flat, wellstocked bookshelf and is "experienced" (in the Hendrix sense) - she might well think "I"ll have some of that, thankyou very much.."

(that should be back of your hand, by the way - see on (1))!!!

[jivecat]

The problem with all this of course is there maybe genuine people out there looking fro love marriage and long commitment. (wether there from Russia or South East Asia or where ever)

I can only see a growing number of men and I guess women being dis encharted with what is 'on offer' in UK and going down this route .

I read and it maybe crap but the average duration of an English man marrying a russian women last longer then the average duration of English man marrying a English women

Marriages always did last longer when women were economically dependent on men. One of the prime causes of the high divorce rate is that women are more free to choose now that they usually have independent means.

If it meant a choice between a cosy semi in the Home Counties with a fridge full of M&S food or back to the grimy,crumbling tenement shared with 5 other families in Novosibirsk I think even I would find the motivation to make a relationship work.

C'mon, there must be a few other closet realists out there on the forum. Delightful & inspiring though it is to hear so many tales of marital bliss, surely not everyone is starry-eyed and loved-up?

[LMC]

OK, since jivecat has asked, I'll come out of the closet.

Yes, physical fitness/genotype can make age differences less important.

It was also why I believed that I was seeing an "old-looking" (and behaving) 40 year-old - he was a workaholic - who was actually a "young-looking" (and behaving) 52 year-old. I was 32. Twenty years was too much difference for me.

When all this 'came out' - as these things inevitably do - he said he'd lied because I wouldn't have looked at him otherwise. He was right - even now, I wouldn't knowingly start a relationship with someone 20 years older than myself because I'm selfish enough to want not to be left alone - of course you can't predict illnesses or accidents, but in the natural course of events, he would have died of old age well before I did. IMO, there is nothing intrinsically wrong or immoral about age differences. But I can't/won't get involved with someone much older or younger than me. Perhaps this is down to personal experience - my 81-year old grandfather died when I was only 10 or 11 - leaving my grandmother devastated (they had been very happy together) at the age of only 59.

My older partner and I got along well (and the sex was fantastic) so the relationship staggered on for another year or so after the age gap was revealed. If it had not been for the age difference, then maybe I would have been prepared to make an effort to resolve other issues (not relevant here), but ultimately, I could not get over the age difference - my uncle, who I have always thought of as being in my parents generation is a year younger than this particular ex, for goodness sake!

[philsmove]

An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying. A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying. "Well," says the old man, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old woman. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love." The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!" So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"

[thewacko]

in my opinion it doesn't matter

but in my Honest Opinion if a 40year old tried dating my 19year old daughter, he had better keep his b*****ks well out of my reach or I would tear them off with me bare hands

[under par]

What really matters is how people get on with each other and is nothing to with any age difference.

Historically wealthy men used to take a young bride and the bride was often under 16 but that was in the days when we didn,t have the health and wealth we have now and it was not uncommon for women to have 10- offspring or die in childbirth.

If 2 people care for each other and look after each other let them be whatever age difference there is.

[Little Monkey]

What really matters is how people get on with each other and is nothing to with any age difference.

If 2 people care for each other and look after each other let them be whatever age difference there is.

[Barry Shnikov]

in my opinion it doesn't matter

but in my Honest Opinion if a 40year old tried dating my 19year old daughter, he had better keep his b*****ks well out of my reach or I would tear them off with me bare hands

She didn't tell you about us then??

[Barry Shnikov]

OK, since jivecat has asked, I'll come out of the closet.

Yes, physical fitness/genotype can make age differences less important.

It was also why I believed that I was seeing an "old-looking" (and behaving) 40 year-old - he was a workaholic - who was actually a "young-looking" (and behaving) 52 year-old. I was 32. Twenty years was too much difference for me.ultimately, I could not get over the age difference - my uncle, who I have always thought of as being in my parents generation is a year younger than this particular ex, for goodness sake!

It's one of those decisions, isn't it? You don't bounce up to someone and say "Hey, I'm twenty years older than you! Fancy a shag?"
When it turns into more than you were expecting, the fear factor steps in and you never have the guts to say, "actually, there's something I ought to tell you..."

My mum remarried only a few years after she divorced my dad. She was a little - er - shy about her real age, and so was my stepfather. Accordingly, it wasn't until they were signing the register in the church that they realised he had claimed to be 5 years older than he was, and she to be 5 years younger - they were ten years apart!!

25th anniversary last year, though...

[David Bailey]

It's one of those decisions, isn't it? You don't bounce up to someone and say "Hey, I'm twenty years older than you! Fancy a shag?"

You don't? Damn, I knew I was doing something wrong

[Little Monkey]

It's one of those decisions, isn't it? You don't bounce up to someone and say "Hey, I'm twenty years older than you! Fancy a shag?"

No, but you don't bounce up to people and say "Hey, we're the same age, fancy a shag?" either, do you?

Age isn't really that important. If two peole fancy each other and want to be together, surely that's what matters, as long as both partners are aware of, and happy about, the age gap? But if I'd found out that my partner had lied about his age, I would probably dump him! Not because he's older (or indeed younger) than he'd led me to believe, but because he'd lied to me. And that's completely unacceptable!

So, Sheepy...... It was 39 you said, wasn't it?

[David Bailey]

No, but you don't bounce up to people and say "Hey, we're the same age, fancy a shag?" either, do you?

Damnit, you mean that's Plan B down the toilet too?

[Little Monkey]

Damnit, you mean that's Plan B down the toilet too?

Yup, sorry, you'll just have to be charming instead.

....

[LMC]

Age isn't really that important. If two peole fancy each other and want to be together, surely that's what matters, as long as both partners are aware of, and happy about, the age gap?

- as I said, my grandmother and grandfather (22 years gap) were very happy together. It's just "not for me" on a rational level - being swept off my feet is possible I suppose, but unpredictable by its very nature (ain't that right LM? 'cos I'm really truly happy for you).

But if I'd found out that my partner had lied about his age, I would probably dump him! Not because he's older (or indeed younger) than he'd led me to believe, but because he'd lied to me. And that's completely unacceptable!

Exactly.

Telling me he had no kids was as well (what does lying about something like THAT say about someone ) - if it hadn't been for that, then maybe, just maybe, I could have got over the age thing - but as LM says, it's the lie that matters.

[Little Monkey]

Telling me he had no kids was as well (what does lying about something like THAT say about someone ) - if it hadn't been for that, then maybe, just maybe, I could have got over the age thing - but as LM says, it's the lie that matters.

Hmmm, sounds like a really nice guy you were dating.

So, how many of the guys online do you think lie about their age, then? I came across a couple that actually lied and said they were older than they actually were, 'cus they wanted to date older women, and found that most women wanted someone their own age or older! Then, after admitting to being much younger than they'd initially said, they asked me if I'd be interested in a date, to which my reply was "No, I don't date liars".

[Clive Long]

<< snip >> they asked me if I'd be interested in a date, to which my reply was "No, I don't date liars".

I don't lie or cheat in relationships.

It has nothing to do with moral scruples ... just appalling memory for the lies I would have to remember ...

Women ... who needs lie detectors ?



Woger

On-topic: If any 25-year old female dancers want to test the various theories and views written in this thread .... I am currently available ...

[Lynn]

Historically wealthy men used to take a young bride and the bride was often under 16 but that was in the days when we didn,t have the health and wealth we have now and it was not uncommon for women to have 10- offspring or die in childbirth.

I also know that there was a pattern of men marrying very late here in Ireland - they had to wait until they inherited land before they could be financially able to marry, then they married younger women in order to be able to have children. People no longer have those limiting factors.

What really matters is how people get on with each other and is nothing to with any age difference.