Being told what you are doing wrong in class

[David Bailey]

I know your tongue is firmly in your cheek here, but still.... my belief is that (deliberate hijacks and self-preservation requirements aside) no-one follows badly on purpose, and that as leaders, we need to remember that.

Actually, a few - a very few - followers do "follow badly on purpose". They may not think of it that way of course, but a few followers do indeed deliberately ignore the lead, and do what they think they "should" do, no matter what.

To me, that's following badly on purpose.

[Andy McGregor]

I know your tongue is firmly in your cheek here, but still.... my belief is that (deliberate hijacks and self-preservation requirements aside) no-one follows badly on purpose, and that as leaders, we need to remember that.

This is equally true for leading. Nobody leads badly on purpose.

We are all in a learning situation, including the teacher*. We should take this into account and not judge our partners or make them wrong. In any couple, one or the other will get something first - it would be bad form to point out that the other person got it last. Give them a chance!

[NickC]

I dont know about anyone else, but I have felt like smacking my partner in the face once or twice, but not in the last 5 years, must have got beyond all that. Dont really get insulted much these days, if I do, I find the best dancer I can and dance with them in front of the complainer, does not solve anything, but it does make me feal better.

[Lory]

Men! They're sooo touchy!

[Gerry]

Years ago I was dancing at Hammersmith, I put a girl in a drop and she throw her head back. I stupidly made a comment about her throwing her head back that it could be dangerous. She turned around and said she was a teacher and that I was a sh*t dancer. End of conversation

[Lou]

I guess there's 2 lessons to be learnt from this thread:

• Never criticise or try to teach your partner, even if you have the best intentions. Chances are it won't be welcomed.
• Some pairings just don't gel. It may well be that both of you are actually good dancers - with other people!

[straycat]

Men! They're sooo touchy!

Excuse me? What exactly are you implying?

( :flower

[meghann]

Apparently I'm the exception here but I'd prefer to be told if I'm doing something wrong, and I think I'm at a stage where I can tell genuine and useful corrections from complaints from people who for whatever reason aren't dancing well with me.

Re: deliberately dancing badly, there's one guy who insults me (presumably not intentionally) whenever I dance with him, so I just avoid him as much as possible and dance badly with him when I fail to escape him

[David Bailey]

Men! They're sooo touchy!

And feely. Apparently.

[David Bailey]

I guess there's 2 lessons to be learnt from this thread:

• Never criticise or try to teach your partner, even if you have the best intentions. Chances are it won't be welcomed.

My rules are:

Never criticize anyone whilst social dancing. Ever. Even if they ask for such critiques.

Never criticize anyone whilst in a class, unless:

• You're being paid to do so
• They explicitly ask for critiques, you know exactly what you're doing, and the answer is clear and simple. (e.g. "you're stepping back on the wrong foot")

Well, they're more like guidelines than actual rules...

[David Bailey]

This is equally true for leading. Nobody leads badly on purpose.

Some leaders lead wrong, however, whilst firmly convinced that they're leading well.

We are all in a learning situation, including the teacher*. We should take this into account and not judge our partners or make them wrong. In any couple, one or the other will get something first - it would be bad form to point out that the other person got it last. Give them a chance!

Hippie

[Andy McGregor]

My rules are:

Never criticize anyone whilst social dancing. Ever. Even if they ask for such critiques.

Never criticize anyone whilst in a class, unless:

• You're being paid to do so
• They explicitly ask for critiques, you know exactly what you're doing, and the answer is clear and simple. (e.g. "you're stepping back on the wrong foot")

Well, they're more like guidelines than actual rules...

I agree with this apart from one thing. Outside the private lesson situation I no longer give away critiques to dancers I don't class as friends. Two reason: the first is to do with giving away your product: the second is that a "critique" requires a sort of MOT style list of faults - nobody wants to have their bubble burst!

However, at my own classes I'm quite happy to give someone a tip like a single thing to work on: keeping their shoulders down/elbow pointing at the floor, looking at their partner, not sticking out their bottom, etc.

At other people's classes I'd never teach unless I was the teacher.

[frodo]

Years ago I was dancing at Hammersmith, I put a girl in a drop and she throw her head back. I stupidly made a comment about her throwing her head back that it could be dangerous. She turned around and said she was a teacher and that I was a sh*t dancer. End of conversation

[*]Never criticise or try to teach your partner, even if you have the best intentions. Chances are it won't be welcomed.

While it is probably damaging to point out something dangerous, maybe that should still be an exception.

[Andy McGregor]

While it is probably damaging to point out something dangerous, maybe that should still be an exception.

My advice in this situation is to get someone else to point out the problem. Preferably the teacher, organiser, person who pays the insurance premium, etc.

[NZ Monkey]

Years ago I was dancing at Hammersmith, I put a girl in a drop and she throw her head back. I stupidly made a comment about her throwing her head back that it could be dangerous. She turned around and said she was a teacher and that I was a sh*t dancer. End of conversation

I wonder if she's managed to smash her head into the floor in the years since then.... and then blamed the leader for dropping her too far.

I've got to admit when I hear someone snap that they're a teacher immediately after receiving criticism or advice, I'm usually left wondering why that response was the first one that came to them instead of something about technique or safety. It's essentially the grown-up version of "I'm right and you're wrong", but being a teacher doesn't necessarily mean they're right. It should mean they're reasonably well practiced at explaining why they think they're right though.

[Lee Bartholomew]

Some pairings just don't gel. It may well be that both of you are actually good dancers - with other people!

I quite often find in classes that a couple would struggle getting the patterns right when they are together, but both do absolutely fine when in class rotation with others.

[Lory]

There are things I find that make a difference to turns or spinning.

Good..

Being prepped

being accelerated if the man is wanting you to do multipul turns

the man keeping his hand 'up' if he wants me to do more than one

the man bring his hand down, to clearly indicate that the turns have finished

After multipul spins, its nice if the guy allows me time to recover by either going into some sort of dip or drop and holding me me for a moment

Its also nice if I get a return.. just to allow the blood to stop spinning

The bad..

Men who expect us to turn from cold.. by this I mean, there's no prep or warning, they just suddenly grab your hips or shoulders or raise their hand a stir

Men who lower their hand and then raise it again, for a second turn You wanted me to turn again did you? Guys, if you want us to do a double, DON'T lower your hand!

Men who don't bring their hands down after a turn, it makes us think you want us to turn again. Confusing

Men who don't wait for us to finish our momentum before trying to lead us in the oposite direction... OUCH!